Friday, February 24, 2006

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning

there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
there it goes
Quasimodo- Lifehouse

If you think its worth being saved.... go right ahead Con.
Im not entierly sure what my schedual is going to be like yet... I still have to see exactly how things work out. I've been really slack with visiting the few sites I do visit. I think the only one I got to was Con's ^.^; So I guess we'll all have to see what happens.
And as a beautiful way to leave the store. On my second last day I made a $4,000 sale. Between Colleen and myself we have made the budget for the week. And I think JoAnn's sales have yet to breach the $1,000 mark. This is relevant due to the fact that A) Shes the manager and has to meet her sales. B) Ed gave her shit for not meeting her sales. C) If she doesnt make her sales she looses her job.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ehem.... well... Time to go back to bed. Ciao all
Sita
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Thursday, February 23, 2006

You're in my head tormenting me
I'm running scared in my time of need
Cuts on my head cuts on my feet
I'm here waiting so baptize me
Baptize Me- The Exies

So... Im thinking of it as the 20-year-old-crisis. At about the age of 20 or so.... some people manage to realize they arent quite sure where they want to go in life. It seems to come in waves. It bothers you for a week then it goes away... then it comes back....... then goes away.... then comes back then... You get the point. I'm fully aware I lack any real direction as of now in my life and I kinda like it that way. There are things I want to do but none of them really have a time limit on them.

Some people, myself included, seem to find it discouraging... expecially when they are surrounded by friends that all know what they want to do, or they have family members urging them to quit waiting around (( I hated the last actual real talk I had with my dad about this.)), or sometimes its personal drive or unhappiness. What ever the hell it is that drives us to this point of stress... it seems to have a vision narrowing side effect. We only are able to see the end and everything we lack. Everything that we do have in our favor seems to be forgotten and we can only focus on the voids. But.... You think about it.... We're all likely to live till at least 60... thats a really really REALLY low estimate with the technology and such we have today. So.... worst comes to worst.... you've lost 1/3 of your life. Your in school, generally till your 18... so really.... you may as well round it up to a full 20 years. Nuttin you can do about it really.... They force you to go to school... right? SO.... 2/3s of your life are left to use... Get a job, make money, buy a car/house/pony for the non-existant but possible 7 year old daughter, get married, have that non-existant but possible 7 year old daughter/son/twins/god only knows.... I dont need to..., ...... THAT is going on the assumption that you only live till 60.... which..... psht....... your more likely looking at 80 or 90 or 100 with all the chemicals in the food these days, perserving us from the inside out as we eat.

On one hand it seems like alot of time.... but.... at the same time a year still is 365 (366 every four years) days.... a day is still 24 hours..... a hour is still 60 minutes and a minute is still 60 seconds. Its just time.... And time seems to run slower when your watching the clock...

The point is.... I dont understand why we get so worked up over wanting to take time to really figure out what we want to do... The key is to be happy.... If your happy.... whos to tell you your doing it wrong?



Anyway.... I got the job at Zellers..... which means posting is going to get weird and Im not going to be on MSN at night as much.... I will be around though... so never be afraid to send a PM telling me Im an idiot for leaving the world of the sun people... I'll probably send one back, telling you your an idiot for never taking the time to look at the stars at 5 in the morning just before the sun comes up. But at least you'll get a reply. speaking of PM's... I need to write an e-mail to Afro as he has dissapeared on me due to school.... so you have a killer night and day and I hope my rambling made some sense...
Sita
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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Turn your television off and I will sing a song.
And if you suddenly have the urge, you can sing along.
I touch your hand, touch your face; I think the fruit is rotten.
Give me lessons on how to breathe 'cause I think I've forgotten.
Yeah, think I've forgotten.
Leader of Man- Nickelback

Up untill this point everything I've been thinking about all draws to one simple thought.

I miss Heero

Will attempt to be more elaborate tomorrow.
Sita
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

To a perfect combination, once this passion is unleashed
Golden Angel, precious Princess and since
This is more than just lust, trust if not now, then soon
One love, we'll have our chance to dance on the moon
Now the feel the trance of this goddess, vicious vibrations
Lapdances, venomous serpents of temptation
Awkward balance, scars on my back from her talons
An evil evening, drinking blood by the gallons
Lady Venom- Swollen Members

So... I've kinda developed a slight obsession with the Bloodhound Gang.... I dont think thats healthy.... but meh.

