Thursday, October 20, 2005

No, I don't guess
I don't sacrifice
And I know
I don't realize
Just how much
I can idolize ... and I know
And then I find it falls back on
On to me, to see, believe
And down onto you, We do, it's true
And I won't beg to stay, to leave, or to believe
A word you say, and then I guess
It all falls back on you
Falls Back On- Nickleback

Ok... so.. I have decided that me and Howee have some weird brain connection thingy.... first it use to be he would just pop up and comment when I felt bad... now he just showes up on msn... so I had a good talk with Howee... hes got this ability to make me think about things from the big picture... which.... In all honsety.... I dont think I do enough... so anyway... Im kinda at peace right now and not wanting to actually kill people anymore... In fact..... I managed to talk to him *note: not howee anymore... the other him... the one that I was pissed at and wanted to kill*..... and say I wasnt going to fight anymore..... which... for a person like me.... is not to bad... but then again... i have those weird mood swing thingers... its kinda like that other night when I was playing pool with the tequila shots... There was the one side that was like "LOSE YOU IDIOT!!! ITS GOING TO MAKE YOU PUKE!!" and the other side that was like "You have to beat Batman... hes asking for it.... WE MUST BE VICTORIOUS!!" So... for the last... 7 days or so... *creepy voice on the other end of the phone* 7 days.... *cough* the whole... "WE MUST BE VICTORIOUS!!" side was kinda driving the crotch-rocket... so then... finally.... the slightly more sane... more self concerned part of the brain took over... and i guess I just realized there isnt a point in fighting a fight Im not going to win... that or I just miss talking civil to the boy... Its pretty damn stressful when you have to hold back all these curses and nasty comments and try to talk civil... much easier if you just say them out loud as you write something different XD... ANYWAY!!! Im being a nice girl thanks to Howee in some weird way... and the moral of the story is condoms make life much less crowded.... I would like to point out... I read afro's post.... which had to do with doctors and condoms... and life has been weird... and... I never thought I would have to go condom shopping before I got a bf of my own and how the hell did I get on the topic of condoms again?.... *thinks back* Oh yeah..... never mind.... DONT DRINK AND DRIVE!! *coughs and mumbles something about poptarts* anyway.... I love how I was able to relate my emotional issues to drinking... that my friends is talent... and not a good talent like cracking walnuts on your head.... a bad talent.... like.... juggling chainsaws and torches with one hand... it just should not be done.... unless.. you know..... Its a choice between that and watching three hours worth of hamtaro... then I hope you can learn to juggle quick... cause god help your sanity... anyway.. I think this post has been sufficently random enough to confuse a few people... have a good one ladies and gents
Sita
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