Thursday, March 24, 2005

Nn.. wow, some people say some very personal stuff on these things. o.o I guess the main reason I never get into these things is well.. I really don't talking about things that are really all that personal. ^^

Hmm, well today I have my second Computer Science test. That should be easy. The only annoying thing is the fact that it's at 7:00 tonight! And it goes to 10:00! And I have to wake up at like.. 6:30 so if I want a good night's sleep I have to hit the sack at 10. Which is when the test ends. Well, maybe I'll finish early. And if not? Well, at least tomorrow is Friday! ^^

Normally, missing a few hours of sleep wouldn't bother me a bit. But I'm still recovering from that surgery I had a few weeks ago. I guess a lot of people don't know about that, so I'll take this time to explain it. See, since the begining of my life I've had trouble with ear infections. For a while, those problems went away, but about... say.. 6 or so years ago they came back again. The wierd thing is, the actual nerves in my ears are, for all intents and purposes, practically dead. So, while normal people would be able to notice an ear infection when they feel the fluid going around in their ears.. I don't have that advantage! My first clue is when I start getting really drousy and tired. My second clue is when my eardrum ruptures.. Yeah, kinda late eh?

So anyways. I had an ear infection about 6 years ago, and I thought I got rid of it way back then, but apparently it didn't really go away. It kinda stayed in there, and this fluid solidified behind my eardrum which would stop the bones in my ears from transfering the sound from my eardrums to my brain.

So... If I've ever asked you to speak up, even though everyone else heard you, that's probably why.

Anyways. I was completely unaware of this until this summer, which is when I got another ear infection. And the eardrum ruptured. Both of them, actually. Sooo I go to the doctor down the street. I get the impression that he was a C- student in medschool or wherever he got his certification. He prescribes me some eardrops that cost like $85.

So I take the drops, but my ears don't feel right, and I don't really have a lot of faith in this guy anyways. Long story short, Dad and I go find another doctor. The second guy.. was SO much more competent. He gave us some different drops, one that only cost about $25, and told us to come back later.

So.. my ears seem like they're okay now, but we go back to the doctor, and he notices that one of my eardrums still has a huge hole in it, and it's the kind of hole that wont really close up by itself. Not to mention, my eardrums have more or less caved in, which really takes away from my hearing ability. (I lost 30 Decibles of hearing in my left ear, and 22 in my right. Yeah..)

Basically, it's pretty clear that I need to have surgery at this point. 1) to patch up my left ear so that it doesn't have that huge hole in it and 2) to make it so that my eardrums aren't caved in any more.

So I get the surgery on my ears. I'm knocked out the whole time, since getting your head cut open is painful. They get rid of that stuff that was blocking up my ears (the stuff I mentioned a few paragraphs ago) as well as patch up my ear. And now I have eartubes.

I can hear so much better now, which I am grateful for, but the few weeks after the surgery really sucked. For about three days after I couldn't leave the bed because I was just so tired. I also had to take some pain pills because well.. As I said before, getting your head cut open hurts!

The pain pills really sucked though. They're narcotic, so they made me feel pretty good and happy while I was taking them.. but when I went to school people would look at me funny and my professor even glared at me because I was obviously drugged up and well.. people generally assume the worst.

And the part that really sucked about them was the withdrawl I got when I stopped taking them. For every short, fleeting moment of joy I got from those pills, I paid heavily with bouts of moodyness, depression, and uncontrollable shaking. It took me a while to figure out what was happening, but by that time I had already earned a place on a few people's block list for being.. less than considerate, creepy, or a jerk. Heck, the ONLY reason I didn't go to that Blazer Tag meet was the fact that I didn't want to lose what friends I had for being a moody asshole. I feel like apologizing to the few people I treated poorly at that time but.. well maybe it's better if I just left them alone.

Yeah, I will never be a druggie, because withdrawl sucks. I might drink, but narcotics are not for me.
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