Thursday, October 30, 2003

Home from Home

I can now understand the irritation of losing a post incredibly important to you Just as I was about to copy this the PC crashed, losing an hour's worth of typing. I wasn't even online >_<; Anyway, I've been away for the last two days, heh. I've been up to see Heather (aka Pyrophobic) in St Albans ^_^ I guess now I should probably reveal that we'd make another 'proper' OB couple, a la The Harlequin and Ravenstorture. It's not the best-situationed relationship, granted- only being able to see each other every six weeks or so is extremely frustrating. But... things like that tend to become less of a problem if you're willing to give it everything you have. In all I had a really good time. It's always great to see her again. And this time wasn't under so much pressure, too- staying the night meant I didn't have to fit in six hours of train journey in one day on top of the socialising. The train journey up was remarkably unremarkable. The weather here's rather disgusting; it was on the way back this evening, too. We went shopping first ^_^ She took me to Chaos City Comics- a fantastic little import shop with toys and hundreds of comics/manga. I was tempted to get a .hack// manga but having to read it backwards made me want to think about it more carefully. I did pick up a Raigeki from the store though ^_^ Geeky me. Still, I had need and want of one, so I'm very glad Heather took me there, hehe. For most of the afternoon we sat watching The Matrix Reloaded, making funny jokes about it. I'll probably be giving little sniggers all througout Revolutions now ^_^; The MTV Movie Awards parody was very good. Nightclubs are not for me. Heather'd been invited to a party at the Adelaide nightclub, which we previously went to to find out where it was. The fact that it was a nightclub put the shivers of apprehension up me immediately, and as it turns out... ...it was certainly an experience, for want of a better word. Although the look of the place surprised me somewhat. I expected it to be fairly large; this looked more like a converted living-room. With lightsabers strapped to the ceiling and irritating mirror lights. I have now been IDed. The bouncers had more beef than a butcher, and one branded my hand with a big black 'X', which I still don't understand the meaning of. Aparrently it meant I could get served drinks, but later on I was stamped with a wine glass stamp, which someone told me meant I couldn't drink o_O; Not that it mattered anyway- I had no intention of going anywhere near the bar (which admittedly was rather hard in such a small room). Whenever someone (usually Heather) asked me if I was alright I was tempted to say 'Yeah, just absorbing the atmosphere'... the problem is that's exactly what I was doing, albeit unintentionally. So many people were smoking cigarettes. My jumper still stinks of smoke. Then there were the guys smoking cigars. One bloke made a huge song and dance about breathing out ever time he took a puff, rearing back his head and pouting. I wasn't impressed. We left early; at about 10. It was supposed to go until 1:30am, but I can't understand how anyone could withstand that much deafening music. In that situation you can dance a bit if everyone else breathes in, but you can't actually hold a conversation. Small talk becomes yodelling very quickly before and for a long time after entering the club. The one good part about that was getting two hugs from Heather. I really needed them, just to know that I wasn't entirely alone in how I was feeling at the time. Although because of all the noise distortion I kept thinking she was saying something and pulled away to hear her, only to find she hadn't said anything at all, which made things rather awkward >_<; I couldn't even explain that was why I'd pulled away because of all the noise- I'd have happily stayed there all night otherwise. After a warm taxi-ride home we watched music videos, and again made funny jokes, heh. Daniel Beddingfield's was the funniest. I slept very well, despite having a very bizarre dream involving ducks escaping from a hole in the wall. The next morning we went for a walk around Highfield Park and Oaklands College, which was nice. I love trees in the autumn, even if the grass looks a bit messy with wet leaf-litter. Princess Mononoke never ceases to amaze me, and I've seen it four times now. If anyone's not seen it, do so as soon as you have the opportunity. It's not as cute as Spirited Away, but just as excting and thought-provoking. We were very quiet for the rest of the day. Heather was rather tired though, so I can't blame her. Not that I would anyway, heh. Being able to see her is great enough. Meeting up with someone you don't always see doesn't have to be an adrenalin-filled activity-fest- simple companionship is just as important. I missed her even before I got onto the platform. It was a long walk to the station and meant I was cutting it pretty fine, but I'm glad we did walk instead of taking the bus. We didn't get much time to say goodbye in the end, but I was glad to be spending just that little bit more time with her. I managed to keep myself held in though, lonely as I suddenly felt. Through various emotions and conversations floating round my head on the train journey back, I was inspired to write the below poem. Going Solo I see you there, Your smile draws me to you. I stand in quiet awe At the love you give me. Going Solo- No-one wants to be alone. But if you take my hand And hold me close I will never let you go. We didn't talk much, Though words touched our lips. Sometimes silence can be As expressive as words. Far from indifference, The words I try to say Will never do me justice. If I could show you my heart You'd understand what I mean. Going Solo- No-one knows what they have to face. Just have faith in yourself; Your strength runs deeper Than you may know. Going Solo- No-one wants to make that choice. But if you take my love And hold it close You will never be alone.

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