Monday, August 15, 2005

I was really horny when I took this. ^^

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))
Created by xSwtLilAngel666x and taken 120867 times on bzoink!
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? ::	Austin
Birthplace ::	Houston, TX
Age ::	20
Age you act ::	*holds up four fingers* this many!
Current location ::	Between Venus and Mars (must.. resist.. sailor moon innuendo..)
Eye color ::	Changes
Hair color ::	Dark brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::	Ambidextrous! And I can even use my feet!
Zodiac sign? ::	Virgo
Height? ::	5' 10"
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality ::	Scottish, Irish, American Indian.. lord knows what else
Your hair ::	Kinda combed, but windblown, hanging down to my shoulder and curling outward near the bottom
Your fears ::	Giving in, and not having enough courage to press on
Your perfect room ::	Full of gorgeous women; either in sexy, beautiful clothing or none at all!
What you practically do in a day ::	Wake up, think about sex, play games, think about sex, go to class, think about sex, do homework, think about sex, go to sleep, dream about sex
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse ::	yeah
Phrases you overuse ::	'this guy' 'and.. yeah' 'so there'
Your first thought when you wake up ::	Don't talk so loud, dad!
Your greatest accomplishment ::	Going to the University oif Texas, I guess
Something you want to do ::	About 43% of the women I see
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke ::	Dr. Pepper
McDonald's or Burger Kings ::	Burger King
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::	Aww, I can only have one?
Chocolate or vanilla ::	Vanilla
Adidas or Nike ::	New Balance
Black or white ::	Black 'cause it goes with my hair. Then again, Soma Cruz looks pretty badass in white
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::	Coins. Quaters, specifically
Burgers or hot dogs ::	Burgers, but hot dogs can be fun in their own way.
Egypt or France ::	Why go somewhere else when beautiful and intelligent women from all over the world can be found right here?
Rock or rap ::	Heaven or Hell? Let's Rock!
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke ::	Nope, but I sizzle!
Cuss ::	Depends on whether or not I hear the phrase 'Talk dirty to me'
Sing well ::	Nope, but I can still make beautiful music!
Sing in the shower ::	Only if it's a duet. ;)
Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::	No need, the voices provide plenty of healthy conversation!
Believe in yourself ::	Oh yeah! There's no circumstance that I can't handle!
Like taking these longass surveys? ::	Hehe, no, but I'm a total masochist so it's okay.
Play an instrument ::	Not a musical one.
Want to go to college? ::	Already there.
Want to get married? ::	Only if I can have at least three wives.
Want to have children? ::	Eventually
Think you're a health freak? ::	Nope, but I do like to run, or even sprint. Jogging is too slow
Get along with your parents ::	Yes
Get along with your siblings? ::	Well, if you can call Noelle a sibling, then yeah
Think you're popular ::	I'm not the most popular, but I think most people know me.
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state ::	Nope, but I will soon.
Drank alchohal ::	Nah.
Smoke ::	Nope
Get high ::	No
Done any drugs ::	No
Eaten an entire box of oreos ::	Nope. I perfer Chips Ahoy or, better yet, anything made by Keebler
Been on stage ::	No
Gone skinny dipping ::	Unfortunately no.
Been dumped ::	Rejected, yes. Dumped, no.
Dyed your hair ::	Nope
Stolen anything ::	Only a few hearts. ;)
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest ::	All of my friends are crazy! I'm the only sane one
Loudest ::	Tolarin
Most shy ::	Noelle, but only at first
Blondest ::	Blond? No, most of my friends have dark hair.
Smartest ::	Hmm, a lot of them are smart actually
Kindest ::	Alora
Best personality ::	Tolarin
Most talented ::	Helena, damn that woman can draw
Best singer ::	I wouldn't know
Most ghetto ::	None of my friends are all that ghetto
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::	None of them
Pain in the ass ::	None
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::	Hate is for haters, not for lovers. ;)
Funniest ::	Newbeh
Best person for advice ::	Would you ask a bunch of crazy people for advice? You mean you wouldn't? Why not?
Dependable ::	Noelle
Trustworthy ::	Trust no one >.> <.<
Druggie ::	None I hope
Most likely to end up in jail ::	I don't want to even think about one of my friends going to jail.
Person you've known the longest ::	Phil.
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream ::	I was in a house, filled with all my best friends, and there were fish walking around on the carpet and squeezing themselves through the edges of a closed door.
Last nightmare ::	I was in a dark, gloomy afterlife, waiting in a very long line.. knowing that if I wasn't judged worthy that I would be fed to a huge dragon who would digest my soul forever.
Car ride ::	I followed dad around while he looked for bike stuff
Last time you cried ::	Right after someone I really loved said something really mean to me.. but I'd rather not get into that
Last movie seen ::	I spy
Last movie rented ::	I spy
Last book read ::	Direct X 9 Graphics: The Definitive Guide to Direct 3D
Last word said ::	..can't remember.
Last curse word said ::	shit
Last time you laugh ::	When I was playing the parasite map on Warcraft 3, blowing random crap up and causing nuclear meltdowns.
Last phone call ::	From my mother.
Last CD played ::	Fallen, from Evanescence
Last song you listened to ::	Bring Me To Life
Last annoyance ::	Dad stepped on my foot, it really hurt, and none of that would've mattered except that he didn't even apologize!
Last IM ::	Probably to Noelle
Last weird encounter ::	Eh, can't remember
Last person you hugged ::	My dad
Last person you yelled at ::	My dad
Last time you wore a skirt ::	Never. There's only two times I'd wear a skirt. A) To fulfill a girl's fetish, or B) Cosplaying as Ms. Cloud.
Last time you've been evil ::	When I stole Noelle's hat, though that was a while back.
Sarcastic? ::	Verbal Irony is my speciality
Last time you fought with your parents ::	Eh, I don't remember, nor do I care to.
Last time you wished upon a star ::	I don't wish upon stars. I just pray.
Played Truth or Dare ::	I know I've played this, but I don't remember when.
Spent quality time alone ::	I'm doing that right now!
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM ::	Nope
Do you feel lonely ::	Yeah.. I'm soo lonely. Wont one of you lovely ladies come over here and keep me company?
Ever TP'd someone's house ::	Why would I?
How about egging someone's house ::	No way! Even if I did, I'd feel bad and try to clean it up.
Do you not like dislike not like me? ::	All your base are belong to us!
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::	M&Ms are yummy! But cruch bars are better.
Yo Momma ::	Now now, what your mother and I did last night was sweet, beautiful, and wonderful. It doesn't demean her in any way and there's no reason for you to be bitter about it.
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::	Mmm, oh yeah.
What do you think of George Bush? ::	Politics aren't very sexy.
Any secret fetishes? ::	Vore, but that's only a secret because no one's ever asked. Yuri too, but there's abosolutely nothing secret about that.
Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::	I like whatever turns you on, baby.
How many languages do you speak? ::	English, C++, Java, some Japanese and some Spanish
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::	Pfft, no way! I've got a LOT more stamina than that!
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) ::	Mmm, the quiz might be over, but the fun doesn't have to end just yet. ~.^
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Saturday, August 6, 2005

