Tuesday, November 29, 2005

   Little somthing I found
John goes fishing
John sighed as he got his fishing box ready. After several long years of work, he finally had enough sick days to have an entire month of fishing. He hooked his boat up to his trailer and drove to the lake. He put the boat in that water and relaxed. He felt his line catch and reeled in something heavy. Suddenly the water shook up by an explosion from under water. “What the” He waited that sat back down. “Oh well” He caught about eight fish when he got something else heavy. “I got a big one” He hooked up the crane on his boat when he was directly over it and lowered the crane. He then brought up a cruise missile.
“Holy crap” He heard another boat in the distance and lowered the missile back into the water. He heard it get closer and decided he didn’t have time to unhook it, so threw his line out and sat down as he turned around. The other boat had a crane like his only there were a bunch of Arabs on it. “That’s not good” The other boat pulled up next to him and one of the Arabs smiled. “You going feshing?” John nodded as he made a move with his fishing rod. “Yep” The Arab laughed. “We going feshing tooo” He pulled out an AK-47 and began spraying the water. Several fish floated to the top of the water and were throw into a cooler. “We got fesh for eeting tonight” One of the Arabs looked at John’s crane suspiciously. “What that for?” John made a nervous laugh. “Just came with the boat” The Arab jumped over to John’s boat and began raising the crane, bringing the missile up. “He spy, he spy” John hit the motor on knocking the Arab out as a spray of bullets hit his motor. “Dang” Three more boats appeared, each filled with Arabs. They tied John up and sped over to an old cabin lodge where they threw him in a room with two chairs, a table, and a window. One of the Arabs smiled as a huge Arab walked in. “Meet Bob, Mester Spy” He walked out as Bob grabbed John by the throat and threw him into a wall. John screamed as he picked up a chair. “I’m not a spy” Bob gave a toothy smile; he was missing both of his front teeth on the top and bottom. “I seen tis on TV” He slammed the chair on John’s head making it shatter, and then picked him up and crashed him through the table. John grabbed the last chair and swung as Bob caught it and broke it in half.
Bob grabbed John and threw him out the window as he hit the ground with a thud. “Oww” John began crawling on the ground as an Arab stuck his head out the window. “Dance white man” He began shooting the ground making John get up and jump around. John jumped into one of the boats and took off down the lake and found his truck. “Crap” His truck was now a blackened frame with nothing in it except a squirrel humping another squirrel. John found a bike and pedaled down the road. A week later he made it to his house and walked up to the front door. Suddenly it flew opened and Bob pulled him inside and sat on him. ‘Now you no go any place” John mouth dropped open. “How did you find my house?” The leader Arab held up his wallet. “You id” John banged his head on the ground. “Dangn’t” Bob grabbed his hair. “Let me help” He picked John up and put him through his glass coffee table. After they tied John back up and put him on the couch, they began raiding the fridge. “You have good food. All we had was fish and sliced sausage” John tilted his head. “Where did you get the sausage from” Bob pulled down his pants. “See sausage” John closed his eyes. “Sorry I asked” Later that night the Arabs crashed on the couches and his bed when the leader came in and got John then took him to the guest room. John looked around. “What are you doing?” the Arab smiled. “I’m gay” John began to cry. “Why me”
The next day the cops came to John’s house. “We had several calls about screaming during the night” The Arab smiled. “Ahh yes come on in” He closed the door as the cops entered. “Shoot the white men” Bullets flew across the room as the cops fell dead and Bob jumped up and down. “More sausages” John woke up and saw the missile sitting in his living room. They picked him up and stuck him in a truck. “Now drive to Embassy” He held a gun to John’s head as he began to drive, the missile in the trailer behind him. He got on a straight stretch and headed for the building as all of the other Arabs revealed the missile and began shooting people on the sides of the street. “Praise Allah, praise Allah” The leader smiled. “Go faster, ram the building. We meet Allah today” John bailed as he rammed the building, the explosion throwing him into a gay strip club and into the back room where two guys were undressing. “Looks like we are going to have a threesome” John began to cry again. “My life sucks”
The next day John made his way to the living room as smoke bombs filled the room. “What the” Several feds threw him to the ground and cuffed him. “You are being arrested for founding a terrorist organization, helping terrorists, bombing the Embassy, raping two straight guys, burning your truck for insurance money, and for exploding a cruise missile underwater and killing a school of fish” they threw him in a maximum security prison with five convicted gay rapists sharing his cell.