Saturday, February 4, 2006

You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.
I Miss You- Incubus

So its been a bit of a bittersweet day. A long day... it started at about... well... 1ish last night when I posted... I was planning on going to bed early because Tiga and I were suppose to go shopping for a bit... Anyway... I cant even rememer why I stayed up to catch him... I think I was talking to Zanorich... And Heero popped up on MSN.... I ended up giving him a call and we talked for a good 3 and a half hours. It was a good talk... I was happy I got the chance to talk to him. So.... besides I lost about four hours of sleep to that.... not that Im complaining... I ended up getting about 6 hours of sleep before I was suppose to wake up and give Tiga a call to go shopping. Woke up... Gave her a call.... She decided to forfiet spending money to stay at school and get some help with Bio. Understandable.... School is school and Im just a person. So I ended up on the computer ((wow eh?)) talked to Ramses for a good four hours till I had to leave for work. I really really considered calling in sick... not just because I wanted to talk to Ramses... but also because I just didnt want to go in.... I curse my small sense of responsibility.... went to work.. got there.... worked for a bit... Then JoAnn brings up this new plan to meet the sales requirements we have. See.... we have this thing called an Extended Service Plan ((aka ESP)) that we sell... 20% of the price of the product purchased and the person gets three years worth of security. So if they buy something... The something breaks... we replace it. We have to make so many dollars in ESPs per week..... my thought is "If the person wants it they buy it and if they dont then they are SOL".... Anyway.... JoAnn decideds were going to follow something another store has been doing where you basically force the customer to purchase the ESP. You include the price of the ESP in the total price of the item and thats what the person pays. Now.... ok... its not so bad I suppose.... 8 dollars the person gets 3 years on this thing we sell thats kinda like the Magic Bullet *hates the Magic Bullet with a passion*. I understand your only trying to do good by the customer... they get the ESP with out really knowing it and they're covered for three years. I think its more the way we were expected to do it... Sneaky underhanded like.... thats what made me mad... The customer is offered the ESP anyway... no need to shove it down their throats. kinda like.... "TAKE IT AND LIKE IT BISNACH!!" Before I even got to changing the prices I spoke up and said "Wait a minute... this seems a bit underhanded.... I dont like this.... I dont agree with it.... it feels wrong" JoAnn's response was "Well its for the customer and YOU will go change the prices RIGHT now"... Anyone seen the new Batman movie? The part where hes in the temple/monastary thing.... And they tell him to kill the criminal because he stole the bread or what ever *is drawing a slight blank at 1 in the morning* Overdramatic comparison.... but its kinda like that... You go against your own values and do as your told... Or you stick with your values and risk the consequences... I bit my tounge... got a pricing gun.... went and repriced the 20 or so things I had to reprice... walked back to the back room... put the pricing gun back and took off my shirt started to get my stuff together and told them to have a good day. The minute JoAnn realizes I'm walking out she starts to back petal. I tell her straight out "Its not fair to the customer what your doing. They are given the choice for a reason. And thats not the only reason why Im leaving.... This is just the last thing Im taking..." In the end... she let me change the price tags back (( whoot... more work for me)) and I stayed at work.... Im not sure how I should feel about this... I should have kept walking... The way I was told to do the task... the way it was handled... it felt like a breach of my rights.... and from the way JoAnn acted after I threatened to quit tells me that I had the power at one point... It just makes me slightly mad to know that my opinion isnt taken into account unless its the last thing I say to them... I think part of the reason why I acted so hostile to begin with was the talk with Heero last night and knowing that I had a legitimate reason to be upset. A half victory I guess because I really should have walked out. I'm getting tired of being treated like my role in the store isnt appreciated.... Im there to do the things JoAnn cant.... and other than that Im suppose to shut up and go along with the ride.... which I'll do to a point... but not when it makes me question the type of person I am. If the "company" is about customer "service"... then the customer should have the "service" of being able to make their own damn decisions.

...

I had other stuff I wanted to bitch about but I think I'll save that for tomorrow if nothing else... Thanks for the support yesterday... I really think I am going to make an effort to meet Ramses... not in the NEAR near future... but soonish... as in a few months provided we stick together... *is going to make an effort to not be to sappy as she turns sappy when shes happy with who shes with*
Sita
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Friday, February 3, 2006

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And Im praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
If Your Not The One- Daniel Bedingfield

Ok.... so... I went out with Stacie and a new friend Megan for coffee... me up with Tiffy..... then met up with Tiga and Dorian... We all sat around and had coffee and stuff.... laughed... had fun.... Then I went off with Tiga and Dorian to get food.... I've told Tiga all about Ramses... I think this is the first time Dorian has really heard about anything in detail... So.... He kinda gave me the look he use to use when he talked about D'Hiur... the "Im going to make up some dumb story just to put doubt in your head" look.... Before he even says anything I looked at him and quietly told him how I felt...something along the lines of "I really like this guy... I believe he really likes me... And I dont want you to start saying shit..."