Story time!
So yeah. I know I haven't been posting in a while. I just haven't felt like it. But now I do.

Oh yeah, I also changed my AIM name... I actually did that a while ago, but I can't really remember if I told anyone or not.. (Come to think of it, I don't think I told anyone 'cept Subaru... hehe, oops.) Well anyways, anyone who wants to hunt me down can find me at my shiney new SN: RedChaosEmerald. So yeah.. sorry all the people I forgot to tell, hehe, I'm just not good with that kind of thing. ^^

Oh, you might have read the post title here and been like "Eh? Storytime?" Well, for this post, I decided to share with you a story! I have no idea where it's going, but I like it so far. I've just been thinking about the afterlife a lot, for some reason, so I figured I'd just write a story about it! So here it is. It's two pages long. Fair warning! Hehe, have fun reading it, if you feel like it.


“He’s too strong!”

“We can hold him! Don’t stop!”

“I can’t keep this up!”

“Just hold on! We’ve almost got him!”

Sickening laughter. “FOOLS!”

A deafening, earth-rending sound. A bright flash of light. A wave of scorching heat.

A blood-curdling scream, coming from everywhere. Coming from me.

“No! NO!”

Sickening laughter, as pain overtakes my body, inside and outside, crushing my bones and shredding my flesh.

“Please, no! Don’t leave me!”

Crushed. Shredded. Torn. Burning. Screaming. Sickening laughter. And a voice crying out my name in desperation. Blood covers my eyes. Everything goes to black. The blackness covers everything. A light appears. The light grows, obliterating the darkness, and consuming every inch of my being.

I feel nothing except for the comforting warmth of the light surrounding everything.


“And that’s all I remember.”


Dry, dead twigs crack under my feet as I wander underneath the black starless sky. The harvest moon sits upon the horizon. It’s always harvest time for death, or so they said. Such a sad life that one must have. The reaper, I mean. No one wants to see you, everyone thinks you’re a real bastard just because you do your job, and most of all you never, ever, ever get a break. No wonder he’s so angsty all the time.

Dry, dead trees surround me, rising up above me and making a sad attempt to cover the sky with their interlacing branches. Dead, just like everything else around here. Sounds like such a dismal place, but really it isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s not like anything here can kill you. And it’s a much better place than where the evil ones go to. So much burning, and screaming, and begging for mercy that will never be shown to them. It’s torture just to see it, so I try not to. It’s not like the people there aren’t getting what they deserve. But still...

I wander aimlessly through this forest. That’s what we newly dead are supposed to do. We just wander around, trying to learn our way around this afterlife. Oh, and we try not to piss off any of the more... influential people too. Death was pretty clear about that point, and he had some rather nasty tales to tell about those who angered the wrong people. He was actually pretty informative, if a little moody.

Maybe he liked me because I didn’t whine as much as the others. The ones who came after me were... well, let’s not get into that, shall we? Let’s just say that not everyone has accepted the possibility of death by the time they expire. As for me, I’m a warrior. Those who live by the sword will die by the sword. It’s our curse, but it’s also our sacrifice. I shorten my life to lengthen the life of others, and so death isn’t such a surprise for me. In fact, considering the amount of battles I’ve seen, it’s about time.

But enough rambling. I’m walking through the woods, and I see this guy. He’s a little hard to see. His grey form blends in with the trees around him, and he’s a little translucent. Almost like a ghost. Turns out he actually WAS a ghost, but enough of that. I see this guy, and I walk up to him. He turns to me, looks at me, and starts to vanish. So I say, “Hey, wait!”

He completely vanishes. I mean, I don’t see him at all. But then he appears right behind me and says, “Whaaaat doooo yoooou waaaaant?” You know, in that sort of moany, drawling voice that ghosts like to use. So I turn around and I explain to him. I’ve been walking through the woods for what seems like a few days now, and I have no idea where I am. I ask him if he knows where to find the path the city. The city of the dead, I mean. There’s only one city around though, so it’s not like I need to elaborate. There may be a city inside the Burning Pit somewhere, but no one really cares to look.

This ghost guy, he doesn’t say anything. He just vanishes again. At first I’m a little insulted, thinking he just ditched me, but then I see a trail of burning footprints appearing before me. I follow the footprints for what seems like a few hours, and they take me out of the forest. On the top of the next hill, I see the gates of the city. I say thank you, wondering if the ghost was even around to hear me. He doesn’t say anything, and the footprints just fade away, you know, like they weren’t even there.

So I start walking towards the city, and I see my buddy Death carrying some poor bastard off to the Burning Pit. The guy is flailing around like crazy, I mean like, the reaper was barely hanging onto him. I think to offer the guy a hand, but I’m just a newly dead, and old Grim has a lot of experience with this. Instead of getting in his way, I just wave at him, wish him a good day, and go on about my business. I’m not sure if he saw me, but it really doesn’t matter.

