Tuesday, January 17, 2006

There's better ways to let me know
Leave a message, slip a note
In a place I'll never find
Should be careful of what you say
Could all catch up to you someday
Ignore it twice, you know
It won't go away
Business- Treble Charger

right-o.... as per usual.... bed was nice... and sleep generally fixes alot of stuff for me.... I woke up... and like most times I go to sleep depressed... I just wake up confused or on the level with not feeling anything... Anyway... TODAY the 17th of January is important to me... Very important infact... Today I hath known Afro Jones for a full year... Im not one to keep track of anniversaries or remember dates... so Im kinda surprised I remembered this one..... but its been a bloody year... and it feels like alot longer... hes been there through alot of crap... and I LOVES HIM!! I really do... *huggles pillow in replacment of Afro* anyway.... *cough* enough of that... I was going to put up a story TODAY... but things kept getting in the way... so... Ill post it when I post it.... that should just keep people comming to the site I suppose...

Anyway... I was talking with my fellow Canuk... discussing how people do the relationship thing... ok... lately theres been some tension between myself and Tiga and Dory due to what happened about two weeks ago... thats part of the reason why I got so upset last night... I finally managed to talk it over with Tiga and felt ok about it then Dorian said something that just messed it all up again.... but..... seeing how I distanced myself from the whole relationship... I've been seeing things in a more neurtally set light.... It seems like all she can do is complain about him... If its not something about him not picking up the phone... its how he wants her to see a movie she doesnt want to see... or his inabilitly to take no for an answer in certain situations... *cough*... now... Im generally not against listening to other peoples problems... and generally I have advice.... ITS JUST ADVICE... so I dont expect people to listen to me... We spent a good two hours talking yesterday and everytime she mentioned some form of frustration she had with him... in particular one night she ended up staying at his house for a few hours when she really wanted to go home and see her mom... my suggestion... she should have got up and left when he sat down to watch a movie.... he was suppose to be doing other things such as laundry... thats what made her so frustrated... so... theres the Relationship where it seems like one person is complete oblivious and inconsiderate to the others views and values... and the other bends to the inconsiderate's stupidity. Its a matter of equalitly.... *sighs and sits down* There have been alot of things I've been thinking about lately... different aspects of relationships I've been reflecting on. One thing I've been trying to spit out when I talk to Afro... I've looked back at some of the conversations we've had... and... *smiles* thats the kind of relationship I want with the guy I end up with... thats assuming that I ever find a guy..... We talk... we joke... we know when we've ticked the other off... which doesnt happen very often.... There is no mention of sex..... no thought of that at all... which... from some of the past relationships I've had... and in all honesty... even one or two of my present ones... that seems to be the main focus... If the discussion isnt about sex... there is no discussion.... which... I have no problem talking about it... but its not right if thats all that you talk about.... *breaths deep* Thats why I absolutly adore Heero... when we get the chance... we just talk... In all honestly... I cant remember what about half the time.... but its just talk... I dont understand realtionships where people are not in a balance... if its all give or all take... I dont think its a good relationship. Some things have to be sacraficed in a relationship... but that doesnt mean that one person has to make all the sacrafices.

(( I realize at this point Im rambling.... but I've had alot of stuff on my mind for a long time.... so Im just going to spit it out.. If you read it all..... thanks... If your offended... bite me... Im exercizing my right to free speach.....if it doesnt make enough sense to offend... then good... my job here is done......))

*deletes portion of post* I hate when people are to stupid to listen to warnings.... You want me to be a fucking friend Jaxx... I'm not going to lie to you.... You want lies.... Then I'm not your friend... good luck with that... and nice knowing you
Sita
So ya'll know.... might be away for a few days... Im trying to set up a wireless router on my comp but its being a bitch... so depending on how things work tomorrow... I may not have net for a few days.... Those of you that have my number.... feel free to call.. *cough* AFRO *cough*
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