Monday, March 21, 2005

   When I’m not numb I feel the greatest sense of sorrow that I have yet to feel
Ok so I’m listening to Wind by Akeboshi aka the first Naruto Ending… I don’t know why but I really like that song… I think it’s the melody… any way.. no story today.. I feel like crap. K so I don’t se any harm in spelling it out… I met this guy who I really liked.. but you see I’m not really sure how he feels about me. hes not really sure either i think... So I like to make life difficult for both of us and ask him questions he cant really answer… I mean really hard questions… questions that I wouldn’t normally ask of a person. And of course when I get the answer I don’t like I get a little pissy… right now I’m just numb though… I don’t want to lose him because he’s a really good friend but im not sure how to tell him how much it hurts. It’s funny because he’s really helped to change my life after the last little while I’ve known him. Normally I’d prolly be avoiding everything altogether... he just doesn’t realize that… but I think I might give him to much credit sometimes… oh well he keeps telling me things will work out so I’m going to trust him on that… anyway……. That’s why I’ve been so up and down lately… among other things… schools starting to piss me off to… but its all good ^.^; feel better every hour… just need to talk to him I guess…hmmmmm…. Any way enough about my depressing pointless boring life… damn it that’s the second time I’ve deleted a guestbook entry by mistake… grrrr… starting to get mad at myself again…crap.. and I missed the name…(slaps forehead) god I’m gonna look like an a**… oh well… im sure they will come back eventually…(sigh) and down the damn hill of life I go…
Sita
Addition: I was talking to Blue eyes tonight on msn… we had a good old time… though I think she and snake should get a room... lol.. I know me and Crowley did… ok well she’s prolly the only one who will get that joke... but I feel better now…
heres the lyrics to Wind cause I cant find an mp3…

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

(Repeats)

You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing.

You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

(Repeats)
despite the crappy mood… I still love this music video… warning watching when extremely tired my cause seizures…

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com
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