Monday, February 18, 2008

Mood: Nervous
Date: 9:01 Monday 2/18/08
Days since last post: 1

I KNOW THERE IS A LOT OF WRITING =_= come on i haven't been here in awhile and yada yada drama.

Moving
My dad is giving one last attempt to make me feel guilty about moving. It's a little annoying. He told me to keep my car even though it's in his name. I told him I would only take it if it's in mine because i don't want anything to do with him anymore and that would be his way to keep a tab on me.. Then he told me no and said such: "if i put it in your name you'll think you're god and can do what you want with it. no because someone's got to tell you that you are not free and you're going to do what i tell you to" Something like that but a little harsher. I was so mad I told him to shut up and nearly walked out of the resturant on him. He gets on my last nerve sometimes. Do not ever tell me I can't do something. I will do it just to defy you.
I'll admit i'm afraid to move up there. The people are a little... well just say judgemental.

Addiction
When you are in a family and have a family history of alchoholics or any other type of addiction the child has a better chance of becoming one as well and is a lot more vulnerable to addictions.
I've noticed... and this is really bad- that I am starting to get like them too. I always told myself, no i'll never drink, smoke or do drugs.
And I don't do the last two ....nvm the middle one (will explain) but i am just seeing myself headed that way and i'll get worse and worse.
I remember at first it starting out as just trying my sisters' drink that they would randomly make to try something new and most of them were too strong for me anyway. it started with just sips then to really having a whole one. I realized at a party last weekend at my mom's house that i'm getting exactly like the rest of my family which is not cool at all. I mean my sister basically took a smirnoff and put it in a red solo cup with ice and told me to call it a sprite. and I did. A friend of mine found out about it later then got mad at me because she couldn't have one. A good reason. First of all when I drink, it's not obvious. I have a fiveminute thing like i'm in a good mood then that's it. I don't get hangovers or to where i can't remember. She does. It's just weird and I know I need to stop because i'm only 16 and if i'm doing it this early then it's going to be really bad later.

and about the drug thing, i've noticed i've over dosed twice in the past two weeks. