Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I feel much better today.... Venting is good..... sleep is better.... enough said about that.... ok... I still have stuff to show from the bloody con.... but I kinda have neglected to transfer the files to this computer.... so it will happen eventually... other than that... nothing ever happens to me anymore.... I've made a few new wallpapers... other than that I've been wasting alot of time on Gaia.... I got fox ears..... well... they were given to me as a gift... which was really sweet considering the person was asking me how close I was to buying them as he sent them to me.... so I was angry he spent so much money.... but they look good and I paid him back.... so woooooo!!! other than that... all my role play partners are dissapearing!!! I think its a curse... all their computers are tweeking out.... which is very bad...... veeeeeerrrrrrry bad.... I think I might move out East.... all most all my friends live in the eastern states and Canada.... but I wont leave just let.... I must rain some DOOM down upon these Filthy Human Worm Babies... Note... to much Invader Zim.... and its time for bed..... night all.. and thanks for listening yesterday
Sita
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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

ok..... yes... i realize its like.... 3 in the morning as I post this..... but.... uhhhh.. actually.... yeah... HOWS EVERYONE DOING?!?! Note to self: You suck at getting your thoughts together..... *deep breath* welps... I turn 19 in a month... im starting to get nervous.... way I saw it when I was 17... Im going to die at age 20.... which means that this might be my last year.... hell... today could be my last day.... I had a scary minute yesterday... nearly blacked out..... I've never blacked out or fainted before.... Kinda scared me..... even as I type I'm not really feeling all that great.... light headedness is not good..... Actually.... Im kinda just writing to avoid doing something stupid... see... ok.... I've had a really really bad falling out with someone that I thought was a friend..... His choice to go.... "I-hath-not-remembered-thy-name-thy-simpleton-wench" so.... screw that... Im not bitter.. not one bitter little bit.... *censored grumbling*... and I thought I was more or less over it... I really did.... then I started talking to a friend from Gaia.... hes a newer friend but I'm pretty trusting (a bad flaw but meh).... and I told him the basic story... and now thats pulling up all the bitter feelings and such... *deep breath*... this past year has been a bitch... plain and simple... I've cryed more over boys in the last 8 months than i had in the past 18 years... I've changed so drastically that even I notice the change.... I've made some of the best friends I can possibly have... and I've met a few people my life would have been much better with out.... experienced college.. realized I dont really want to work in a lab for the rest of my life but I dont really know what else I want to do.... so I've decided that college is a waste of time for now... even though I'll miss the actual schedual and order to it.... and the general hanging out with semi-intellegent people... I've found out I have a slight if almost nonexistant knack for writing.... Some people like it so that makes it a sucess in my mind even though I'm not sure if maybe they're just trying to be supportive cause they're friends.... Developed my graphic art skills to something that they would have never become with the art teacher I had... Ok.... I'm just babbling now... Theres one paticular person I would do anything to talk to right now... and I'm scared... I'm just a little depressed right now.... It doesnt really show on the outside cause I'm getting to be a pretty damn good actor... Just I'm starting to hit a wall... sorry for venting.... its been a long time since I've done one of these posts... and I dont really feel better... but I guess it better explains why I havent been here..... If that matters to anyone of course... I'm pretty sure it doesnt.... but meh.... I think I'll shut up now.... its 3:30 now..... half an hour of venting.... that has to be good on one level right? anyway.... ill leave you with this....

and have a good one all....
Sita
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Sunday, August 14, 2005

well which would you prefer
My finger on the trigger, or
Me face down, down across your floor
Well just so long as this thing's loaded
Cute without the E - Taking back Sunday

Hey all... look... I'm still breathing... *deep breath* thanks for the kind words.... Its not really something that needs to go away rather than something that went away... but oh well *shrugs* I'll move on I suppose... It just really bothers me when I lose some one thats really close to me.... anyway... Other than that I'm still breathing.... I was talking with Afro last night and we were having a more.... random conversation than usual.... just a little sampler that I thought was pretty damn funny....