.......

Anyway... I dont know how the boy managed to do it... I think its just the tone he uses.... its got this cynical smartass feel to it.... Makes you feel stupid... He started saying stuff like "Oh yeah... we can get you a train ticket and Ill even help pack your bags... do you think your computer will fit in a bag?" Which... I've already mentioned I want to go visit Ramses... which.. its a bit sudden cause I've only known him for about four weeks and we've only gotten close in the past week and a half or so... so it seems really fast even for me.... I dont want to get to into the relationship just to find out he isnt as interested as he makes himself out to be... I've told him I dont want to get hurt again... And he tells me he isnt going to do that... I'm probably paranoid.... but I still want to keep a bit of distance... which is hard... *sighs* Its kinda funny.... I have alot of doubts right now... and I feel bad about it... cause its kinda like Im punishing one person for the faults of another.... And I really dont want to have these doubts.... One side tells me Im to trusting... and the other tells me I dont trust enough.... Which is really starting to tick me off...
Sita
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Thursday, February 2, 2006

Well maybe I'm in love
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
Accidentally in Love- Counting Crows

Ok... so.... bout... well.... *goes back to find the post shes thinking of* WHY THE HELL DO I TALK SO MUCH?!?!.... *grumbles as she sorts though her archives* HA!! found it.... anyway.... hmmmmm *reads over the old post* I knew most of it wasnt that important.... anyway.... the breakdown of the post was stuff a guy could do to make me like him... stuff from general physical contact to my current favorite... beach trip... I made this post way back in May of last year.... so that gives you a timeframe to think about.... anyway... after looking at the stuff I listed... it all matters... but its not important as just being there... being a good guy... being trustworthy.... *realizes shes learned something about relationships in the past year* damn.... anyway.. THATS NOT THE POINT!! Ramses said he had an early surprise Valentine's day present for me because he's going to be busy Valentine's day.... so.... anyway.... He and a friend of his set up a private thread for me and him to use to... anyway... the way its set up its a private beach type thing... *smiles* it might sound a bit stupid to some people... *is thinking of Dorian who she might kick in the balls if he says the wrong thing* but it gives me that happy feeling in my stomach again... anyway... I thought it was funny that the one thing I would ask for is a beach trip and he gave it to me... So I told him about it... and he gave me his own list of things he would do for his girl... which I thought was an awesome list...

Tell her I love as much as I can
Kiss as much as possible
Hold her in a strong embrace and be a strong man.
Wish she'd be mine forever and ever
Sing to her at any chance I get
When around her, try to be better.
Try not to make a fool of yourself when she is near
Make sure to take care of her
Make sure she has nothing to fear.
Get down on your knees and exclaim how you feel
Whisper sweet loving words in her ear.
Tell her your not always right but hope she'll love you still.

Which brings me to my next thought... I had decided to not deal with boys for a while... now I'm going deeper than I thought... *smiles* It feels really good with Ramses... I dont want to admit it... but even if he left now... I would hurt alot from it... I guess this comes back to the wanting to not care about people... My security has been invaded.... granted its a good invasion..... =^.^=...... but I shall still have to be careful.... at least for a bit.... He has his issues with A.... which are going to take a while to sort out... but Im going to stick with him unless he askes me to leave.... so hopefully it works out for the best
Sita
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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling,
what you feel is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you,
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Take My Hand- Dido

I think its safe to say Im over D'Hiur now... *wasnt quite sure due to desire to talk to the..... b..... b... boy lately*... *cough* yeah.... I dont know why I started the post that way.... Anyway.....
><
This is xXB!low_MeXx aka Ramses
I like Ramses
Even if he pretends to be a player... Con knows what Im talking about....

