Thursday, May 5, 2005

Backlog

Comments! 23rd April Roxie: I'm really looking forward to the London Expo. I've no idea how big it's going to be, but I'm not expecting much. My friend told me about it and he's mainly going for his wrestling fix... I'll leave him to it, in which case ^_^; I'll be sure to let you know what it's like, heh. Hevn: I can never see yours, and I can't get to any part of dead-seraphim anywhere at all. It's really annoying... But I always keep checking. Shin: Hehe, cool beans ^_^ Crucifix: *knows* Panda: When I see him I'll mention your name, hehe. Although how anyone in the world could not already be friends with you is perplexing to me ^_~ Monkey Orange: *shakes finger* no shame running, heh. It'd be great to see you, mind. I can't wait to get out to America sometime... Lady Lea: Good luck to you ^_^ I've heard some crazy stuff about conventions, but with everyone else who's going I'm sure you'll enjoy it! 26th April Kei: *hugs* Thanks ^_^ Shin: That's true. I always fantasize about being good at all these things, but really it's more practical to be better at fewer. Jack-of-all-trades but master of none, eh? Raven8763: Mmm, it's good to see you, too ^_^ Although I don't think I'll enter in for the competition. I'm a little busy at the moment, heh. After the summer, maybe I can hone my skills more. iluvsasuk: Heh, fair enough. I'm sure competitions like that are run fairly regularly. if you can find the right contact, you may not even need a competition to get what you want. 1st May Shireishou: Thank you! Pyro: I know how important sleep is, but at the moment the things I have to do (or that I let myself get involved with) don't lead to a particular routine. If anything, it's a month's cycle with the same bedtime recurring once every 30 days or so (and that also goes for something rather more irritating that happens to my body... er, not periods, heh). But I never do work past 9 in the evening. My next 'day off' is... Oh damn. I was going to say Monday but I've just remembered I'm at someone else's house all day ^_^; Agh... Crucifix: Yerr, damn them! *shakes fist* I've not felt truely awake in some time. My eyes always feel as if they're slightly less closed than they usually are, and there's a strange floaty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mind you, I have just eaten lots of soup... Hevn: Maybe. Sometimes I just don't have the strength to brek myself out of a habit. My older sister had (and still has, I think) a habit of sleeping in late when she doesn't have work. But sleeping too much is just as bad ^_~ DDG: I've had dark rings since I broke my hip when I was eight. They've waxed and waned, but they're still there. But darkness always makes me sleepy, heh. mind you, too much sun makes me lethargic. I guess I just can't make up my mind, heh. Monkey Orange: Yeah. I know that those nightmares I had was because of me having a rather bulky supper so late at night. And I couldn't help thinking of what you'd said, heh. I'm never eating that late again. At most I'll have a glass of milk and keep a banana or something next to my bed in case I wake up starving, but that'll be it. Thank you ^_^ *hugs* 3rd May After reading through all of these there's really very little I can do to reply wholly to them, but everyone's helped so much ^_^ Pyro: Yeah, I'll look into the counselling office they have next to the Union. I've no doubt they'll be able to help, but I wanted to ask here first. I needed guidance from the people I trusted most, heh. I'd never ignore my emotions. Most of the time they're what drive me on. Karmi: That's true. The amount of time I've been spending with people and interacting with them (most of them guys and quite a few of which are gay) has affected how close to them I feel. But even before we were getting so close, there was a guy that made me think "If he asked me out, I would say 'Yes' even though I'm not gay," because he is such a great person, and I'm sure I'd love being with him and being close to him. It still feels a rather alien concept, though. I mean, I've always been more open to flirting with men than women because of my confidence but there've been few men I've thought about in a sexual way before. I've had dreams, but they weren't conscious fantasties. Now, I'm almost comfortable with the idea of being in bed with a guy, but there are some things I wouldn't do anyway. It may well be confusion. Some time away from college will give me time to breathe ^_^ Kei: *hugs* Ah, I wish I could have shown them to you. I was so pleased. Alex: Yes, I was thinking that. I know I love all of my friends and I would much rather have a relationship with a girl (were I a girl I'm sure I'd probably be bisexual, though, heh) but... I'm still confused about it. I'm not scared of finding out something I didn't know before, but it'll take some working to figure out. There ain't no quick fix. Hevn: *hugs plushie tightly* Yeah, I've no intention of making any brash judgements. Lord knows they've gotten me into trouble before, heh. Thank you ^_^ *hugs* Mimmi: There's certainly that element of sexual-ness tied to it. I don't know how ready I would be to advance into something likethat with someone from the same sex, though. As has been said before, it'll take time. The work really did pay off though, for the performances ^_^ Lovely stuff. Far from Tranquility Thank you for commenting, guys. It really means a lot to me. I'm still not entirely sure of myself, but I know how my feelings have been fuelled by various events over the last few weeks/months. Loneliness, for one thing. I very much isolated myself from a lot of social interaction a while ago, and being brought back into a hugely friendly, incredibly close and open environment so quickly has been a bit of a ride. I still feel a little edgy in some places. At the same time I've felt in more need of close personal contact with someone but have been almost denying it to myself at the same time. I've not felt confident enough with myself to talk to anyone I've had interests in and similarly I almost don't feel I deserve it anyway, not that I really want to explain why. And with everyone I know going all over the country, there'd be no point in building myself up for something that would become virtually impossible to maintain for anything longer than three months- a bigger disappointment. Also... there's a friend of mine who keeps saying that there's something he wants to tell me, and I'm sure it's that he loves me. He keeps dropping clues about, and when he took me outside yesterday to try and tell me a few things he just skirted around them and I didn't manage to draw any kind of conclusion other than that he noticed I was lonely. And that's a bit of a hint in itself. There have been other things too, but really... he's one of my best friends, and my love for him won't extend to anything beyond what it already is. I think... it's a very deep, spiritual understanding of one another, but it's not sexual. But even then I can't be sure that's what he wants to tell me and whenever we have a conversation on the phone it feels so awkward. I know there's something he feels he can't say and at times I just want to escape because I'm afraid of what'll happen if he does. I know if he did I could explain and help him out, but I don't know how he'd react if I said no. Confusion reigns supreme in my mind. But in a few hours I need to give the first of the stage combat workshops for the Year 11s and I can't remember what it is I'll need to say. It's only two hours and a fair amount of that will be warm-up exercises, but even so... it is daunting me, heh. Takees care, lovelies.

