Friday, April 4, 2008

UPDATE: 'Mini Gay Days

I haven't posted in awhile, and I am sorry, but here goes. Alright so, not much has been happening. There is a lesser-known holiday going on yesterday, today, and ending tomorrow; that was started by Disney. It is called 'Mini Gay Days', and it is where straight guys dress gay to help the real gays feel better about themselves(yale does something similar called 'Coming Out Day'). Being how cool and confident I am, I borrow clothes from my best friend Becky and where them both thursday and friday. It was SO uncomfortable! The jeans I borrowed were skin tight, so I had to tuck my tail between my legs(if you know what I mean), and it was just plain unpleasant. Anyway, on friday(today), a bunch of my other friends dress gay and we bet money to see who looked gayest. I only came in second so I didn't get any money(Shane Davidson came in first). Oh man, something terrible happened today!!! My ipod was either taken out of my pocket or fell out and it hasn't shown up yet. That is extremely depressing!!! I saved up for it for 3 monthes and I don't get an allowance. I really had to bust my ass to get it. My dad can't get mad, though because it wasn't his money used to get it, all he can do is feel sorry for me. By the way, as many people who have been reading my post know, I have been hitting on Becky(yes, same girl who lent me clothes). I have been trying and trying to get over her, and I am glad to say that I think I have come a long way! I am not dependent on her, I can leave her whenever I want, and I don't need her to get on aim everyday ^^! I think I am doing quite well, all though I am not completely over her, far from it, I just have come a long way. Another thing, I have started up a new band titled 'Warped Reality'. The band consists of my younger brother (drums), my friend (keyboard and backing vocals), and my self (guitar and lead vocals). We have some lyrics written and some riffs and beats going, but we haven't put anything together. Tomorrow there is going to be a school carnival/garage sale/chili cook-off thing going in my school's parking lot and they are always tons of fun, but I have to sit this one out because for once I am in the garage sale... so I am going to have to run our sale space and watch my baby brother. Tomorrow is going to be a pain. One more thing, my friend stratics showed me a cool site titled: http://www.flashflashrevolution.com and it is like ddr on your computer!!! You set up your own little site in there, you get a rank and it keeps track of your score. Anyway, if you decide to sign up it is going to ask if you were refered, say yes and put 'snapplejack2005' in the box where it asks who refered you. Peace and Love, Jack 'Harvey' Thornton

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

I'm Back

In case you hadn't noticed, I am back. In case you were wondering, I left because I was hurt and frustrated so for some reason I felt destroying my otaku would make it better. Anyway, I rearanged and sorted out and finally came up with a solution. I am going to give up (not on life). On what, you ask? Well, that is none of your business ^^. I have found an idol... ANGUS YOUNG!!! Look him up for yourself I don't feel like explaining, but I will give you a hint: guitar. Peace and love, Jack

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Sunday, March 2, 2008

My overwhelming stupidity

Lemme start at the beginning. Yesterday morning I woke up and went on a road ride with Rachael and her sister Caitlin for 3 hours. After that we went shopping for a birthday gift for our good friend Sarah Slack. We bought the gift then went to the party. At the party most everyone showed up and were having a good time. The girl I love was flirting with me like crazy and I ignored her; thinking that she was pitying me by giving me what she thought I wanted. Stupid mistake number one.Alright so it was like half-way through the party and me and a bunch of kids are playing hide-and-go-seek (childish? Totally!) when Rachael and her friend(not her sister), Caitlin come up to me and start asking me personal questions and I answer honestly. Stupid mistake number 2. So then I am asked if I would make out with Caitlin and I say "no". So here is where I become completely stupid, this one should count as stupid mistakes 3-6. They bet me where if I win I don't have to make out with her if I lose, I would be tied down and kissed. I got cocky and said bring it on. Well, I lost. So I made out with her, but I did it badly and without feeling(on purpose) because really I wanted it to be the one I loved in the corner rather than Caitlin. So anyway, a girl named Lucy ran off and told the one I love that me and Caitlin were making out repeatedly (4 times to be exact) making my love depressed. I told her the truth and got Rachael and Caitlin to explain, because Caitlin and I felt miserable. She says she was ok with it but I find it hard to believe when she was depressed like 15 minutes ago and wouldn't talk to me. I am finding it hard to type this because I can't put my feelings into words. I wish she would get on aim so we could talk. I feel so stupid.