The moment I step through the city gates, I see this guy, and he’s totally dressed in white. White glowing robes, mostly. They cover his entire form, and his hood casts a shadow over his whole face. He’s got a pair of huge feathery wings though, as well as a belt around this waist with a sheathed sword hanging from his side. I look at him for a few moments. I’m walking in his direction, purely by chance, and as I get close I notice that this guy is huge. I mean, he’s half again as tall as I am. And his sword? It’s so big I could put my arm over the hand guard and use it as a crutch. Man, I wouldn’t want to tangle with him. He wasn’t out to cause trouble, though. If anything he was just checking the place out. Not much different than me I guess.

But then he did something strange. He looked at me. That in itself wasn’t strange at all, as I had gotten a lot of looks from people in my first week here. I was a newly dead after all. But when he looked at me, I could see two shining ovals where his eyes would be. His face was still cast in shadow, but his eyes were blindingly bright. And then he came up to me. At this time, I had stopped walking, wondering who this guy was and, more importantly, what he wanted from me. “You’re a warrior?” he asked.

“Yes, I like to think so.” I replied. What else was I going to say?

“Are you any good?” Compared to him? I wasn’t sure at the time, but I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to find out.

“Oh you know. I’ve been in a few battles, won a tournament or two.” I’ve won ten, actually. But I never really did like to brag.

“Don’t slack off. Keep up your training, your skills will help you here in the long run.” I’m just looking at him. It turned out to be good advice, though I’m sure what to make of it at the time. I nod my head at him, and ask him where I could find some place to train. “Talk to Fredrick. Tell him that Nicolas sent you. He knows who I am. You may find him somewhere in the Storm Cloud District. He likes to drink at the Weeping Hollow, but he... wanders from time to time.”

Little did I know, I had just been recruited by this mysterious man. Nicolas would become an important and integral part of my life. Or I guess I should say after life. I thank him for the tip, and go about my business. Right now I’m thinking “Why shouldn’t I keep fighting? It’s what I do. Just because I happened to lose one battle, that’s no reason to give up the ghost.” So I go to the Storm Cloud District, looking for a guy named Fredrick. Who a man named Nicolas told me to meet. Because, in all actually, I have nothing better to do, and an eternity to do it in.

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

I hold no hate for you
But we're fighting all the time
I hold no love for you
But you're always on my mind

I push you down
As we constantly struggle
But you don't stay down
And you rise to challenge me

I love it when you soar
Because I'm up there with you
Don't care what we're fighting for
As long as I'm fighting you

Someone might say
That our battle has no meaning
But you and I know
That it has a very special meaning

This feeling we have
It's beyond hate and love
Our drive to succeed
Causes us to rise above

If you get the upper hand
I wont mind the defeat
Because it only ensures my next victory
Will be twice or thrice as sweet
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Today I have another old memory to share. Only this one has a little less angst. In fact it's pretty funny.

I believe I was around the age of ten when this took place. I was applying a coat of Turtle Wax to the car with my father one sunny and hot day. While we were working, a small number of honey bees started flying around us, around me mostly, which caused me some concern because I had been stung by a bee once before. They started flying closer and closer, little by little, and we continued waxing while trying to ignore them, until one started flying directly at me. Worse than that, it was going for my throat!

Obviously startled by this vicious, bloodthirsty insect, I quickly swatted it away and began to advance in the opposite direction. I was able to get away from the bees without any further incident, and my father did as well, but after thinking about it I realized the humor behind the situation I was in. A tiny little yellow and black insect, was going for my throat... Well, maybe you had to have been there to get it, but it was pretty funny. Dad and I still joke about it to this day.

