Thursday, December 15, 2005

When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you
When I go out(When I go out), well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home(When I come home), yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door
I'm Gonna Be- The Proclaimers

ok.... so..... Heero kinda called it on the whole work situatiuon.... things did work out... Stacie handed in her resignation today..... So.... that solves one problem.... and opens up like.... three new ones *eye twitch*.... Im the only one that knows how to run the comp and crap.... so..... YAY for being the only one who knows how to run the damn store... *glares at the store then looks at a pack of matches and a bottle of lighter fluid grining slightly* anyway... she... meaning Stacie... gave me crap when I came back from my break because she wanted to go home.... I told her she was a team killing f*cktard and if I was going to get shafted with runnning the whole store by myself right before Christmas.... I was going to take a full bloody half hour to eat my damn supper... She seems to think its funny the situation Im left in.... I seem to think its funny my brain is slowly turning into mush due to lack of sleep... and the fact I cant really remember what happened for the last half of my shift... and the chances I might just freak out at one point and start crying in the back room.... anyway.... I got to talk to an old friend..... Even Im amazed at my inabilitly to hold grudges at this point..... But I missed him.... and talking to him made me feel better.... now.... even though I should sleep.... Im gonna go eat some candified sugar and watch Red VS Blue..... and hopefully fall asleep on the chair.... ciao all
Sita
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know
Best to keep things in the shallow end
Cause I never quite learned how to swim
Blue- A Perfect Circle

Ok.... I was gonna post the post I wrote for yesterday's post... but... meh... Things have been spur of the moment busy.... I think there was about three days where I just ended up crashing anywhere I could find a spot to sleep... last night was the first time in my bed in three days.... and... well... I just really like my bed... anyway.... I'll get some sleep over the next few nights and be fine... so no need to worry over my lack of Zzz's... The only issue with not getting sleep is I get really moody and prone to getting depressed... mostly because the more tired I get the more likely I am to be unable to sleep and the more unlikely I am to fall asleep.... the more likely I am to start to think about crap. I miss D'Hiur... To add to the stress I've been having some really weird dreams.... which contributes to lack of rest..... then I think I might need to eat something substantial in the next few days because I've been getting dizzy spells and just general inabilitly to focus..... THEN... Things at work have been going all..... changed.... again... with the new manager, everything is changing again.... Stacie keeps getting on my nerves... with the sleeping in the back room and leaving early/still getting paid for not being there thing... then on top of it all she was complaining about having to work all morning shifts.... It didnt take as much will-power as expected to keep from telling her to shut the F*ck up.... she writes the scheduals up.... she has a fair amount of power over when she works considering the manager is suppose to be writing up the schedual... not the workers. I think the main reason why it ticks me off so much is the fact that I'm slightly forced to work all my hours, considering I'm the only one on for the last half of my shift everyday... its not like I can duck out an hour early cause I cant see straight.... I dont have a house to go to that has a well stocked fridge..... I dont have large amounts of freedom with my paycheck.... one paycheck a month goes to rent.... her biggest required expense is a $200 laptop payment... and It seems like she has more to complain about... maybe its because I've just quit caring.... or maybe its because I bottle it all up and just not bother to share the large part of the stress in my life.... She keeps bugging me to get a place to share.... I have difficulty doing it.... but I keep saying no.... *sigh* and she still doesnt drop it.... On the bright side.... I brought up the whole sleeping in the backroom thing up with the new manager... She seems fairly observant and mentioned it seemed like Stacie does less work and shes kinda on the fence for her whole... "being employed with the company"..... Im not sure how I feel about knowing that information.... Stacie is a friend.... but freaking hard to work with.... I dont want to say anything bad... but Im not going to lie either.... at least not at this point.... Maybe Im just making everything more stressful for myself than I need to.... I tend to do that.... I really did just want to quit today.... just to get out of the situation Im in right now... the new manager knows very little.... So Im still close to running the store to a certain point.... Stacie does all the paperwork crap.... so.... If it comes to naming an assistant manager she can have it by all means... I dont do paperwork... I work with customers and stock shelves... I may hate what I do..... But Im pretty good at it..... Its just a matter of ignoring the right people..... anyway...... enough venting.... I was asked to do aniother commision on Gaia.... so I thought I would let you all see what I did


Original


Edit

and for the hell of it.... some sigs I made

For myself


For my friend Living_Will.... the guy I keep getting in fights with that I adore..... hes freaking brilliant...