Im thinking the interviews went well... For those not knowing what Im talking about... I had two job interviews yesterday.... Im thinking Im going to go with the one from Zellers.... I applied for the night crew.... so despite the fact it will mess with my posting and night stuff..... I think it will be worth it. Ensured 35 hours and its mostly individual work. From the sounds of it I got either job.... But thats just how it sounds... so.... no promises I guess... Ummm.... something else...... Oh yeah.... Howee..... Way to be man.... Way to be... And Im done for the night...
Sita
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Monday, February 20, 2006

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young
Desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage- Panic! at the Disco

Alright... this is going to be one of those posts where I tend to jump topics with no real rhyme or reason. That of course all depends on how lazy I get…. I may just veto certain topics due to laziness….

So… to start off…. I was talking to Keagon. She’s one of Ramses’ friends… A really cool chick. Anyway…. We were discussing certain plans and it all kinda came to this…

Sita: Assasins? Ramses could pay me in... oh wow that sounds corney... nevermind
Keagon: Haha. That was funny. ^^
So are you two gonna get married? On gaia
Sita: O.O;..... *mumbles* we havent really talked about that...
Keagon: Oh ok. ^^
-smiles-
Sita: Sorry... I havent had much luck with guys.... Im still a little paranoid that hes going to PM me one day and say he doesnt love me...
Keagon: He loves you. He talks about you a lot. He's the same way as you. I think your first girl since A's mom that he's actually liked.

Ehem… It was a scary conversation for a moment… Anyway… Blagh…. I’m already getting lazy.

So. Despite being ready to pass out at 10 last night I ended up pulling an all nighter talking to Zanorich. Went to bed at about 7 in the morning XD. I think at about 1:30 we started playing games on games.com. I kicked his ass at Boggle XD and almost at Scrabble if I hadn’t have the tiles from Hell. So anyway. I got a call from Stacie at about 1:30ish in the afternoon I think…. When I was still sleeping. She gave me crap for going to bed “early” and still being in bed. My response was “Hey… I don’t have to work today and I only got five hours of sleep the other night. I’m going back to sleep and there isn’t anything you can do about it” SOOOOOO I went back to sleep. About half an hour later I get a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. I pick up and its Walmart. I half assed applied there a few days back because they wouldn’t give me an application but they did get me to write my name down on a list of people waiting to be called up in regards to if any jobs opened up. So…. I got an interview for there today at 10:30. That made me happy considering I was still kinda trying to wake up by the end of the phone call. I have to wonder at what kind of impression I left. But they still called me in…. so maybe they think I’m naturally a bit slow.

So… At this point Im more or less at the point where I can still fall asleep and doze for a bit or I can just get up and do other stuff. Being as Im lazy I opted for the dozing and went back to sleep. Hour later I get a call from Zellers ((Canadian store… more or less exactly like Walmart)) Had a phone interview with them. Im kinda glad I had been woken up two other times earlier cause they asked me such questions as “Why do you think you are suited to work in a retail environment such as Zellers?” for joy with the forming coherent and intelligent responses after having just being woken up. So I got an interview with them at 2 in the afternoon today. Just so we can all keep track. I’ve only put in two actual official applications and one jotted down “application”. And two calls. YAY! Course. I went back to sleep again. Im not entirely sure about the timing in there cause I was asleep for most of it. That and Tiga called at some point in the whole thing…. I think she called after the Zellers call…. That or it was before….. When ever it was… after the last call I got I figured that something was telling me it would be a good idea to wake up.

That was what happened to me on my day off. Entertaining no?

So… the other topic I kinda want to look at. I keep having a weird feeling Im going to turn a dark corner in my house and see the little girl from The Ring. I blame lack of sleep-induced paranoia.

So… I was thinking… cause I tend to do that sometimes… about guys and stuff and things. When it gets really quiet and I have nothing better to think about my mind generally tends to drift back to D’Hiur and other people and stuff. That’s part of the thoughts backing my reaction to Ramses and stuff… So anyway. My thoughts keep coming back to just general ways boys and girls interact and how people act as individuals and just how people act. Usually I look at couples I know such as Tiga and Dory or Al and Jaxx… and other couples too… Its to hard to explain where the reasoning comes from with out laying out complex descriptions of the Relationships and Individuals. Mental profiles and such. In order to explain it just needs to be viewed through out the relationship. The thoughts kinda all build up at some points till Im to confused to make sense of any of it.

Just this pointless rant is starting to make my head hurt… I had another point to make but I’ve totally drifted away from it. In the end all I can come to is some people tend to only be happy when they have another person who seems to “complete” them. Sadly I think I might be one of them. But Im trying to get away from that. Also the word Love is overused and over rated. I cant think of a better way a person could tell another person how they feel… But I know I tend to not take the “L” word as seriously after a few of the things I’ve had to put up with. That or I take it to seriously. Kind of a “Don’t use it unless you mean it” attitude.