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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Experimentation

Well, I was due to leave a shout-out for all the comments that have been left, but I can't actually see them and I don't really have time otnight to wait around. Tonight was the big night in terms of the directing projects- I had The Odd Couple to watch, and Christie In Love, Waiting for Godot and The Anniversary to act in. Today really didn't start well. It took me three hours to get to sleep, and once I did I had five consecutive nightmares, all of which were heavily disturbing. I got in this morning feeling quite literally like excrement. And then I did and felt a lot better ^_~; *coughs* Seriously though, I was really worried I wouldn't have enough energy to give a decent performance tonight. Seeing as it was our only chance to perform I wanted it to be the best I could possibly make it. Coming up to the evening, I bought myself a stale baguette (the intention wasn't for it to be stale, but that's what I ended up with), stale Jaffa Cakes and a somewhat stale coffee. Despite feeling like I was going to throw up, it did me a world of good to have so much energy inside me. Moment of Truth The time for the fruits of my labours to bloom, take seed and be eaten by an entertainment-greedy audience had come. The Odd COuple was the first of the performances that I was involved with to come up, and I anxiously watched them play it. I'm so proud of them. They did really well, and even though one of the big jokes was missed out I couldn't have asked for more ^_^ Christie In Love, I felt, was the best I'd ever played it and I really enjoyed playing the part. It's so different to anything I've done before and everyone said it was really effective. After those two were over I could have cried, it was such a relief to have them done. Due to an administrative error, I was due to be in one piece directl after another, Waiting for Godot and The Anniversary being the culprits. I'd practiced the costume change during the dress reharsal and decided it would be better to change in the scene dock to save me running about too much, and I also figured it would be easier not to change my shoes, seeing as they took up at least 50% of the time it took me to change. Waiting for Godot was good fun, although I still feel I could have done better with my movements. It didn't really help that I found out my costume was completely sideless, and having to wear no trousers or T-shirt underneath meant that when I fell over I exposed my trendy underwear and bare legs to the audience. I safety-pinned them much more securely for the performance proper, though -^_^-; The Anniversary was the climax of the night. I put as much energy into it as I could and... broke the glass when I slammed it onto the table. It got a great reaction, mind, and even though I later realised that I cut my knuckle open on the glass I loved every minute of it. Uncertainty And now, sat at home, there's another feeling coming over me, and it's one that's been sitting with me for a while. I have a question to ask, and I don't know how many people will really be able to tell me an answer that won't be "You'll find out for yourself", but I wanted to draw on people's experiences. Say that you find someone of the opposite sex attractive physically, but find that you love members of the same sex without wanting to necessarily have sex with them, could that be counted as bisexuality? I ask because... I think I might be bisexual. I've never really known whether it's something you can define within yourself- there are people I find attractive from same and opposite sexes, and I know there are people in both that I love but... what does it mean? I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions, and I'm sure tiredness is probably adding to all this. But it's been with me for some time, and I really need some advice. Thanks in advance, and hopefully I'll be able to actually read your replies, heh ^_^ Sleep well, everyone.

