Thursday, July 19, 2007

Mood: Crappy
Date: 12:00 Thursday July 19th

Believe me when I say I wish my stepmother would die. If it wasn't for that 50 year old chainsmoking aneroxic alchoholic whom still wears Victoria Secrets my life would be a hell of a lot better. Yesterday I had to work. They know that because It's the same week the same time. I came out of my room didn't see any lights on in the house, the doors in the same place they were when dad left the house so I figured she went with him and I left for work. I get there my dad's there sitting at the bar and the first thing he says "Did you tell Laura you left." ... No because I thought she was with you... I didn't see anyone. His only replly to me was "Oh bullshit, get away from me. Just get lost" You know I hate my father. I don't ask for shit from him or anything. I see him 5 minutes out of the day and he treats me like I'm despare itself which he as told me before. I'm despare...
I remember I was depressed back in 9th grade and wrote a poem on that. Though I lose it saddly... Hmm let me see if I can find that because I have an idea of where it is.
Ohp, nevermind I don't even have to look for it. I forgot I wrote it on my memory box. Only problem is reading the smudged sharpie when everything it written in a different language. The language is hard enough... now that it's smeared it's even harder XD. [I do that so no one else can read it if you're wondering]

I feel like I am nothing but a mere blank page,
only here to contradict and question
I am despair. I am hatred. I am cold and heartless.
I am evil. I am worthless. I am..
a daughter...

These are the names I have been given.
Given by people.
People who demand but do not give.
Tyrants.

Who am I to give them a name?
I am despair, am I not?
Then they must be light.
are people of light actually dark?
are people of dark actually light?
It is a case of right verses right.

It's actually a hell long poem which drags on for about 7x that length still unfinished but it really said what I felt then, now, and always. It's an epic I call cat tails. lol

Thank you guys so much for your words yesterday. I will try to take a break from all arts though it is rather hard since I love it so much. Also sorry this is rather long too. I do not believe I have written so much in some time.

Comments Back: angel kat- I don't recall you nagging but okay lol^^; lifes burden- The drawings were "okay". Though for my to be proud of something enought where I could post it takes more then what I had. Plus I wouldn't want to delete a better fan art for something of less quality. I don't like having more the none page of fan art so I delete one when I add another. The picture of the palm tree yesterday was one down the street. I live on... what's like a private island. Not many people live back where I do but you have to cross a small bridge to get to it and there are many palm trees there. I'm not a liar, i'm not a perfectionist lol you make yourself sound 60! PinkChii009- Why .... did you draw L eating a dead baby? ._. And you're not a bad dancer! XD JD Person- your theme is not bad! why do you say that?! The Dark Hero- I like to see what other people think though that is why I poll. I will kill you if you call me a nerd again >> nel- I know where you icon's from!!!!!! XD it's from the movie Hitch. knightwolfgirl- you FINALLY updated before commenting... wow... myricle. haha I can do layouts but honestly at the moment i'm dryed out. I have no ideas... THAT'S WHY I'M STRESSING WITH THIS ARTIST BLOCK. XDDDD randomized05- ... *runs away with your shirt* Rahahaha! =D ... you know if anyone else read this part of the comments back they'd think i was some kind of rapist.... and i should not be typing this because it'll only make it worse. haha okay go to kohls and get me that shirt! it's so cute! XD FF 333- you lost the poll..... XD you'll live! it's just easy to make you smile. Crimson-Rose- oooooooo draw miyavi! no stick figures! XD *pets the shinya* ... you know... you told me last night and i ALREADY forgot your name. haha *shall just be calling your Rose* meh.. i can't remember crap lately lol yes i live on a beach. Redblaze- I hope you're doing well or better then last night hopefully *hugs* lordsesshomaru- You are on this ice... *pushes you onto thinner ice* and Fondle Underwear to you too! XDDD and you know me chris. I couldn't stick with a theme for a month if it killed me. lol SessLover18- I tried those colors too but it didn't work out for some strange reason..... I don't know I'll try later. I will settle for yellow for now.

Avi of the day: #87

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