Anyway.... I need to rest and think some more... have a good one all.... Ill let you know when I hit that dead point
Sita
P.S.
Hero cookies for all who got to the bottom of the post.... thankies for listening to me vent, guys
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead
The Noose- A Perfect Circle

I expect Ill be dead in a few days... from lack of sleep.... will post loooooooong explanation later.... meaning next post.... If you got anything important to say to me... use the PMs... I doubt Ill get to many sites in the next little bit... have a good one all...
Sita
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Sunday, December 11, 2005

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin, it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
F.U.R.B- Frankee

Ok.. .my fucking computer went and wiped my whole post... which I worked on for a good 15 minutes... so heres the short version...."Can’t very well be friends with someone you have no contact with, right?!"- Con.. the fucking best Canadain around... thats to you Heero if you even bothered to stick around for more that a day... which to be honest.. I doubt you did.

Work sucks cause I got screwed over.... cleaned up an entier shipment and helped customers by myself for a good two hours because the other girl that was suppose to be working was sleeping in the back room... so... Ive decided enough of that shit... I can get paid better somewhere else and not have to put up with that kind of crap... new years starts with a new job... hopefully one I enjoy... though I doubt it... I need to go back to school to do what I really want... anyway... f-ing comp.... .it was a nice bitter post too...lots of "fucks" and "bullshits"... ciao all
Sita
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Saturday, December 10, 2005

Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Count their bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pet-A Perfect Circle

*is thinking "fuck you" has never been a more appropriate term*....... *fake grin* hows it going, all? right.... so... anyway.... *pushes away thoughts of various way to casterate males* (no offence to any guys that I have no "issues" with... you know who you are... and if your not sure..... duck and cover)

right..... uhhhhh... sorry... *shakes head* issues with stuff and people and I have this very violent urge that just developed like.... ten minutes ago. so... I went to work... on my day off... got jumped by family..... so that was fun *sarcastic tone* ummm.... went out to the bar and.... the bar loving, social drunk just kinda died at one point.... so I left the bar bored and kinda depressed..... thinking about D'Hiur.... and.... stuff...... anyway.... I have Pet by A Perfect Circle on repeat and its making me.... penned up on a level where I need to argue with someone..... Only particular people..... but thats not the point.... Im gonna redo my site in the next few days.... though Im having issues with quite how.... I want a really different look..... but thats hard to do once your in a rut.... anyway... I need to wash my face and get some sleep... Maybe the whole night will have been a sad, boring dream....
Sita
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Friday, December 9, 2005

Even the faithful can falter
But I want you now
That's why I'm kneeling at your alter
Cause I want you now
Don't loose the feel of understanding
Honey I don't see no cause for warning
I've been a fool in all my glory
That's why I've called to say I'm sorry
And I want you now
I want you now- Big Sugar

first off..... HAHAHAHAHAHA... you cant shut off the music... unless you turn down your speakers.... which... well... have fun with that... Im gonna change the song eventually some time tonight... I need to find a new one... anyway... I'm kinda happy again.. I dont quite feel like I want to die... so that is a wonderful wonderful change in mood... I talked to Afro on the phone for about three hours in the wee early hours of the morning... so that just made me happy... made me tired for work too... but the happy over-rode the tired... anyway.... tomorrow is my one and only day off this week... Yay!! so... Instead of sleeping in and laying around the house like I prolly should do to give my feet time to recover... Im going to go Christmas "viewing" (at least in my case) with Tiga and Dory... which.... that should be interesting... help me price out all my purchases... other than that... Im kinda on a Big Sugar kick... (band from Canada... prolly completly unknown except for Con and myself).... which is a little sad cause while I own a CD I only like.... three or four songs.... but I compleltly forgot about the one song which I love to no end... (kinda stupid how I forgot it yet love it, eh?)anyway... ehh..... I think not much else is new.... I found a new friend on Gaia... we both absoultly love Neil Gaiman and like to use "your mom" jokes when we lack anything better to say... that and he had this bad habit of comming on to me for no apparent reason besides for the lack of anything to do... good times... good times... anyway... Im sleepy... and only so much time to sleep....
Sita

