Wednesday, November 16, 2005

You can sleep forever, but still you will be tired
You can stay as cold as stone, but still you won't find peace
With you I feel I'm the meek leading the blind
With you I feel I'm just spending wasted time
One Step To Far- Dido

Ok... so..... screw it all in the end... I was feeling depressed to begin with today... found out a few of my friends were worse off than me... which just made me all the more depressed.... I finally got to talk to D'Hiur a bit... both been busy.... so we havent talked much lately... so talking to him made me feel better... I think were going to try to get on MSN at the same time sometime and hes going to help me with a new theme... hes got all of the really cool gothicy pics that I like... and I want to try a goth theme... I feel really gothic right now... Partly from the mood I've been in... I just really havent been happy.... I was talking to Myre... mutual friend of D'Hiur and Me... I have a theory its due to lack of faith in anything... I just was dicussing religion with him and going to church and stuff.... He goes once a week... I havent been inside a church since I was about 9 or 10... so 9 or 10 years ago.... not inculding one Christmas when I think my dad went insane and dragged me and my sisters to church..... and a funeral.... anyway.... He was suggesting I try it out... I know even when I went to church I felt nothing... it was just chior and sunday school.... It kinda reminds me of the movie Dogma.... all about losing faith and stuff... anyway... In addition to my mood.... Im reading a collection of short stories by Neil Gaiman... Personally I find his style of writing kind of gothic themed.... He has to be my favorite author.... and Im going to stop myself before I go into a rant about his stuff... but anyway..... the book is called Smoke and Mirrors... its all about illusion and perception.... some of the stuff he writes leaves me going "Huh?"... mostly the poems.... but anyway... When I really like a book it sets my mood for a while afterwords... so I can kinda blame the book.... Im like... one story short of finishing it.... the second last story is called Murder Mysteries... all about the death of an angel before the universe was created... Im really likeing it... Then there was another story called Babycakes... Im pretty sure its based on The Modest Proposal by Johnnathan Swift (sp?).... all about eating babies and stuff... I read the story to Tiga and she got mad at me for laughing at it... All I could do was grin at her... maybe its just cause Im a bit twisted... but I found the idea funny... she got mad and started asking me if I would like to eat her god child... I had to laugh at that because A) the child has the same name as me... B) She kept giving me this glare.... this very evil.... "Im going to kill you now" glare.... Note: I dont actually believe in eating children.... I just think its funny people get worked up at the suggestion... anyway.... to sum the day up... I feel better after talking to D'Hiur..... not much better cause I still got stuff to think about.... but better all the same... I hope every one else is doing ok.... I havent really been getting to any sites at all lately... the one I visited today I couldnt think of anything to say so just did the cheap ass "..." comment..... I kinda felt bad after leaving that.....
Sita
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