Monday, March 6, 2006

but i know,
im always improving,
but still no its satisfactory,
and i know,
your almost perfect but still,
im not, im not, not, not
Any Other Girl- Stabilo

Hmmmm....
I miss Heero.

Anyway.... I was on my merry little way to work.... and its Canada... Its cold outside... there's snow on the ground... I can see my breath... In all honesty we're all lucky I was wearing my winter jacket.... I walked around all last winter in a hoody... anyway... I was about a block from work... ok.... when I say block... I mean I had about a block's worth of walking to do.... so... Im trudging through the snow... ok.. ok... the walks were shovled... I exagerate... I stopped at this one set of lights cause the light was red which means ouch if you happen to step out at the wrong time... at least thats what Im told... and this nice young gentlman hesitantly pulls over and rolls down his window. He wasnt that old... only about 23... 24 maybe... ((hahaha 20 is old to me and Ill be 20 in 7 months XP... awwww shit...)) anyway... Spilt second decision... I took the offer... It really wasnt that far to walk... but..... Im lazy.... So... I was kinda waiting for him to drive off in the opposite direction... cause Im kinda paranoid about stuff like that... anyway... We talked a little bit as he drove me to work and he was pretty cool... I neglected to catch his name.... but... It just kinda made me feel warm and fuzzy that someone would be that kind... Looking back at it..... I was kinda dumb..... but Ive been getting a bit of guff over my plans to go to c-town by myself and stuff.... The way I see it... You can play it overly safe and always be worrying..... or you can take a few risks... I dont plan on catching rides with strangers that often... But I dont plan on jumping every time a car drives by... Im sure I had a point to the story.... but I kinda forgot it.... oh yeah... Eat you pudding like a good little dumpling...

*snickers* I swear... my mind starts working odd at 6 in the morning...
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, March 5, 2006

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my doors always open
You can come anytime you want
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5

So.... I cant complain about the knife situation anymore.... I got a new one... I just need to learn to watch my fingers. I got a couple nice scratches from cardboard today.... One right on the inside of my left elbow.... Its not as irritating as I thought it would be.... which is good.... cause otherwise it woud have bugged me. I went and looked at laptops today. I found my new baby. Quick I know XD but I loves her... Cant wait till shes mine. Not top of the line by far... but its all I really need... So.... I was thinking about saving today in my hours of deep thought and manual labour. Now... I know the older people that visit will remember the old OLD gameboys... maybe even own one... you know the big grey brick? The screen was kind of a greyish green?

^looked like that?^
Yeah... anyway... long story short... when I was little.... cause I was little at one point... I was saving up to purchase my very own little Gameboy. I NEEDED the Gameboy... so... there I was... with my birthday money... and stuff... saving... and right in the middle of saving..... guess what comes along... nice new fad.... now... this is more of a story for the older cooler people... so... you remember pogs?

^like that?^
Yeah... those bastards came around.... it was hard being as I was only like... 7... 8... 9 maybe? Grade three.... equals 8ish... so... yeah... long story short... I managed to more or less ignore the fad.... got my Gameboy.... only to have the jerks at Nintendo come out with Gameboy Color 2 years later... for almost the same price I believe... so the moral of the story.... Invest in Pogs.... They are the wave of the future... or past.. how ever you want to look at it... anyway... I now have a goal... Ill start posting progress when I start saving... few other things to take care of first...
Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, March 4, 2006

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
Crash and Burn- Savage Garden

