Monday, July 10, 2006

yay, i feel so much better...
and yet, i have no idea why. maybe because i had a dream that didn't center around people i miss. in the dream i had decided to bike to the mall, but a little way into the trip i realized i'd forgotten my helmet, didn't care, saw a wolf, biked for the center of the town i was in, got attacked but kicked the wolf under the jaw. then it came back and bit me, and my mom had to pick me up.

yeah. so much better than feeling stupid for dreaming about someone you barely know anyway... i've practically been kicking myself when i wake up from dreams about school, but the scary part is that they're good dreams...

back to reality, i think? yesterdaymy dad took me shopping, which is apparently better than bringing my brother along? (both are really bad) his idea of shopping is "get stuff, whether or not it is comfortable or the person wearing it will wear it." and that's how i end up with a dresser full of things i will never wear. so after deciding on some clothing, he decides i need hiking boots. i decided i didn't need a pair of hiking boots because my deteriorating chucks made it up and down a mountain no problem. so he drags me over to a wall of hiking boots and makes me try on a bunch that don't fit and keeps asking me to just get a pair of hiking boots. so i'm supposed to choose between really expensive shoes that don't fit and i don't want. hell, i want a pool, not a damn pair of boots i'll barely wear. so i start crying (i'm actually crying right now because thinking of how difficult he makes everything) and so he tells me to "cut that crap out, i don't need to deal with it." I wish he'd get hit by a bus. (and he asked me to give him the url of my blog, heh..)

um. what else. i went to the pond. i hate the pond. all the damn fishies swarm around my feet. i kick them away, but then they come back. damn fishies.

today was a good day. i dug a hole. it's a good hole. then it got too deep and narrow to use the shovel, but out post-hole digger is broken apparently, so i couldn't use that. oh well.

the rest of the day i spent wanting to talk to someone i was talking to all yesterday. so when i was talking to other people i started zoning out and getting all introspective. so i'm not completely fine. but digging made me happy because we've got a new shovel that digging easier. and yes, i'm quite serious about my dad, he makes everything not fun. EVERYTHING.

P.S. I've made 250 paper cranes, they're in a box next to my bed.
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