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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Obsession

I have an obsession over someone. It is quite obvious, but I don't care. I have been taking these tests where they will ask you to place a name with a noun and I always place the person I am obsessing over under the noun or item that describes extreme love. Like it told me to put the first name that came to mind under "red" along with "green" "white" and a couple others and I placed the person under "red" signifying love. I figured an obsession would be cool when I was younger, but it ain't all that! My goodness it hurts. I mean, who wants to actually look forward to school? I wish we were closer than "just friends", but I fear that will be all that we will ever be. *sigh*

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Saturday, February 9, 2008

   Sweet Heart Dance!

Let me start at the very begining: Our eigth grade class held a fund-raising sweet heart's dance. The funds went to our graduation dance/ceremony. Alright, so me and about 25 other kids were on the dance commitee so I got to help choose the music and decorate and all the other stuff that goes into a dance. I helped to make the music choice not suck for once. At all the past dances there had only been rap. We got rap/ hip hop, rock, and alternative in there for once(even a couple slow songs). On top of being in charge of music, I was also in charge of decorations. I got to miss an entire class of spanish! I hate that class, so this was awesome! Rachael, Rikki, Lexi, Jesse, Nathan, Malcom, Cesar and I all stole a two liter sprite from the dance and we had a chugging contest! I won it^^. I chugged one liter (half the bottle). That was nothing, I had drinken 2 and 1/2 of those before in around 1 hour. So anyway, After 1 and a 1/2 hours of decorating it was dance time. I went with becky, the girl from previous posts. She went sleeveless for me(that meant alot to me, she always wears sleeves). She was beautiful and cute, as always. I loved the dance with a passion and wished it could last until 7:30. I have never been so comfortable with anyone else. I mean it. I had never felt more comfortable holding Becky. Not even my dad. Right there I could have told her anyting, my deepest darkest secrets and all. It was weird, but I loved it. I was sad when we had to leave. I would have loved to stay and just dance the night away. Oh yeah, apparently I am famous in middle school for my idiocy. A little boy I don't know came up and asked "You are Jack, right?" I said yes and he said "Dude you are famous... for your retardoscity"... the retardoscity was mine, he really said stupidity and being so funny. Over all that was a wonderful night, all though I am completely confused about becky. Oh well, I don't think I am supposed to know, and if I did, then it wouldn't be as fun. Peace Out

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Monday, February 4, 2008

religion

Hey, it's me again(go figure). Why two posts in one day? Because one was for my nonexistent love life and this one something completely unrelated! Ok, I do not believe in heaven or hell, god or the devil. To me these things are as fictional as "ELMO". I feel that those above figures above were made to answer the unanswerable. I live in the moment, I don't care about how the universe started or is going to end. Instead of saying something is a miracle or god-at-work, I say I don't understand it, it just is. All that matters to me is now and what I can do to further myself in my future now. You know what? Doesn't sound bad, right? Wrong, I am constantly tried to be proven wrong over and over. I wish I didn't stick so strongly to my opinion! I wouldn't have all of these people trying to change me. Alright, so there is this girl who "relates" to me... wandering through an empty field of pain, right on the edge of suicide, but she found god! You know what that says to me? She couldn't take her own problems so she decided that they didn't exist as long as "ELMO" existed because "ELMO" is all powerful and all loving. She says I need to pray every day and come to bible study! I went once, it wasn't exactly fun. Everyone brought up intensely painful memories and insisted they wouldn't have happened if I embraced god. Another thing, christians say that the only thing that comes of sin is death(yes, even lying). Don't say christians don't say that, they said that in the church and then proved what they were saying was true by the bible. If this is true, then what the fuck did my mother do? Why did you take her away, all mighty "ELMO". She was twenty-fucking-five! Just old enough to give birth to me and my brother. Do you know how old we were? I was four and my brother was two. She must have been pretty evil if she died so young! On top of that, instead of just taking the life of my mother, "ELMO" decided to make the rest of my life from six-years-old and up a living fucking hell! Suicide wouldn't be so bad, sometimes. I almost killed myself, then I decided that was the biggest thing you could do to be a pussy. How easy would it be to die so you don't have to take care of problems, just like god. Believe in him and your problems will go away! What bullshit. *sigh* Why am I writing this, you ask? Here is my answer: because (just like my answer to life, the universe and everything). -Jack p.s. Please don't hate me for my opinion

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Today

Today I finall asked out the girl from the below post(s). She said that she would rather stay friends. Despite my rejection I feel better, 'cause that question was bugging me. She said she felt bad for me, afterward! How dumb! She should not feel bad, I mean, anyone with spine should take the rejection gratefully, knowing that they would not have made her happy. I just told her to not be. I am still going to the dance with her, though.... that should be interesting. It was a "Beautiful Letdown", what can I say?