Afro Jones says:
me and God are going to have a long...arguous battle over this one...
Sita says:
i hope he kicks you
Afro Jones says:
if it makes me feel better than he better
Sita says:
lol
Sita says:
i dunno.... if i were god it would be a good swift kick in the ass... and it might hurt
Sita says:
im not sure if he still wears those pointy elf shoes or not
Afro Jones says:
I'd blame you for not kicking me earlier
Sita says:
i was suppose to kick you?
Afro Jones says:
If you was God but I strongley doubt you are
Sita says:
*smack*
Afro Jones says:
what!?
Sita says:
I RULE ALL!!!! GARRRRRRRRRRR!! *rampages through downtown tokyo*
Afro Jones says:
You add Zilla to God and thats who you are? (Shrugs)
Sita says:
lol
Sita says:
i didnt notice that till you pointed it out actually

yeah... I'm just that quick... but this was at four in the morning... so... I guess thats a pretty good excuse... anyway... Im going to shut up now and go be an unproductive member of society.. have a good one all
Sita
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Friday, August 12, 2005

When it comes to being true
At least true to me
One thing I've found
One thing I've found
Oh no-you never let me down
Never Let You Down- Kanye West featuring Jay-Z & Saul Williams

Just postin to let you know that I do still live.... some stuff has been happening lately... and i just havent had the will to post here that much... hope your all doin good and just chill eh? see ya all later...
Sita
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Monday, August 8, 2005

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget
Hotel Califonia- Eagles

just postin to let ya all know im back... that and force of habit... ill talk about the con tomorrow... but ill crush hopes now... kinda sorta forgot the camera... *sigh* so no pics... but i do have some show and tell... so ya know... come back soon ya hear? *shakes head* to much... something.... see ya all later
Sita
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Friday, August 5, 2005

came upon my crossroads yesterday,
I met her on a ship just west of eyeball bay,
We ate fish and we listened to some old time rock n
roll,
She said "You can call me baby if you'll let me hold
your soul,
But it's because she's wonderful the guys they look
her way
Some Kinda Wonderful- Sky

well my fellow MyOers.... i fear this shall be my last post for a bit.... "Why?!?!?" you may ask.... and it is with a heavy heart that i admit the tragic news..... IM GOIN TO A CON!!! ^__________^ thats the biggest news i got.... im going to the big city... so excited.... anyway..... i think im gonna end it here cause you really dont care that i cleaned my room today.... just one last thing to say....
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PRETTY EYES!!
sorry.... only one person is going to get that..... have a good weekend all.... ill be thinking about you.... and hopefully.. if were all lucky.... i might even have some pics from the con.... nothing of me obviously.... but hopefully some pics all the same...
Sita
Comments (14) | Permalink

Thursday, August 4, 2005

It's been a week without me
and she feel weak without me
She wanna talk it out but
Ain't nothin' to talk about
'Lest, she talkin' about freakin' out
then maybe we can work it out
Workout Plan- Kanye West

Bwuhahahahaha!!!! *cough* I’m ok… well not really… am I ever ok? *thinks* Nope! Bwuhahahahahaha!!! *cough*… meh… ok… so I didn’t really take any of your advice… I’m prone to not listen when I have other things I would prefer to do… like stay up late!!! Ok so I wasn’t up that late… that’s a lie… I was up late… but I wasn’t up late in front of the computer all night… see… ok Jaxx had to leave around 1:30ish… so I decided I would give myself a time limit of going to bed at 2… so 2 rolled around at I actually listened to myself and went up to my room... at 2… then I got ready for bed… looked at a drawing I’ve been half a**ed working on for the past two weeks… just barely had the line art done… and I had planed on coloring it… maybe… so I sat down and looked at it and looked at my pencil and my little blender thingy and my eraser… and then back at the picture and I was thinking… I’m just going to make some minor adjustments… so I picked up the sketchbook… sat down on my bed… and proceeded to pretty much finish the picture in graphite… in order to understand where this is going you have to understand… I DETEST GRAPHITE SHADING… I hate it… I love pencil… prefer to write in pencil… but I hate shading with it… and I don’t think I’m particularly good at it… so about half way through shading the hair I realize what I’m doing and I realize its getting close to 3 in the morning and I look down at the picture… kinda shrug my shoulders and get back to work on it… I think I finally went to sleep at 4… I think I was finished at about 3:30 with the picture… but I think I’ve developed slight insomnia… I don’t think that’s good… but I think the picture came out alright… at least for something I kinda started using another picture as a reference then I just decided to say screw it and did it my way… anyway… tell me what you think… I might submit it as fan art… and I might not… the scanner kinda ate part of the picture… but I think it’s still a pretty good scan…

on a completely different topic… just for the hell of it I thought I would show you a pic of my gaia avi… before I gave her a hair cut….and after I gave her a hair cut… damn haircut… bloody expensive…

