Sunday, April 16, 2006

I'm not doing that well today
And self-control was never my forte
So I call a friend
Jesus with a pager and Mercedes Benz
Delivering Idiots- Stabilo

So I think I half figured out why Im so very ticked at Tiga for the whole Tiga/ Dory fiasco. The basic fact that Im suppose to drop what ever Im doing... I.E Sleep, eat, spending time with Zanorich, spending time with other people who are important to me such as Con, Afro... so far she hasnt intterupted me while talking to Zappa...

Case 1.
I get a text message last night right before calling Zanorich on my break from Tiga, wanting to talk to me. I gave her 10 minutes as I honestly prefer to talk to Zanorich right now as oppose to Tiga. 5 minutes of complaining about Dory going to game night later... It felt like 10 to me... I told her I had to go and called Zanorich. She knows I talk to him on my break when I can. It annoyed me a bit that I gave her time... I gave her advice... and she doesnt seem to appreciate it all that much. She must on some level because she keeps comming back to me.... but its getting to the point where my suggestion is if hes such a bad boyfriend... dump him.

Case 2
Im actually online at the same time as the majority of my friends... Talked to Con for about 20 minutes.... then had to leave in a fairly quickly and I though slightly rude way to go... I hate the "g2g ttyl... bye" good-byes. ((Wasnt quite that bad... but it was right in the middle of the conversation....)) Because Dory was wating at the door. She may be at his beck and call... ((not at his demand... but her own...)) but Im not... He can wait or he can leave... I can walk home ((hour walk XP)) but I shouldnt have to drop everything for him either.

Case 3.
I got stupid and over emotional over something silly Zanorich did. ((You forgot me... you JERK... But I still like you :P)) It was a bad day.... I was just in a bad mood all around... And I lacked anyone to talk to as it was 5 in the morning by the time I was free... I needed sleep... by the time I wake up shes either at work or with Dory.... and when I do get a chance to talk to her... god help me if the first topic of discussion isnt something Dory "messed" up...... HE ISNT THAT BAD!! I just havent even bothered trying to talk to anyone about it besides Zanorich.... is getting pointless...

Tiga is pretty much my best friend here... I've more or less lost the ability to talk to my best friend from High School. I talk to her now and then but its always about jobs and stuff... that usually happens once every few months or so...
These really arent things I want to talk to Afro about because 1) hes a guy.... 2)we have our own little akward past issue thing that makes it hard for me to talk to him about relationships.... 3) I would much rather talk to him about other things than me being a stupid little girl at times.... expecially as we dont get to talk that often now that I work at nights and hes on at random times.
I've attempted to talk to Stacie about some of the issues and the usual response I get is "Your such an idiot sometimes... your one of the reasons I'm not interested in relationships right now" ((On the bright side of that comment... Whoot!! Im encouraging someone to not reproduce))

Its just getting to the point where I can accuratly anticipate how people are going to respond to my seeking help... and I avoid wasting their and my time by even bringing it up to begin with.... The few other people I wouldnt mind talking to.... I usually have to work when they are free for the talking... and its begining to frustrate me to the fullest.... They are personal problems... so Im not going to post about them in detail on the MyO... PMs and emails are useless as its something you need to talk about now as oppose to later... I think I just need new friends... thats the only option I see as working... that or talk to a tree or something.... cause it has to listen... not like its going anywhere or anything...

On the plus side.... I got 14 hours of sleep yesterday... ((Stacie gave me shit for that too as it ment I slept as oppose to having a social life.... I was plenty happy alone and in my bed))... I talked to Zanorich which made me feel better and I think Im about to do another 12 hour sleeping marathon.... in four days Zanorich visits again..... yay!!
Sita
Note: Happy Candy day or what ever you want to call it. Im just not going to get onto that topic again....
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