In retrospect, the bee probably had no intention of attacking me at all. It and its kin simply liked the wax that we were using, more likely than not. Still though, I was panicked for a second, but we had a pretty good laugh about it afterwards, so this actually is a fond memory for me.
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Thursday, April 21, 2005

So this is how it is
How you decided it would be
There will be no mistakes
As we both can clearly see

You think you know so much
But you wont listen to me
But the power is in your hands
And there is no one who will help me

I'm not used to being helpless
I'm not used to being alone
But here I stand out in the rain
While you sit quietly in your cove

I turn my back and walk away
As there's nothing more to be said
When I think of you and your decisions
I sigh and shake my head

Yeah.. another wierd poem. I feel stranger about writing these things than I do about telling you about my tramatizing childhood experiences, but somehow it feels right to do this.. I guess it's better than posting nothing.
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I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Reflection, mostly.. It feels a little unusual, because I'm starting to remember all these strange (and sometimes depressing) things from my early childhood that bother me on a subconcious level and really seem to explain a lot about my personality.

For example.. I have this thing where, if I'm walking with a group of people through a crowd, and some random people get between me and the rest of my group, I'll quickly get annoyed. It gets to where I'll cut people off and push them out of my way just to get back with my group. Pretty unreasonable, right? For a while I couldn't figure out why I did that, since just I did it on instinct, without even thinking about it.

But then I remembered something that happened when I was about 6 or so. My mother, one of her friends, and I were at a theme park. It was about time to leave, and there was a huge crowd going through the exit. Some little kid behind us started crying loudly, and my mother and her friend decided to walk faster so that they wouldn't have to hear it. But I couldn't walk as fast as they could, so they walked way ahead of me and I couldn't keep up. I cried out to her many times, but she didn't hear me. She eventually vanished into the masses of people and I was left behind, alone in the crowd and pretty helpless. I was way too young to do anything except cry for my mother...

Eventually one of the park staff found me and I was reunited with my mother and all that, so it turned out okay, but there's still a little part of me that's afraid of getting seperated and left behind. Maybe it wont bother me as much now that I know about it, but still.. I have to wonder what else is locked away in my mind that I can't remember..

Now that I think about it, there was one other thing. When the park staff found me, they took me to this office where they asked me a bunch of questions, like what my mother's name was and other contact information. And they asked me the same questions over and over again, as if they were checking to see if I was lying. I mean, here I am lost, alone and confused, and these idiots are checking to see if I'm LYING. I mean, I can't hate them too much, because they stopped me from getting kidnapped or something while my mother took the time to realize "Hey, where'd my kid go?", but still.. Anyways, that's probably why I can't stand to be asked the same question over and over again..

Though really, it's pretty unnecesary to reask the same question again and again. I mean, I gave you my answer the first time, and that answer has NOT changed in the five seconds since the last time that you asked me. Quit wasting my time already!

Granted, I probably just made a hypocrite out of myself with those last few statements, but still...
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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Hi, yeah.
I feel like saying something here, today, right now.
But I don't know what to say, today, right now.
I have nothing left to say, but so much has been left unsaid.
I want to say so much, but some things are better left unsaid.

The Song of Silence
Says so much to me
I hear nothing in the air
But what your eyes are telling me
I can't hear you breathe
I can't hear your heart beat
Over the screaming of your mind
As we stop for all time

Well, not really, but it sounded cool when I wrote it down. Maybe I should've thought a little more before I wrote it do.. Er.. okay, enough of that..
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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

You know, I could've sworn I had my comments on earlier.

Ah well. They seem to be working now at least. Wierdness.

Yeah, I'd talk more, but I'm kinda busy right now. I guess that makes this whole post kinda pointless, doesn't it? ^^
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Friday, March 25, 2005

Well, I recently came back from throwing a frisbee around with some of my friends at UT. It was kinda fun, and they were able to give me some pointers so that I wouldn't throw it into a tree. ^^ (Frisbee eating trees. Blah.)

Under normal circumstances, I would've gotten today off. Since it's Good Friday and all. But, that only happens if Rick Perry calls in around noon and says "Okay you guys can go home now." Which he didn't. Ah well, at least I didn't have to go to my Computer Science class. (Thanks, Glenn Downing!)