But she’s cute eh? Its cool cause you can change the clothing on your avi and stuff… like dress up dolls… I hated dolls when I was little… I preferred my little pony… before they Barbie-ized it…. with all the needless accessories… I can understand buying a barn and hair-clipy things and stuff like that… but why the hell does a pony need a scooter…

Seriously… that’s what the hooves are for… and I’ve known enough horses to know that their heads are pretty damn tough… they don’t need helmets… trust me…*shakes head* how the hell did I get onto my little pony… *reads post* oh… yeah… that… anyway… I’m done… have a good one all…
Sita
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

(It might seem) It seems like I’m in love
(Big mistake) But that’s a big mistake
(I’ll just hang) Just hanging for a while
(Like your smile) I guess I like your smile
(Hear again) December’s hear again
(Should I go?) I’ll leave just tell me when
(When O when) I won’t feel no pain
But let me love you once again


Now I would jump into this thing with no frequency
I did, I always thought that me and she could be free
And I see, it’s not as easy as I once believed
The more I look at the alternative the harder to leave

(No more) No more looking in your eyes
(Before) No more staring at the sky
(It was cool) I only asked if I could stay
(No rules) From December until May

No more counting down the days
No more drifting into space
We’re just living for today
(Aint it cool to feel this way)

We connected, we made an agreement
No strings attached we were keeping it even
It was like take it or leave it let’s be casual
Then we got lost in time it was magical
But I’m not ready for this settling down talk again
A cat needs his space, you’re trynna box me in
I need oxygen, let me get back in and do my thing
This was only supposed to be from winter to spring
I think it’s time for us to end
This what you call falling in love, I call it more than friendship
God makes feelings, but I’ll be alright
I’m out the door but let me stay just one more night
Once Again- Moka Only Ft Mad Child

My head hurts… ok so I just finished a 100 question thinger thing on gaia… yeah… that’s a really good excuse to have a hurting head… you may notice I changed the site again… I was bored… I might put Oh! My Goddess up again or I might not… I’m not really sure… and my chat box was tweekin out so I think I might get a new one of them… other than that… uhhhh… check out my new wallpapers… I did an X one that I thought was pretty decent… course I like the new one here the best… thought it looked cool… anyway… im gonna go now cause I got a serious head ache building up and that cant be good… have a good one all
Sita
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Monday, August 1, 2005

I'm two quarters and a heart down
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds
These words are all I have so I'll write them
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me a little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress love
Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy

Ok… so the day started out just weird… had a dream that involved the Yu Gi Oh cast, playground equipment, a party and a bit of yaoi involving Seto and Malik and me getting involved and just woooooo… like I said… weird dream… prolly best to avoid detail… so then I woke up out of the weirdness of it all and sat down to write a poem half asleep still… that was fun to… considering its how I feel about a certain… person… and I just want to kick them really hard right now… and I really need to calm down… anyway… the day just kinda went down hill from there… went to hang out with Tiga for a bit and most of the conversations revolved around her displeasure with pants… which ended up resulting in her changing my msn name with out me noticing and then there was a whole issue with Con… long story short I quite like pants and I wear them regardless of what my msn name says… that and for some reason I have a couple of things scribbled on my arms… most listing things I seem to love/like… I wasn’t aware I loved any one named Dick but that’s what my arm says so it must be true… *sigh* I think I’m gonna have a shower… stupid permanent marker… she’ll get hers at the con… I think were gonna go party the night before… never said it was a smart idea… and then maybe… just maybe she’ll pass-out and I can play with the markers… but that’s just my theory… time for bed.. see ya all later
Sita
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

I'm so sick and I'm so tired
Of these clubs, I keep crying
Every night, I wipe my eyes
Cause these years pass me by
I give up, I'm all in
My whole life is full of sin
This road is a dead end
I wanna live again
Live Again- Ying Yang Twins ft Adam Levine of Maroon 5

