Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know
Best to keep things in the shallow end
Cause I never quite learned how to swim
Blue- A Perfect Circle

Ok.... I was gonna post the post I wrote for yesterday's post... but... meh... Things have been spur of the moment busy.... I think there was about three days where I just ended up crashing anywhere I could find a spot to sleep... last night was the first time in my bed in three days.... and... well... I just really like my bed... anyway.... I'll get some sleep over the next few nights and be fine... so no need to worry over my lack of Zzz's... The only issue with not getting sleep is I get really moody and prone to getting depressed... mostly because the more tired I get the more likely I am to be unable to sleep and the more unlikely I am to fall asleep.... the more likely I am to start to think about crap. I miss D'Hiur... To add to the stress I've been having some really weird dreams.... which contributes to lack of rest..... then I think I might need to eat something substantial in the next few days because I've been getting dizzy spells and just general inabilitly to focus..... THEN... Things at work have been going all..... changed.... again... with the new manager, everything is changing again.... Stacie keeps getting on my nerves... with the sleeping in the back room and leaving early/still getting paid for not being there thing... then on top of it all she was complaining about having to work all morning shifts.... It didnt take as much will-power as expected to keep from telling her to shut the F*ck up.... she writes the scheduals up.... she has a fair amount of power over when she works considering the manager is suppose to be writing up the schedual... not the workers. I think the main reason why it ticks me off so much is the fact that I'm slightly forced to work all my hours, considering I'm the only one on for the last half of my shift everyday... its not like I can duck out an hour early cause I cant see straight.... I dont have a house to go to that has a well stocked fridge..... I dont have large amounts of freedom with my paycheck.... one paycheck a month goes to rent.... her biggest required expense is a $200 laptop payment... and It seems like she has more to complain about... maybe its because I've just quit caring.... or maybe its because I bottle it all up and just not bother to share the large part of the stress in my life.... She keeps bugging me to get a place to share.... I have difficulty doing it.... but I keep saying no.... *sigh* and she still doesnt drop it.... On the bright side.... I brought up the whole sleeping in the backroom thing up with the new manager... She seems fairly observant and mentioned it seemed like Stacie does less work and shes kinda on the fence for her whole... "being employed with the company"..... Im not sure how I feel about knowing that information.... Stacie is a friend.... but freaking hard to work with.... I dont want to say anything bad... but Im not going to lie either.... at least not at this point.... Maybe Im just making everything more stressful for myself than I need to.... I tend to do that.... I really did just want to quit today.... just to get out of the situation Im in right now... the new manager knows very little.... So Im still close to running the store to a certain point.... Stacie does all the paperwork crap.... so.... If it comes to naming an assistant manager she can have it by all means... I dont do paperwork... I work with customers and stock shelves... I may hate what I do..... But Im pretty good at it..... Its just a matter of ignoring the right people..... anyway...... enough venting.... I was asked to do aniother commision on Gaia.... so I thought I would let you all see what I did


Original


Edit

and for the hell of it.... some sigs I made

For myself


For my friend Living_Will.... the guy I keep getting in fights with that I adore..... hes freaking brilliant...

Anyway.... I need to rest and think some more... have a good one all.... Ill let you know when I hit that dead point
Sita
P.S.
Hero cookies for all who got to the bottom of the post.... thankies for listening to me vent, guys
Comments (4)