Anyway… either the small attention span is wavering or I got lazy cause I think I just forgot what I was ranting on…. Time for bed I think…. Have a good one all
Sita
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction,
Forgive our sins Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues selling faux sermons Because I am a new wave gospel sharp, and you'll be thy witness
So gentlemen, if you are going to preach Then for God sakes preach with conviction!
I Constantly Thank God For Esteban- Panic! At the Disco

NOTE:
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^That’s what pops up when I try to post^
V My Reaction V
BLOODY EFFING HELL. Would they quit messing with the damn site… twice in a week makes me annoyed.

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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Gone going
Gone everything
Gone give a damn
Gone be the birds when they don’t want to sing
Gone people
All awkward with their things
Gone- Jack Johnson

Welp.... I handed in my resignation today..... I dont have a new job.... but meh.... way things are I can probably get a job in the new week or so... Way I see it..... I would rather search for a week or two than put up with the BS much longer.... that and Im going to spend my last week being as unhelpfull as I can be.... on another topic.... I think I might sleep on the floor for a few nights... my neck hurts and I want to figure out a way to make it stop.... I only have one or two people willing to give me a neck massage that I would actaully let rub my neck... and the closest one is an hour and a half away and doesnt own a car. So that makes me sad... anyway.... I think Im done for the night.... I didnt get much sleep in the past few days... so Im kinda going on gut... something or other.... dont ask...
Sita
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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sit tight
I'm going to need you to keep time
Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me
Good good now we're making some progress
come on just tap, tap, tap your toes to the beat.
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage- Panic! at the Disco

Well... consider this stating the blinding obvious.... but the sites are working again. as of 8:36 my time, 10:36 MyO time I had 10, 001 downloads on my wallies... so Whoot! ummmm.... I got to talk to Ramses for a whole half hour yesterday.... I think Im going to figure out a way to throw a flaming volkswagon beetle through his house.... Not to hurt him... Im hoping I can hit the wh*re of a woman that hes having to put up with for A's sake.....

Yeah.... shes a wh*re....
Sita
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Friday, February 17, 2006

I am the new cancer,
never looked better, you can't stand it.
because you say so under your breath.
your reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer,
never looked better and you can't stand it.
There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet- Panic! at the Disco

Well..... I tired to avoid the big fanfair over Panic! at the Disco and then after listening to a few songs I bought the CD today. Its kinda my way to deal with things.... some people go shopping for clothing or eat or what ever.... I buy music.....

There are five people I'm willing to accomodate and respect here on the MyO. Afro Jones, Con, Zappa, Howee, and Heero. There are a few people such as Kevin that are on the list.... Just arent around enough to get a special mention. When something bothers these people..... I get bothered....

Anyway.... observe again as I get.... nevermind... I probably deserved it for looking forward to something.... at least I get to sleep....
Sita
Note: Im 17 downloads away from 10,000 downloads on my wall papers.
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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares
All The Small Things- Blink 182

uhhhh.... Ok.... so after talking to my mom and a few other people.... I decided screw the work conditions..... Im just going to get a new job as planned.... I dont need to make it a bigger fight than its worth.... ummmm... Winter finally decided to rear its head... which.... ok.... Its Canada.... its not winter unless theres snow on the ground.... its the wind and the cold that makes me sad.... expecially when I have to walk through it to go to work... other than that.... not much happened.... I got a call at 1:30 last night to go get slurpies... so I ended up just driving around with Tiga and Dory for a while to blow off steam and relax... which was prolly good for me and Tiga.... anywho..... I've been sitting here for 30 minutes now trying to think of something else to say and I cant think of anything... I was going to do one of those reflective posty things.... but meh.... Ill save that for when I think its relevant to the situation.... ta ta all
Sita
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Now I lay me down to sleep
Blah, blah, blah my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
I'll go to hell for heaven's sake
Go To Hell- Megadeth

Well.... V-day went out more or less as predicted. I spent the majority of it at home hiding from the world. That kinda made me happy.... I should have slept longer is my only regret. I went to work... checking the schedual for the week that is FINALLY up.... I only get 19.5 hours this week. *deep breath* Its starting to look more and more like a legal battle....Just talking to a few people. Course the majority of the people Im talking to have personal feelings toward JoAnn. So I guess I get to do some work to find out if we I have a chance from the indifferent point of view..... Looking at the stuff I have to read through.... Its kinda going to be interesting.... anyway.... In other news... ((I've been saying that alot lately)) I've started "making" my own clothing.... usually consist of adding sleaves onto T-shirts. The sleaves are made out of adjusted socks.... Im cuttting finger holes in them.... Im kinda losing touch with rational thought... Dont ask and it all makes sense..... anyway..... Im tired... and got stuff to do.... have a good one all
Sita
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