myOtaku.com: Solo Tremaine

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-07-23
Gender
• Male
Location
• Chichester, England
Member Since
• 2003-08-04
Occupation
• Ex-OtakuBoards Team Miyazaki Leader, Actor, Writer, Director, Stage Combatant...
Real Name
• N/A

Personal

Achievements
• Becoming a Moderator on OtakuBoards, starting up my own production company with my best friend Dan.
Anime Fan Since
• I liked the Mysterious Cities of Gold before I did Pokemon, but Pokemon was the first Japanese Anime I really liked.
Favorite Anime
• Digimon, Wolf's Rain, Mysterious Cities of Gold, Outlaw Star, RahXephon, Zoids, Princess Mononoke, Trigun, Howl's Moving Castle, Bleach, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, One Piece, Fruits Basket
Goals
• To write my series of stories, and to act in cool stuff.
Hobbies
• Writing, acting, anime, GameCube, Wii, swordfighting
Talents
• Stage combat, writing, acting, being vaguely humourous, and listening.

myOtaku.com: Solo Tremaine

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Please tell me the way to the sky...

Thank you everyone. I can't express how much it really means to have you behind me, but it's a heck of a lot, and that in spades. I owe many people many things ^___^

Today was more interesting than the last few days, which helped ease things a bit. Although I still feel as if there's only one or two people at college I can really, properly call 'friends', it's easier to deal with if you can distract yourself with something you enjoy.

Of course, reminding yourelf of friends in other places is never a bad thing either ^_~ *hugs* But when you spend most of your day around other groups of friends who all mingle and interact, there is a tendency to feel somewhat extraneous to everything.

The thing is, I don't consider myself an antisocial person. I love company, but I tend to listen more than I talk which doesn't lead me to get noticed and picked up much on a group scale- one to ones I'm fine with, but any groups larger than about five and I often find myself getting left out unless there's someone there I feel particularly close to. As friendly and fun as people can be, they don't always realise how much someone else could be feeling excluded. I'm very conscious of people who aren't doing or saying anything or seem fairly detached from everything else and I'll do my best to include them as much as I can, or at least make sure they're okay.

Out of Whack
Do you have any particular fantasies that you play over in your mind? Perhaps not a specific event that you want to happen, but a scenario or emotion that interests you particularly? Oddly enough, when I picture myself talking to someone in an imaginary situation about something I feel internally very strongly about, I'll imagine myself to be crying.

And I can gear myself up for these conversations happening in real life and I can almost convince myself that I'll burst into tears. In a way I've wanted to for about three years but nothing's ever happened- I feel moderately resentful for that, especially as I see characters in anime crying their hearts out bloody left, right and centre.

But when it gets nearer the time... I calm down, and I figuratively laugh at myself for wanting to be so melodramatic. I'm not trying to put down people who do cry- more often than not it can't be helped and it's good a have a release of emotion anyway, but wishing for yourself to break down in such a way just seems... silly, in a way.

But then again, being able to feel so strongly about something that it does happen seems appealing to me. I've always been open, but some of the more important things I feel I need to say get left behind. What do you think- does crying make you appear stronger, or does holding it in retain a better resolve?

I guess it would depend on the situation and how you go about dealing with it. Regardless of your outward display of emotion, your inner feelings, drives and motivations will always speak more about you than anything else. Perhaps I've been looking at this too superficially, heh.

Must eat now. Thank you again- for the hugs and figurative kicks up the arse. I need both, I know I do. I'm tired of being depressed, heh.

*smiles again*

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