Alright... so... a few piss offs today. First off... my Trillian thinger... which is what I use for all my messenger services (MSN, yahoo, AIM)decided to be a bitch... the end result of working with it for five minutes? I lost all my MSN contacts..... SOOOOOO... luckily I added almost every one back... I think... anyone I missed... Im sure they'll eventually messege me and I can add them again... no biggie...
Second off... due to unfortunate events (ie. My inability to budget)... my cell is cut off. XD Now.... It wouldnt be so bad if I had a house phone.... but.... I opted out of that option thinking that I would be fine with just the cell. Of course.... a few long distance calls that really werent called for tend to add up fairly quickly and with the hours being cut at Showcase I lacked money to pay the bill and in the end Im just a bit ticked at myself for letting it get to this point for more than one reason. Its just comming down to saying no to everyone not in my area code except for a few special people who deserve the phone calls. (( Zanorich.... if your reading which I hope you are... *whimpers* Im so sorry... If it makes you feel better... your the reason I found out I was cut off XD))
Anyway... funny thing... Im running around at work... most of it is the fun individual work where you sit there and work by yourself and think all together to much.... And Im trying to figure out where to get the money to pay the bill. So... I get my last cheque from Showcase at the end of the week... but..... I need my phone back before then... so... I decided on making a few sacrafices... I bought a wireless chip so I could hook MY comp back up to net.... that was about 60 bucks.... but... since my comp is a POS to begin with.... its missing a few required peices of computery things to make it work... so... I return the chip... get my 60 bucks back.... put that to the cell bill..... and.... with a bit of not eating, not being soical (except for a trip down to C-town in the near future), not doing a whole lot of anything but paying rent... I figure I can have a laptop in about 2 months.... depending on the payment options I have and all... maybe three months.... I guess it all depends on where I get it and how much it costs and stuff.... but if anyone can explain how my brain works with going from paying a overdue cell bill to owning a laptop in three months.... it would be nice if you filled me in. I just think Im over ambitious....

Its kinda funny... you would think with the stuff that happened today.... I would be pissed... but.... Im kinda meh... Im not sure if its due to certain out of control events that have occured.... or just the fact that I've been working enough to not really care... but..... the lack of stress is surprisingly nice... even if I really should be stressed a little... which I might be... Im not sure.... Im kinda tired... Oh... and another thing... cause Im going to complain about it till I change it.... I was ridiculed because of my knife today.... I think the words "Thats" "not" and "real knife" were used...
Sita
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, March 3, 2006

i just wanted you to know
i think about you every night
when i fall asleep
you are in my dreams
and just like in a movie
the one you want to see
with a happy ending
We Are So Last Year- Hawthorne Heights

So... I kinda feel a bit sore... That and I officially need to replace my "safety" knife. What could have been a legitimate flesh wound looked like a scratch... for about three minutes.... that and I need new shoes... my old steals make my feet hurt. And the music at work is odd.... a big mix of stuff... so... I guess I cant complain... at least it keeps me some what sane. I showed up today and Pat, the woman who was supervising Wendsday night, was all happy with me and saying how great I am because I set up a wall of summer plate-y and glass stuff. I was kinda dissapointed with the set up because it was full of holes.... go figure.... then I got to work the whole night by myself with unpacking boxes of cookies and stuff. Im kinda proud of the fact that while I had 8 hours of alone time to think... I wasnt depressed or angry in the end. Which is normally what happens after 8 hours of reflection. oh... and I hate working in food. I spend all this time looking at the pretty packages... and all I can thinks is... "Oooo.. some canned peaches would be nice right now...." I think I went through ten different cravings in 2 hours... Other than that I think romance is dead and Im tired... Talk at ya all later... sheep to count and such
Sita
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, March 2, 2006

We on the grind in - Georgia
All the time,it aint
Nothing on my mind but - Georgia
We aint playing with you
Georgia- Ludicris

Ok... so... Im feeling better now... First night of work was pretty good. Gave Zanorich a call on my break and talked to him for a bit... which was cool. They pretty much just threw me into the deep end with everyone going to the stock room to sort stuff right off the bat. I used a few muscles that I forgot I even possesed... which was good. Its kinda like they pay you to work out.... so maybe Ill get fit and keep it up with this job as well as make some money... Other than that.... I need to buy a Sita "safety" knife... they gave me one.... and... really its more of a hazard than one you just put the blade in and out on... you never know if its actually doing its job... so thats a bit dangerous..... I like to have a bit of control over my knife thank you. other than that.... Im a bit tired... I started to crash at about 3... but I had been up since noon Wendsday... and doing stuff... so.... its been about a full day... All in all it wasnt that bad though.... and like I said... I feel alot better emotionally today...
Sita
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heartbeat, break within your chest now
Try to get some rest now, sleep's not coming easy for a while, child
Down- Something Corporate

So you remember that thing, at that place, with the stuff, and then he was there too, and then you left, and I was alone, and things happened, and now Im lost and confused?
Its better now...