Ramses has... scratch that... had... T-T a little girl who shall be called A... Hes been looking after A since she was two months old and her mother left A with him to go off with another guy...*cough* witch *cough* A is two years now.... Le mother of A showed up in the past week and demanded a DNA test... the DNA test showed up today.... A isnt Ramses' girl.... see.. now... This bugs me... He has taken care of A for nearly two years by himself... He was told he was the father when she was born... Hes the person shes had as a parent... Now this woman just walks back in and messes it all up... *sighs and curls up in the corner* The most important thing in his life is A... Shes the reason hes doing so well... Last time I was this upset was when D'Hiur threatened to kill himself... it just seems so very wrong to do this to both Ramses and A... I've discussed it with Tiga.... She agrees with me that its BS... the whole issue just seems to be messed up... other elements are involved which makes it more difficult.... *sighs again* some times the system is messed... that makes me sad...
Sita
Note: To make things slightly odder on my front..... some one sent me flowers on gaia for being "lovable".... *shakes her head*... I think I need to fight with more people... and I have no clue who sent them to me... which makes me paranoid... cause someone thinks Im nice... and Im only nice to people I like... and I dont think it was Ramses who sent them.... =/
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I need a remedy of diesel and dust
Something I can taste whith a fix I can trust
Another high, more potent than lust.
Eating and repeating
like the workings of rust and time.
Remedy- Hot Water Music

hokay... its 1:30 in the morning.... I told Zappa I was going to write a story for my post tonight.... I have it planned out!! I just... kinda.... didnt.... feel very.... write-y after work... I kinda started having a conversation with a friend on gaia.... and... he kinda.... was cool and all that..... I GOT DISTRACTED BY SHINY THINGS!! His avatar was pretty... ^.^.... anyway... it was a good long talk... I enjoy talking to him..... I just hope he works out better than D'Hiur.... *ish still paranoid about boys and apparently talking like one of those people who lisp via typing* Anyway... its been a long day... I predict tomorrow will be long as I told my friend, Ty... the one whos been calling me alot lately... I told him he could call between when he called me last and till 1:30 tomorrow when I start work.. so hes going to call at some point tomorrow... Im predicting at about 5:30 in the morning... just cause I told him that if he did and he woke me up... I was going to be mad... so its almost a given hes going to call as early as he can.... in which case I might just ignore the phone for once.... *needs sleep or will go Zombie on his rear end*...

*nerve twitch* ... *sighs* I dont even see the point in hoping for anything... f*cking bullshit...
Sita
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Monday, January 30, 2006

When I look in your eyes there's no stopin' me
I want the Don Joey Crack on top of me
Don't want your stacks
Just break my back
Gonna cut you no slack
Cause I'm on it like that
Come on & put it on me
Whats Luv- Fat Joe ft Ashanti and Ja Rule

Zappa Wins!! Le question was Whats Luv? Commonly used as a replacment for L-O-V-E either for safety, insecurity, or to duck out of responsibiltiy.... you have to love the english language.... anyway.... you have to enjoy non-productive days... but I guess thats a lie... I talked to Afro quickly.... which was cool cause we've kinda been avoiding each other lately due to stuff... and makes the day productive.... *whispers* I slept most of the day.... went to bed at 4 in the morning after a phone call kept me up for a good 3 hours past the time I was going to go to sleep.... got woke up at 12 by a text message... decided it wasnt worth my time to respond and went back to sleep.... woke up again at 2 to the phone ringing again... same person and we talked for another good hour... just about stuff... but it still amuses me. So to shorten the rest of the day up... after I finished talking to him I got up and got dressed and all that fun stuff... got on the comp.... Saturday night I had talked to my one friend from back in high school.... she had been a bit intoxicated when she talked to me... and stuff.... So I decided to bug her when she popped up on MSN... I get a phone call after talking to her for about 10 minutes telling me to open the front door.... I want to point out.... after reviewing the day this far.... I should get rid of the damn phone..... anyway... Tiga and Stacie walk in and tell me I have 5 minutes to get ready to go out.... I want to point out they were lucky I was awake at this point... Ran around to get my stuff together.. ran out of the house in a bit of a rush... we went to eat and stuff... at one point I look in my purse-like thing (I hate calling it a purse cause it makes me sound female... its more like a small carry all thing)).... and realize I forgot my keys.... yeah.... I was not a happy Sita at that point... anyway... to end the night off we went to Tiga's place to watch movies and my room mate left the door open for me so I could get in at 1 in the morning.... and now its 3:30... Im a bit grumpy.... Mostly because I didnt get to talk to certain people today... Got to talk to him alot the other day though... till work called him in for stupid reasons... *grumbles*.... Anyway.... it was a moderatly interesting day off... I would have preferend more sleep and time to myself in all honesty.... But I guess its nice to know Im loved too.... I really want to go on a day trip somewhere right now.... Its to dead where Im at and I have an urge to just blow a bunch of money on stuff I dont really need but want... thats just me though.... anyway... bed time...
Sita

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

Everything breaks down
Do you accept what you are told
Without even thinking
Throw it all and make your own
Something To Believe In- Offspring

ok.. ok... I admit it... Im not good at the "I lack something to say" posts... So I suppose Ill start with this... Lets play a guessing game... Its like Jeopardy. I give you the answer.... You give me the question.
The word is defined as...
1) A casual way of saying you really like someone without freaking them out by saying I love you. Commonly used by people early on in relationships, where it is too soon to say I love you.