Ok… so the day wasn’t a complete waste!! Quick over-view cause I got a story for you all so I’ll try not to babble too much. When to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… needless to say I now have a ton of jokes that only I will get… I’m sorry…. I was having a flash back. Anyway… and what else… uhhh… not much… oompa loompas in dance troupes are hilarious… and I seem to want a squirrel… though I missed the old version with Gene Wilder (sp?)…. I think I will always love that version… there was just something about all the clashy colors… and lack of destructive pyrotechnics on poor defenseless *cough*… no need to ruin the movie… anyway… this is a collaboration of a bunch of little “dream sequences” that I had in a role play I’m in on Gaia… uhhhhhh… Jaxx said it was good so I pulled it all together for you viewing *ehem* pleasure if that’s what you want to call it…. let me know what you think… my character in the RP is named Sita to… go figure… so that’s why she’s the main character here… uhhhhhh… just go with it more or less… some things might not make complete sense with out back story from the rp… but meh…

Sita walked the streets looking down alleyways and passing deserted vehicles. The city seemed completely empty. She called out for anyone to answer her but all she could feel was the emptiness. The buildings suddenly stopped and she found herself walking into a courtyard. Beyond the courtyard was a decorate building, the front columns were covered with ivy and the front door lay slightly open. She crossed the courtyard and walked around the ornate flowerbeds and fountains. She stopped at one point to look at a flower. She couldn't remember the name though she knew it lied just beyond her memory and she felt slightly annoyed with herself, unable to remember. She looked up from the flower quickly, thinking she had heard someone call her name. She turned to faced the building. "Who's there?"... she felt a slight draw to the building though she was afraid. She looked back to the city and saw the streets fill with twisted shadows that slowly advanced on her. With nowhere else to go she walked quickly to the building and slipped inside closing the door behind her. " Is any one here?" She leaned against the door for a moment and listened quietly. She heard a sound coming from a room to her left and she left the door and slowly made her way to the room. She walked though the doorway and entered a room filled with shelves of books. She wandered down the main corridor and looked down each aisle in awe. She finally came to the end of the main corridor and saw a small man on a ladder. She walked over to him and stood beside the ladder quietly "Lets see..." he looked at her for a moment and then back to the books running his fingers over the spines of the books. " Sita.... SSSSSita..... I know it’s around here..." he pulled the ladder a few feet along the bookcase. "Sita...... ahhhh here it is!!" He pulled down a small book bound in red leather and flipped to the last page. " Oh my... that’s not good at all..." He looked at her again and shook his head. " Not good at all..." She looked at the little man and then looked over the shelves of books. "Who are you?" The little man looked back at her then shaking his head he went back to the book "So few repentances... so many sins... tsk tsk..." he shook his head again and looked at her with sad eyes. " Sita you have chosen your path... but I'm afraid we just cant afford to fund those wings of yours.... we will have to take them back." She looked at him in confusion and reached back to feel the feathers of her wings. Her hand grasped only air and she lets out a small gasp and looked back to see her wings are gone. She felt the shock pass over her body and mind and she stared at the empty air, her face completely blank. "But....." The man gave her a sad smile and climbed down the ladder. He handed her the book and slowly walked past her shaking his head. "So sad... and she was such a good girl" She stood looking down at the book running her hands over the blood red cover then she quickly flipped the book open. She flipped through the book seeing pages covered in numbers and odd symbols. She finally reached the back of the book and on the last page she saw one word scribbled in black ink. Purgatory. She dropped the book as she read the word and took a step back. A small whisper escaped her mouth and she took another step back. "No..." Staring at the book on the floor she took another step back as blood seemed to seep out of the cover. She turned quickly and started to run back to the main corridor. She skid to a stop and looked back to the main door. She started to run toward the door then started to slow as mists of light slowly begin to curl out of the alleyways between the bookshelves. She looked back from where she had just run and let out a small gasp as masses of shadows began to surge toward her. She looked between the two opposing forces and started to curl her body together pulling her arms close and curling up slightly. As the mists of light and shadow gathered around her she let out a scream. She felt her body cooling and burning at the same time then all she saw and felt was darkness.

THE END!!! *cough* let me know… I know I haven’t written in a long time so… *shrugs* I guess I did it for a change of pace… anyway… enough reading for all of you… have a good one all
Sita

Quick Note: Just wanted to thank all who have looked at/ downloaded any of my wallpapers… I hit 5000 downloads yesterday… which is more than I ever thought would happed when I submitted the first one… thank you all very much…

other note: I noticed some people said my text was to small and i have noticed that on some computers that the text is really small (SO FREAKING TINY!!!)... it looks fine on my comp but meh... so i adjusted the text size... let me know if its better worse or no different... geeze... its liek a trip to the eye doctors all over again...

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