So... sleeping has become difficult in general... which makes me kinda tense... which leads to me getting annoyed... I dont want to talk to many people... Im considering doing that thing where I block a whole bunch of people again so its just the ones I really want to talk to who can see me... Cause Im that much of a bastard. Its hard to keep up a conversation when you really dont care to much... I've been stupidly bi-polar lately with being happy then being sad then being angry then just wanting to sulk and be by myself, or just talk to one particular person and I swear I've had the conversation with a few people lately. You know when you want to talk to someone and you send them a private message or an e-mail or what ever... sometimes you just feel odd starting it and your not sure what to say or if its an ok thing to do. Depending on how long you've known the person or what your relationship is with them and stuff... You know they wont mind and you dont see why they would mind... but it still feels odd. yeah... thats generally the reason why I dont talk to many people... the oddness...
In other things new and exciting... I feel like Im going through a drug withdrawl again... I hate when I get feeling like this... Its more just the emotional depressingness of it all... and the disconnection. I just dont feel well...
I spent a large portion of the day with an old friend from high school. It was pretty much snowing all day so it was cold and ugly out... but pretty at the same time... It was cool to see my friend again... We were the only two in physics to understand the theory of relativity with out asking questions. It was bloody brilliant... well... Im done... first day of work tonight... wish me luck...
Sita
Comments (2) | Permalink

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse
Barely stuttered out
A joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue
And weighed down with words too overdramatic
Tonight it's "it cant get much worse"
Vs. "no one should ever feel like"..
Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy (Demo Version)

Ok… so to explain. Friday night I spent at Stacie’s. Saturday night I spent at home with family. Sunday night I spent at Tiga’s. I had my little orientation for Zellers… That was… kinda depressing… Four women including myself plus the trainer person. Longest 4 hours ever. Didn’t help everyone was that lovely version of silence where its kinda polite but not really. Like… “Hi Im So and So and Im going to sit here and be quiet cause Im not quite sure what to say” SOOOOO… I cracked a few jokes over the course of the first two hours then gave up trying to be funny. Not that I wasn’t… just… all I got was a half hearted “Ha… Ha… hee… Heh…” or two. SO that’s no fun. But I made it through… I was the only night person so every time the woman mentioned something that only applied to the DAYWALKERS!!! Cause your all day walkers now by the way. I got the special “Oh but not you… Your on nights” BWAHAHAHAH!!! CONSIDER ME DIFFERENT!!! Ehem… anyway… Wednesday night is my first night and it should be interesting. Until then I get to “Adjust” which means I basically can straight out bitch out anyone who wakes me up during the day now XD.

Ok… So… I was at Tiga’s last night… Dory was around for a bit… Being the good little Canadians we are we went for slushes at 11:30 at night in the middle of winter… of course… at this point Tiga was a bit irked at Dorian for planning to skip out on her to go play X-Box with his buddies at work. So… They get in a fight in the car just before we go into the store to get slushes… So… Yeah… wasn’t quite sure what to do so I just sat in the back and pretended I was somewhere else. Nice and quiet and non-inputting. Like an old dog that just watches… So… they finally work it out enough to stop arguing and we get the slushes. Go back to Tiga’s… she and him decide to continue with the fight that was suppose to be forgotten… of course… they have it in her room… where I was sitting on the bed… in the corner… eating ice cream and drinking a slush. Once again kinda trying to pretend I wasn’t there… well… I WAS attempting to watch TV. But seeing how I had to watch the TV through the arguing… I kinda ended up paying attention to the fight… made a few stupidly obvious statements that finally drove them out of the room. Went back to eating my ice cream and slush. Watched some TV… finally got to stop pretending I was somewhere else… Course… they were then gone for about half an hour having one of those awkward relationship talk dealies… Which I’m happy I got to miss… I don’t need to be part of anymore of those for a while… Its just a bit funny and irritating sometimes how their relationship is basically based on ticking each other off… and then they get in one of these fights and I have to be the one in the corner humming to myself to pretend Im not there…

Speaking of which… I got to have a lovely conversation with Zanorich again… trying to make plans once again to go down and see him. I think Im just going to ride the bus down one week end… I told him if he ended up being a 90 year old guy who planned on raping me he had another thing coming to him… to which his response was “Do I sound like a 90 year old guy?”… So anyway… that will very hopefully happen in the next month or so… Im already kinda trying to make summer plans to go camping and crap… so… we shall see how that all works out… anyway… that’s the recap of the past few days…exciting and amazing I know… but Its better than the rant I was planning on writing… Oh... last thing… I have veritable proof children do not have good senses of judgment… for some odd reason she seemed to like me… and spit on me… and Im happy she isn’t mine… but she is cute… ciao all
Sita

Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, February 27, 2006

So come outside and walk with me
We'll try each other on, see if we fit
And with our roots become a tree
To shade what we make under it.
Southern Girl- Incubus

So.... in the past three days I've spent a grand total of 1.5 hours at home... like... where my bed is located.

I wonder if my room mate thinks Im dead yet...
Sita
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I need a meaning
I need a soul
This circle is vicious but precious like gold
Don't push the river
Don't stop the flow
Dead in the water caught in the undertow
Push the River- The Exies

So... It was the last day at hell hole. Heres to hoping Zellers is better. I spent the previous night at Stacie's where we hung out... Played Monopoly with Zanorich and one of his friends. Which was awesomly cool. Zanorich and I teamed up and in the end I won ^.^ So... like I said... that was fun. course... that ment I was up really late...and I might have been.... ehem... bout five minutes late opening the store.... but meh... last day... you think I care? Obviously I do a bit if Im telling you all.. ^.^;; Worked there for 7 months and the first time Im late is my last day... isnt that a bit ironic. anyway... after that I got jumped by family..... currently on the old dial up connection. whoot! It hasnt been that bad of a visit so far. They bought me pants XD... Well... black cords... which I love.... for some odd reason. Anyway... Got home.... ate food.... lots of food... I think I forgot how hungry I can get... anyway... due to only getting about 3 hours of sleep the night previous, I passed out after I ate. Of course... Things being the way they are... People call while Im asleep. So that wakes me up... But.. It was Zanorich. So I silently forgave him, woke up really fast and neglected to tell him I had been sleeping. But it was a good talk. We discovered that not only are the computers and Tree Frogs working together... but the Zombies are also in the mix.
Note: See past past PAST archives for more information if your lost. Conspiracy theories are my hobby.
What else happened.... ummmmm..... not much. Im starting to get one of those lack of proper sleep headaches that I get so I actually will be going to bed soon... I was trying to back up some music CDs for my personal collection... but the burner seems to be acting up..... sooooooo... fick that... Ill just steal the CDs for a while... My sisters wont miss em XD Anyway. Have a lovely Sunday ladies and gents. I'm just hoping I get a shower in the near future
Sita

Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Strut Strut...Turn the streets into your catwalk
So Baby who cares if you got your heart stuck
Stuck on a boy who only brought you bad luck
There's no reason for you to feel all bad
If the boy don't want to keep you just make him wish he had because...

It's Friday night and you ain't quite right
You got your back against the wall
But your head ain't on too tight
When you break your heart bad there's something you outta know honey
One monkey don't stop no show so...
Strut- Danko Jones

So..... What I thought was my last day wasnt my last day and I found out I have to open saturday. How very annoyed that makes me. Other than that... it was an ok day. would have been better if I could FUCKING WELL CATCH RAMSES. *cough cough cough* I think I just had an outburst.... Anyway..... Ummmmm... I forgot... Oh yeah..... I passed out for 12 hours yesterday due to exaustion..... go me... anyway...... Ill think of something better to write later.... Im kinda... nerg.... Got a growing list of people Im missing spending time with. Its like everyone went on vacation and forgot to tell me they were leaving. Well... the one didnt... but...... grrrrr.... Im done... ciao all
Sita
Note:
For all you Monty Python fans.... Dory and the Penis Song
!!CLICK ME!!
Comments (1) | Permalink