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Sunday, February 3, 2008

What each kiss means

I thought this was cool: What Each Kiss Means Kiss on the stomach; I'm ready. -Kiss on the Forehead; I hope we're together forever. -Kiss on the Ear; You're my everything. -Kiss on the Cheek; We're friends. -Kiss on the Hand; I adore you. -Kiss on the Neck; We belong together. -Kiss on the Shoulder; I want you. -Kiss on the Lips; I love you. ____________________________________________________ What the gesture means... -Holding Hands; We definitely like each other. -SLAP ON THA BUTT: That's mine. -Holding on tight; I don't want to let go. -Looking into each other's Eyes; I just plain like you. -Playing with Hair; Tell me you love me. -Arms around the Waist; I like you too much to let go. -Laughing while Kissing; I am completely comfortable with you. ____________________________________________________ Advice; Don't ask for a kiss, take one. If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely in Love. ____________________________________________________ Requirements; Post this again after reading!! Or you will have a bad year of Relationships. ____________________________________________________ If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you. Repost this as "what each kiss means"

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

OMG!

I just read what I wrote below! Jeez I have issues. Oh, btw, I woke up standing up this morning! I was like, "WTF". Anyway, the reason I am typing is that something, well someone, is bothering me. No names, but I really like her. I would do anything... I probably sound stupid and childish, I could care less. People say hormones, again, I could care less. Today I learned something disheartening. The feeling isn't mutual. I practically died. My problems keep mounting and I can't help but feel that it is my mother's fault. At some point in everyone's life their life changes drasticly, for better or worse. Mine changed for worse when I was four. It is her fault, and I feel an extremely painful surge of anger, hopelessness and despair. I know I can't be helped... I have several options and I don't know which to take! They are all soooo painful. I wouldn't mind dying, it is just as great as living.... you know, that is saying something, considering I don't believe in heaven or hell. I am writing both a song and a story. I am tired... g'bye.

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

just read below please ^^

The following paragraph will be the first thing that comes to my mind. I WILL TYPE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. Here I go: Hi jack how are you today? i don't know leave me the fuck alone. why would I leave you alone? because I don't feel like talking. why don't you? what the hell is up with all your questions? Can't you tell I want to be alone? just leave me the fuck alone. I think something is bothering you. you are in my head, you know what is wrong. maybe it is on a deeper level. well it isn't where would it be? i don't know, why don't you get help? i don't want fucking help!!! you just can't stop asking for help! where would I get help? what about craig? what the fuck is he gonna do? agree with me that vannessa is a bitch and give me sympathy? I need the kind of help like that one beatles song, you know, "happiness is a warm gun". So, just so I make sure what is wrong, tell me. *sigh* dad lost the trial for custody over brandon. are you sure? that isn't just a cover up for what is really wrong? I don't know!!! who are you supposed to be anyway? my concious? yes, yes I am. I tell you right and wrong and I am pretty sure that family issues is not only what is ticking you off. perhaps confusion? a little, but where do you get off telling me? let me guess, you are gonna lecture me. maybe what is pissing me off is you, my concious, did you think of that? you can't hurt me, jack. I am you. You have no problem hurting me!!!! dammit jack, you are so stubborn. what is bugging you? idk! I think it is my baby brother, but maybe it is just teenage hormones.... perhaps vannessa was right... no she is a bitch and a prostitute. so do you think you are getting anywhere? well, I hate this so called "love", what is to like? how am I supposed to know when it is real? ugh I have a headache. we are getting no where, I suggest help. no one can help me... not the help I want. sure I can talk to people, then what? my problems exist no matter what! I want to go hurt someone, bad... just gouge some eyeballs crush some teeth. ok, I have alot of conversations in my head and I wrote one down for you guys just now. here are some random words: death tomato teacher court hatred frustration gun friends television hypnotism light dark yin yang school torture computer relief agony guitar becky hell medicine vannessa brandon failure insomnia numbers hysteria fuck thought cloud teen broken unnecessary pain bus blood scars knive ego hair eyes love book music pencil reliving depression rejection alone sun hope bitch demonic heavenly what do they mean? I don't know... maybe my "conscious" knows.

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