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Sunday, May 1, 2005

Fly-By Sleeping

I have to be quick right now, as there's a chance my monitor'll go all stupid again, as it threatened to do while I was writing a PM. At least I managed to send it okay, heh. I am doing bad things to my body right now- oversleeping, but at the same time oversleeping badly. It'll take me three hours to get t sleep and then I won't wake up until ten in the morning, which is about two hours more than I normally allow myself. Problem is, on a college day it means I get less than about five hours sleep and I'm sure I look pretty terrible, like some kind of Shaun of the Dead extra. It's probably because I've been eating so late. Too many distractions, too many activities. And I have a lot of written work to do, too ^_^; Preparing for the workshops, assignments for college work... ooh, it's all fun. But in the meantime I'm still pretty optimistic about everything. I just wish I could sleep better. These damn dark rings just won't go away... *hugs all* Takees care. I'll have three lots of comments to do in the next post ^_^;

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

First, Last and Everything Inbetween

I can't actually view comments at the moment *thwacks connection repeatedly*, so I'll have to leave the commentary until I actually know who was there and who said what. Bleh. *cue Benny Hill music* Today's been a right farce, and no mistake. And not in a side-splittingly hilarious way, either. I'm surprised most of the people on the course are actually still here. There are very few who are continuously dedicated to it and don't bloody muck around when we're trying to rehearse. People are unreliable, run off when they're not supposed to, don't learn lines and won't stop talking. There've been times where I've just thought "Why the hell do I bother?", and then of course I realise that if I can actually stick it through I'll do better than just walking away from it. My hair won't behave. I'm growing it long, but right now it's at the stage where it's too long to style in a way I'm used to, but too short to fall into the right place. And it's fluffy hair, so it automatically falls into this Ayato Kamina-esque bouf, although without the nice artistic style he has. And above everything else, I just want to get to bed. Bleh tiredness and blah my not being able to draw. Yeah, a bit out of the blue, but if I could draw I could enter in for Tokyopop's 'Rising Stars of Manga' competition with Nazreal, or something. Is frustratimifying, and I dont have the time to try and practice right now. Perhaps I'll just stick to writing. Or spend thousands of pounds on a CGI suite... heh. *hugs to all* Take care, chillins.

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Saturday, April 23, 2005

You're a Naughty Boy and That's Pure Evil Coming Out of the Back of You!

