Monday, October 11, 2004

   Hello.
HEy ^_^ Well, its Crazy hair day at our school. NOt like I don't always fix my hair up crazy, but today I managed to make it silver. ^_^ Thing is, I wanted blue. I used my brothers 'hot head' comb-through hair die, but when I used my hair spray wax on it, it changed silver. Now that I look around, that was probably a good thing, cause every one has blue hair! Except my friend BJ... He has a wig... a colonial wig... LOL that really inproved my day. ^_^ Well, l80rz. OH! and, uh... comments are nice things, but they don't have to be on just the newest posts, I usualy look over most of them.
LOVE AND PEACE!!
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, October 10, 2004

   Gr33t
Hi-d. well, since my last rant I don't have much to talk about. I'm feeling a little better, but i still feel like something is wrong. These spells usualy end after a while with me having some sort of breakdown, afterwhich I am normal (yeah right) again. I thought that was last night, but obviousely i still have somethign else to get done first. Well... l80rz
LOVE AND PEACE!!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, October 8, 2004

   rant
Well, today liberaly sucked. I was late for the bus, My contacs are bugging my eyes, I don't have any weekend, and I found out that this girl I was cruching on is some kind of drug dealer! Man... once I start having a life, it starts sucking!
Another thing is that I want to be with this other girl who happens to be my good friend. Only thing is I don't want to ruin anything. I want to have just be a kind of 'friends with benifits' but I don't know how that will work. Basicaly I'm attracted to her by her body, and her personality. She has a kind of... 'protect me' personality, and I guess I'm just a fool for that. Plus since all this stuff is happening, i'm getting to be a real jerk latley. Surprising everyone, and scaring some. Its because I still haven't full closed off what happened with me and my ex. And right now I just want someone to hold for a while. I think thats basicaly it. It used to be that I thought that couldn't be possible, that love was enternal. I lived in a story book. Oh well, time to wake up you moron!

What do you guess think I should do about my friend? Should I try or let it go? (comments please)
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 6, 2004

   well...
I'm finaly breaking things off with my ex-g/f. We were still e-mailing and writing letters, and she tried to call a few times. I just can't talk to her. I really want the past to stay in the past, even though the past was the best time of my life. Oh well... I keep puting myself through this... I'm just a regular 'emotional masacist'. Its better than feeling nothing.

Why can't things be easy? I want her back, then I don't. Why can't I have her back? Why did she break so many promises when all I did was give her my innocent unconditional love?! Did she not realize that she was the very first person to have my whole heart in the palm of her hand? Did she not realize that I was fresh to love? Or did she just not care? Was she only pretending for almost 2 years? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY QUESTIONS!?!? -_-
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

New News.
Well, the trip home went without insident, which is a good thing. I'm starting work on my senior project so i may not get to post everyday. I'm still on the lookout for a girl, though I'm not desperately searching. My thought is that it would be nice to just have someone, but its not something that I must have. (comments welcome)
Other than that, there isn't much to talk about. Never really seems to be alot to talk about in my life... Hmm... oh well ^_^ I guess that just means I get more time to relax.
LOVE AND PEACE!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Oopsy!
Please pardon my absences! I've been very busy latley, which is a new thing for me. Must be that I'm getting ready to graduate. ^_^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, October 3, 2004

   ^_^
WEll, I head home today. Not much to post about right now, so i'll tell you more when I get home.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, September 30, 2004

   Is it friday yet?
That is the question! Ma, this whole week has felt like a friday. And that means that I am really REALLY tiered by now. I didn't want to get up more than usualy this morning, and i didn't get any coffee. I got a few minutes of sleep on the bus though... that was nice. I'm sure everyone know how it feels to get up rediculosely early after not going to bed before 11:30 and having to go a full 7 hours without taking a nap... Two words sums that up: NOT FUN! I won't be here tomorrow, I'm going to visit my Grandma. There I can get some sleep! ^_^...... -_-ZzZzZz
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

   Late posts
Hi-d. Sorry for the lack of posts. I'm staying with one of my friends this week. Hard to believe that things worked out as well as they did. ^_^ My mom let me stay here for 3 days! This time things are actualy looking up for us.
I hate to see what bad is going to happen since all this good is going right! Oh well. ^_^ I'll take things as they come.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, September 27, 2004

   Memorie
Yesterday was actually a rather difficult day for me. For some reason no matter where I turned I found something to remind me of my ex-g/f. I think of her every once in a while, but usually just remembering something that we did. Yesterday it was like I was under attack by her memorie.
We still write eachother letters but not that often. The worst thing is that I never wanted it to end. I'm still a little down about it. Its been almost 3 months now that we've been apart. But thats not as long as 23months, which is how long we were together. Even though the end of it was the worst thing i've ever had to go through... I wouldn't trade all the time we had together just to avoid that pain. In the end, it is worth it to me.

Dose anyone else think this is a bit much? Is it possible to be friends after a breakup? ~comments wanted~
Comments (0) | Permalink