2) when followed by ya its a friendly version of love. when followed by you its the same as love.

3)what a guy says when he to afraid to make a commitment.

*snickers* I think that last one has to be the one I believe in the most at certain points... But the first one is nice to believe too.... Not hard... not hard at all...

Anyway... this is what I get for RPing on gaia for a good four hours.... I feel better... I've kinda been taking a break from thinking about the stuff that was really stressing me out.... besides work.. which shouldnt be so bad because JoAnn is going away for a few days on a business trip. Means I work more hours by myself.. but I also dont have to work with her.. which I think is a fair enough trade considering I dont mind working by myself. Other than that.... I think I've just hit the point of not caring again.... at least on certain topics.... *shrugs* I think its messing with my sleep patterns... Im happy I have today off.... I can chill and take a breather for a bit.... Have a good one all.... dont forget to question the answer
Sita
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Saturday, January 28, 2006

I told her I thought it was important,
That you could get lost in conversation.
Chattin shit, sittin in, oblivion
With that person who's your special one.
Could Well Be In- The Streets

Ehhhh.....



*insert interesting story/ complaint/ rant here*



Sita

Note: I think it might be like this for a while... sad to say....
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Friday, January 27, 2006

Well it winds up
Broken up
Really such a shame
But why not
Take a chance
Everything's a game
And it don't stop
Hit That- Offspring

Ehhhhhh... Im trying to think of anything I can talk about that doesnt involve some form of complaining... I really cant think of anything. Like they always say.... When you hit the bottom the only way to go is up. I'm pretty sure Im not at the bottom cause things could be worse... and I really think its just a matter of a bunch of bad stuff all waited to happen at one time again. So.... I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens... *is watching the music channel again*.... I.... No comment... *goes to bash her head against the wall for a while*
Sita
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Thursday, January 26, 2006

You can have my isolation. You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith. You can have my everything
Help me you tear down my reason. Help me it's your sex I can smell
Help me you make me perfect. Help me become somebody else
Closer (clean original)- Nine Inch Nails

Random downloads= 50 Cent/ NIN remix.... very interesting... I need to aquire Closer to get the full effect of the mix I think. I'm ok but Im not all right. I made a new profile on the MyO for when I feel like this.... not going to say the name.... and Im not going to use it yet... But its kinda nice to have it there in case. I know I was talking to Con about it. Sometimes its nice to have a place where you can out right bitch and it doesnt look bad on you because people dont know its you saying it. *deep breath* I was thinking about using it then I decided against it. I kinda figure I'll get through my latest "issues" in my own time and people that try to stop or manage to get in the way of me feeling better *cough* Zan *cough*(The MyO Zan.... not to be confused with the delightfully cool Zanorich from gaia who usually gives me muffins or cookies) can go to hell. Which brings me to my next point of complaint... I wish I was religious enough to tell people to go to hell with conviction. I think today was "Ask Stupidly Obviously Answered Questions" Day... A few of my favorite "Can I purchase this fountain?" (( Sarcastic comment I wanted to make but didnt: No.... Its just there for you to look at..... the price tag and over abundance of the said fountain are not for sale. You have to look at the pile of them and weep for I will not let you buy ANY of them. Cause I dont want it to be lonely. And you look funny.... And ask dumb questions... And I dont like your shoes...)) *as customer looks at two almost identical products* ( They have differnt names... thats it...) "How are these different?" ((Sarcastic comment that I wanted to make after answering this question three times: One blows bubbles and the other blows things up when you point it the right way. Im not going to tell you which.... You have to figure that out yourself)) or the all time favorite... After I tell the customer they cant return the damn product because of hygenic reasons (such as the Sauna Belt.. if you've seen the comercial.. you know what Im talking about.... You sweat in the damn thing.... why would we let you return it?) "So can I return this if I dont like it?" (( No sarcastic comment possible.... I just want to run my head into the wall a few times over this one)) Anyway.... then I had the joy of just being stuck with the bitch work for most of the day... Heavy lifting and such...... I think I messed my arm up a bit.... so that makes me very unhappy.... *deep breaths* Its been a frustrating day... Anyway.... I used a gaia avatar maker to make little image-like representations of my "story" characters..... so... look at them.... love them... adore them.... I still have to make a few I think... maybe repost my story after I get them all done...

Scry

Hyper

Crowley

and thats all folks.... I think I've said enough for the day
Sita
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