Comments Kei: Heh, I'm not nearly as good (at karate) as him yet. Hopefully I'd come off better in a fight, though... JJRiddler: CV stands for Curriculum Vitae. It's basically a summarry of your skills, experience andf hobbies usually relevant to a job you want to do. They aren't the most exciting things in the world, but pretty necessarry. Annsie: You're right- I'd known for quite some time that something bad was due to happen to that lampshade. And I had a feeling it'd be me that did it, heh. Crucifix: Mmm, it's all very good ^_^ I love the manga books, and I'm trying to force-feed it to my sister, too. She wouldn't understand a lot of the gaming jokes, but the comedy's still good anyway. Pyro: The light wasn't on, thankfully ^_^; It didn't actually hurt that much, although I was really worried about finding glass shards in my bed later that evening. Turned out okay, though- fantastically, it only broke into large, easily manageable pieces with only one or two tiny dangerous bits. I never liked glass lightshades very much... Mimmi: Wow, that is a response ^_^; *throws blanket over her* Behave, you ^_~ I'll have to see whether I'd be able to distribute the movie on VHS or not, otherwise I'd need to organise some kind of screening event for everyone to come along to, heh. Shinmaru!: Mmm, snog is good. Practically and vocally, heh. But I want to read/see Fruits Basket too! I just haven't got round to ordering the import boxset yet- it's about £40 cheaper than buying all four UK DVDs. Bloody UK and their lack of marketing... James: *agrees ferverently* The thing is, when i tried some on about a year ago, I thought "These are far too camp!" and threw them away in fear. Now I don't wear anything else, heh ^_^; I'm not sure if I'm with you on the flies, though. I guess you've just had more practice than I have ^_~ Monkay Orange: Eee! *hugs* Ah, I'm glad you're still here, hehe. I intend to be around for much longer this time. And no more apologising for myself, either. RaeRae: A friend of mine's doing Rozencrantz. I've not actually seen any of it yet, but I've only heard good things about it so far. I really need to see more plays. Social Conventions I really don't have that much to update about today, 'cept that I've been watching Zone of the Enders and Family Guy, which is atually a lot better than I first made it out to be. Very good stuff in those episodes, heh. Who'd have thought that Optimus Prime was Jewish... Anyway, I'm going to this place on the 14th and 15th of May, and if anyone else is going to be able to make it, let me know, heh. It's the first anime convention I've been to. I guess it's good to start fairly small (and let's face it, considering this is the UK it's not going to ever be anything more than that. Leonard Nimoy's going to be there, though. Hmm. *hugs to all* I am full of Jaffa Cakes ^_^

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Friday, April 22, 2005

Ping

Comments Mimmi: Heh, start anywhere you like. I promise to respond accordingly ^_~ Arcadia: Ah, I wasn't intending to be that cryptic but I guess without explaining things fully it's hard not to be. Main thing to remember is that everything's okay. Keep me posted on whereabouts you'll be getting to in London, heh. Raven8763: Yay! *hugs* It has been a damn long while, heh. I'm sorry about that. It was never intended to be this late. I still have things I need to catch up on, actually. Sounds like a task for tomorrow! *dramatic pose* Lady Lea: Mmm, Doot ^_^ *hugs* Annsie: Eee, it's great to be back. And I haven't forgotten about the promise I made to you over Bikini Bandits. Is a work in progress at the moment ^_^; Myself: Yes. To reiterate: "Eh, I realise a bit of that post could have been misinterpreted- when I said few people here understand me, I meant here as in 'here at home' rather than 'here at theO'." Baron: Yeah, anti-virus software's pretty prominent on here and my computer upstairs. Knowing my luck it's the ADSL Gateway we're using. It's already buggered up playing Half-Life 2. Mmm, I will be taking pictures of myself soon (boy, did that sound dodgy >.>) for show. Hopefully I can get ahold of those ones from the party yonks ago, too... The Post Proper I can't believe how much Megatokyo I've missed! I'm down by about 180 chapters. And Volume 4 isn't being released in manga form yet! *cries in frustration* Raa, the tension! Anyway, today was pretty ordinary at college, although we finally blocked the final part of the Waiting for Godot scene. My knees absolutely kill now after having to fall on my knees in that and Rodrik's piece so many times. Icky icky bad. Still, things are progressing. I had a very long chat with Marcus today about my future work and he's given me a lot to be thinking about. And do- I need to construct some CVs for him by Monday for him to look at. I love written work... Meh, I had to buy a new lampshade for my ceiling light yesterday, as I smashed the old one last week by shoving my hand through it in a rather over-enthusiastic gesture. I wasn't hurt (much), but the lampshade was decimated. I guess my karate hand's stronger than I thought ^_^; I's off now. I'll catch up with everyone soon. Take care!

