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Saturday, August 7, 2004


Day of Rest
I didnt go to Petworth House today.

I woke up at about 3:50am, having suffered a rather disturbing nightmare that left me in a less than comfortable feeling. I guess that should have been my first clue that something wasn't right.

I didn't really want to go anyway, but I was gearing myself up for it. The problem was, I didn't get back to sleep until something past five, and my alarm was set for 6:05. So when it went off, I crawled over to my clock and silenced it, before attempting to pull on my Mediaeval outfit.

It was a real struggle- my hands weren't doing what they were told and I felt incredibly dizzy. I told Mum, who said that if I felt like this now, going for an hour long car journey and standing about in black for three hours wasn't going to do me any good.

I went back to sleep, feeling a little stupid for not being able to help. Yes, it's the first reenactment event I've had off in well over 18 months, but I feel bad that I'm not helping as much as I could be.

Mum thinks I've been overworking myself and that I'm suffering from exhaustion. She's probably right, but I still want to be able to do the things I've committed myself to.

I don't know whether I'll be going tomorrow. I'll rest as much as possible, but it's looking doubtful.

I wish I could make myself physically stronger. Well, I know I can, but it takes time. But if I do any kind of exercises now, the chances are I'd keel over. Ah well.

Grarr, I hate feeling sorry for myself >_<; It's badbadbad. Severely. And I don't even have a problem. I'm just a little unwell.

I have some writing I can do, so it's not like I'm completely incapacitated anyway.

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