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Thursday, December 8, 2005

Sometimes I stare at the wall when I'm all alone in my room,
I'm an abusive, reclusive like DR Doom
Parts of darkness, consend and consume me,
you won't believe the gloomy thoughts that run through me
Paranoia- Swollen Members

welp... sadly Im back.... I mean... YAY I'm alive!! *holds up white flag* spent the night at Dory's house playing Risk... which I have never played in my life prior to the other night.... I did pretty good too... considering most of my moves were based on split second moves.... I like to work on the chaos theory... If I dont actually have any order to what Im doing... they cant predict what Im going to do... It worked pretty well considering I was willing to play the game out till the end while Dory decided to call a truce to end it... I beat Tiga... anyway.... other that that I think Ive hit another.... not.... so... happy... mood... Everything is just making me tired and unhappy... Im no longer the manager of good old corporate heaven... they hired a new manager pretty damn quick.... so... what ever... one less thing for me to stress over.... even though that means its up to two people to train three... Tiga, Thanh and the new manager will all need to be trained.... two weeks before Christmas none the less... I think I picked the perfect time to decide I dont care about anything... Ive pretty much decided to boycott all of christmas except for the whole gift giving thing... so... yay for free stuff... I need to get my shopping done pretty damn soon too.... I need to send out at least one gift that needs to go across the country.... which... well... lets admit it... its not getting there before chistmas... *sigh*... yep.... happy bloody holidays.... Im going to sleep for a while...
Sita
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Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Relieved of all the pain
You let me see again
Delivered from my shame now
And I’m lost for what to say
Cleansed and pure and weak
I suffer when I dream
I need to find a purpose
Need to feel you needing me
Take Me Away- Seether

Oh god I cant feel my feet... wait.... wait........... waaaaaait....... ok.... I can feel my feet.... just not my toes........ f*ck.... anyway.... sorry Howee.... I think hell may have froze over... at least the one in Saskatchewan...... and you may have thought the tallest killed me... but Im better now..... *curses at random objects* well..... "better" for a lack of a better term... blagh... I saw two movies today.... Serentiy.... which was just as cool as the show its based off, Firefly.... and Aeon Flux... which was freaking awesome.... its a live remake of an anime... which I have yet to see..... but it was great... there were a few moves in there that I wasnt sure about.... but.. meh.... shiney objects and big explosions tend to kill the rational thought process that goes on in my head.... anyway.... Im starting to regain feeling in my toes now.... so that can only mean one thing..... time for me to go to bed...... Have a good one all (copywrite Howee).... Im kinda lacking a whole lot to say right now.... cause as per usual... its all the same shit.... just a different time.....
Sita
P.S though he is a rather private individual.... I want to say happy birthday to Afro Jones.... HAHA... your old now.... loves ya lots Fro ^.^


Govermental Update
UN Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:Below Average
Economy: Good
Political Freedoms:Rare

Citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, the government seizes all major gold finds, and local executives are seen on the corner with cardboard signs reading "will oppress the masses for food". Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.

SitaRose is ranked 3381st in the region and 67,792nd in the world for Highest Police Ratios.

Personal Note: I always thought Big Brother was onto something....
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Monday, December 5, 2005

Why can you read me like no one else?
I hide behind these words
But I'm coming out
I wish I kept them behind my tongue
It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love- Fall Out Boy

TARFUN so I'm FUBAR
Sita
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Sunday, December 4, 2005

Some times you make decisions that are for the best... and no matter what... It still feels like a mistake.
Sita
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