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Thursday, April 21, 2005

^__________^

Quick Comments *hugs everyone* Baron: Visiting any of MyO, OB or theO gets very sporadic for me- sometimes I can see bits of each, none of one and all of the other and/or nothing at all. It's the same with all of the Velegant-hosted sites I see. Even Dead-Seraphim.net doesn't work all the time. I do hope it's not just my computer. Luckily things are working for the moment, though ^_^ Hevn: Mmm, I have been. Food and shopping was for me today, and a strange absence of karate. Pyro: I love your avatar ^_^ Mimmi: Mmm, buns! Lady Lea: *hugs excitedly* James: You've no idea how good it is to see your text again, heh. I've missed it. DDG: Eee! *hugs back* The Results are In! Well, seeing as the PM I recieved voted unanimously for me to discuss everything on the list, I shall do so ^_^; But you don't have to read all of it if you don't want to. Just the good bits ^_^ College Life Gilgamesh went incredibly well, moreso than I think anyone hoped or realised it ould. I was so pleased for Marcus (our director) to have done so well and I'm glad to have been able to help him. I didn't escape without my fair share (and probably everyone else's) of injuries, but they weren't severe. Most revolved around a throat that was drained far too dry from having to play the hoarse, breathy scorpions. I had a really great time, though. After that were the Easter Holidays, but considering I was meant to have two weeks off I'd actually never been busier throughout the entire year. I had filming (which is now currently on hold until the summer) to do during the day and karate three out of four evenings a week and various rehearsals and get-togethers with people at college to attend. It was frantic, and the bags underneath my eyes can attest to the many late nights I've experienced up until now. I bought some stuff to try and help get rid of them but it's only since I started that people have said "Crikey, your eyes are black!". I'm not entirely convinced that they work. I auditioned for Macbeth two weeks ago and landed the parts of Witch 1 and Seyton. Initially I was pretty pissed off- I was hoping for Banquo. But after some time I eased into the idea that it was a prtety cool part to play, and if I get a cloak, more the better ^_^ It's actually a bigger part than I first gave credit for, and it should be fun to play. I still have four scripts to learn for the directing pieces, though. And they're to be performed in less than two weeks! Argh! Methinks a big line swot is in order. Kara-torture My karate instructor is pleased with how well I manage to pick things up. Moves, kata, lots of stuff. And I love it, too. I picked up a Gee (Gi?) to wear, and have a lovely white belt with black tabs on to hsow for my work so far. To get to that level, though... The karate grading is the single most exhausting process I've ever been though. Since this is a Goju Ryu style rather than Shotakan, it's much harder, and our instructor believes a lot more in you having to work for and really earn your next belt. So we had two hours of incredibly intense physical exercise which I'm still feeling the effects of today (the grading was last Sunday). What didn't help was the fact that Mum insisted I buy a heavyweight Gee (weighing 16oz) and the grading was its first official outing. It's not something I want to go through again in a hurry, even though I'm quite eager to get to a higher level, heh. Just call me Mr Sado-Masochist. But don't, cause I'm not really o_o; Logical progression brings me to: My, Myself and My Sexy Body ^_~ *coughs* Aside from the fatigue and muscle strain I'm still feeing from the grading, I'm doing well. My face is covered with an invasion of spots, though, which comes from missing out on using Clearasil for two days while in a horrible sweat-covered and smokey environment. They're gradually subsiding, though. Figure-wise I've never been happier with myself, but I still see big room for improvement. My biceps are (for me) enormous and my stomach line's decreasing almost every day providing I can resist the urges I get to eat packets of crisps (and McCoy's Salt and Vinegear will be my undoing if I'm not careful). A friend of mine said I had 'thighs like rock' when he was giving me a piggy-back. I think that's a good thing ^_^; So much so have I been pleased with myself that I boght a slew of new clothes ^______^ They're very pretty and make me look muchly more so, too. I have discovered the trill of BOOT-CUT JEANS. These are actually the best things in the world... except for the button-fly. It takes me about ten minutes longer to go to the toilet now because I have to wrestle with these awkward metal buttons that are twice as big as the hole they're trying to fit through. But once they're done up I think I look lovely in them ^_^ And I have three new Cyberdog tops. Yum! Backwards from my Future I'm not going to Drama School next year. This is a decision on my part, because I don't feel it's actually going to teach me anything I don't already know or can improve upon here, and it'll save me thousands o pounds' worth on tuition fees. Instead I'm going to get a job and do short courses here to help build on the skills I already have and apply for an agent to (fingers crossed) get me jobs. There was something about waiting to hear my results at the audition that just felt... wrong. I was almost more scared of hearing that I was going to get in than if I wasn't. Course, I was annoyed to start with, but now I'm actually more content with not going and building on my skills until I know what I do want to do. It may be the case that I go in a year or two's time, but not right now. Besides, it means I can get to Anime Expo 2006, God willing ^_~ The Sorrow of Losing the Object of one's Dependence ^ Evangelion OST III track name Despite the physical pain I've been feeling recently, emotionally I think I've suffered from even greater tiredness. Lots of different things have been pulling me in so many different directions that, if I think about it, I barely know where I stand any more. And I think a lot of that comes from not having MyO to talk into. I've noticed myself becoming a lot more internally aggressive towards other people. Friends, people I know well, others I've never even seen before. I hate it. I just have this internal monologue of thought running across my brain that sometimes is just... not me. It's not what I want to think, yet it appears anyway. I hate judging people (usually other drivers) without even knowing the full extent of a situation. It's stress and it's not going to leave me alone until I can rest properly. I've been lonely. Perhaps the biggest single feeling I can comment on over the past few weeks has been loneliness. Few people here truely understand everything about me, and I don't think many others want to try and get close, either. I'm not saying I want to be surrounded by gushing friends- far from it. But from time to time I just feel so isolated. Even in a room full of close friends, I can feel utterly alone. And I think I know why. But enough of that, heh. I'm okay, really ^_^ Just tired. Technology is not my friend My computer's behaving very erratically. There's a chance my monitor will suddenly decide to stop working, and that coupled with the fact that I'm not always guaranteed to be able to get onto Otaku sites is the main reason why when I have had time to do things here, I haven't. It's been so frustrating. Morrowind finally works, though. Not that I've played it in weeks... My car is... um... still here. I've done a lot of driving recently and the car knows it. Sometimes it develops an urge to stall whenever I put the clutch down in first or second gear, proving itself to be a right royal pain in the arse when trying to do anything practical with it. It still has no radio and is also completely covered in the proverbial which birds insist on dropping onto it from the oaks flanking our driveway. I don't park it underneath trees any more. Anime-me-me! I like Chrono Crusade ^_^ I'm intending to start buying the Fullmetal Alchemist and Chobits DVDs sometime, too. If anyone can give me their views on what the two series are like, it'd be much appreciated. I'm trying not to spend as much money as I have before, though. I keep sucking it from my parents, and I hate it. I've even taken to making my own sandwiches before I go to college, which is no joke last thing at night or first thing in the morning >.>; I haven't bought any more games recently. Phantasy Star's been enough fun for the while, and when it eventually tires itself out I'll consider Timesplitters: Fture Perfect. but it's not exact high on my priorities right now ^_^; Amusing Muses Erm... Nazreal's coming along... albeit very slowly. I've still not written anything else down, except change Kyru's surname to something less clicheed. And I've gotten rid of some ideas that were proving to make the whole thing too complicated. At the moment I'm trying to work out the end of the story, as once I know exactly what it is that the city contains, how it got to where it was and where Faron fits in then the rest of the story will unfold well. It's just that one tiny detail of where the city's power comes from in the first place. I think that's about it, heh. That's quite an update ^_^; *hugs and snogs* See you all soon ^_________^ *skips away*