So right now I'm waiting to go to my Physics class. My dad's discussing the strategies behind Rock Paper Scissors with one of his co-workers... yeah. No comment on that.

I guess it's a short rant for today. I just wanna go home, but I'll be good and wait for my physics class. So.. later!
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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Nn.. wow, some people say some very personal stuff on these things. o.o I guess the main reason I never get into these things is well.. I really don't talking about things that are really all that personal. ^^

Hmm, well today I have my second Computer Science test. That should be easy. The only annoying thing is the fact that it's at 7:00 tonight! And it goes to 10:00! And I have to wake up at like.. 6:30 so if I want a good night's sleep I have to hit the sack at 10. Which is when the test ends. Well, maybe I'll finish early. And if not? Well, at least tomorrow is Friday! ^^

Normally, missing a few hours of sleep wouldn't bother me a bit. But I'm still recovering from that surgery I had a few weeks ago. I guess a lot of people don't know about that, so I'll take this time to explain it. See, since the begining of my life I've had trouble with ear infections. For a while, those problems went away, but about... say.. 6 or so years ago they came back again. The wierd thing is, the actual nerves in my ears are, for all intents and purposes, practically dead. So, while normal people would be able to notice an ear infection when they feel the fluid going around in their ears.. I don't have that advantage! My first clue is when I start getting really drousy and tired. My second clue is when my eardrum ruptures.. Yeah, kinda late eh?

So anyways. I had an ear infection about 6 years ago, and I thought I got rid of it way back then, but apparently it didn't really go away. It kinda stayed in there, and this fluid solidified behind my eardrum which would stop the bones in my ears from transfering the sound from my eardrums to my brain.

So... If I've ever asked you to speak up, even though everyone else heard you, that's probably why.

Anyways. I was completely unaware of this until this summer, which is when I got another ear infection. And the eardrum ruptured. Both of them, actually. Sooo I go to the doctor down the street. I get the impression that he was a C- student in medschool or wherever he got his certification. He prescribes me some eardrops that cost like $85.

So I take the drops, but my ears don't feel right, and I don't really have a lot of faith in this guy anyways. Long story short, Dad and I go find another doctor. The second guy.. was SO much more competent. He gave us some different drops, one that only cost about $25, and told us to come back later.

So.. my ears seem like they're okay now, but we go back to the doctor, and he notices that one of my eardrums still has a huge hole in it, and it's the kind of hole that wont really close up by itself. Not to mention, my eardrums have more or less caved in, which really takes away from my hearing ability. (I lost 30 Decibles of hearing in my left ear, and 22 in my right. Yeah..)

Basically, it's pretty clear that I need to have surgery at this point. 1) to patch up my left ear so that it doesn't have that huge hole in it and 2) to make it so that my eardrums aren't caved in any more.

So I get the surgery on my ears. I'm knocked out the whole time, since getting your head cut open is painful. They get rid of that stuff that was blocking up my ears (the stuff I mentioned a few paragraphs ago) as well as patch up my ear. And now I have eartubes.

I can hear so much better now, which I am grateful for, but the few weeks after the surgery really sucked. For about three days after I couldn't leave the bed because I was just so tired. I also had to take some pain pills because well.. As I said before, getting your head cut open hurts!

The pain pills really sucked though. They're narcotic, so they made me feel pretty good and happy while I was taking them.. but when I went to school people would look at me funny and my professor even glared at me because I was obviously drugged up and well.. people generally assume the worst.

And the part that really sucked about them was the withdrawl I got when I stopped taking them. For every short, fleeting moment of joy I got from those pills, I paid heavily with bouts of moodyness, depression, and uncontrollable shaking. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, but by that time I had already earned a place on a few people's block list for being.. less than considerate, creepy, or a jerk. Heck, the ONLY reason I didn't go to that Blazer Tag meet was the fact that I didn't want to lose what friends I had for being a moody asshole. I feel like apologizing to the few people I treated poorly at that time but.. well maybe it's better if I just left them alone.

Yeah, I will never be a druggie, because withdrawl sucks. I might drink, but narcotics are not for me.
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