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Reason

Well, seeing as the boards are down for the moment and I actually have a day off *almost dies of shock*, I can write an update. Although I don't want to just spout off about anything, so I'll give a list of stuffs that have happened or that I've been involved with over the past month or so and you can choose what you'd like to hear. At least I know I won't be quite so boring then ^_~ -College (including Gilgamesh and Macbeth) -Karate (incl. my grading) -My physical being -My emotional being -Filming -Future prospects (mine, not the RPG. Sorry Wondershot) -Writings -My car -My computer -My anime/game collection It feels really weird to be writing back here again. I know I've missed it, but at the same time I was afraid of coming back. A few nights ago I felt a terrible homesickness for OB and MyO and everyone here but there was no way I could get on to see you. At least I have a chance now. Anyway, more when it's asked for. I don't want to get ahead of myself ^_^; Sorry I'm late. EDIT: I've just discovered that I can't view comments, and I'm guessing this isn't just me so... I'll go into detail about things in a bit. But if there's something specific you want to know about more than everything else, PM. I don't get many, but I always appreciate them ^_^ Hoobastank- Reason (I heard this song on the way up to my East 15 audition. It's really nce ^_^) I'm not a perfect person There's many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you I'm sorry that I hurt you It's something I must live with everyday And all the pain I put you through I wish that I could take it all away And be the one who catches all your tears Thats why I need you to hear I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you I'm not a perfect person I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new and the reason is you I've found a reason to show A side of me you didn't know A reason for all that I do And the reason is you

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

I know I need to update but I haven't (and still don't) really have the energy, heh. It's been a very tiring few days, and I'm out all day tomorrow, too. I shouldn't have signed myself up to so many commitments, heh. Still, only nine weeks of college left... Bigger, more comrehensive update soon. *hugs* Solo out, for the moment.

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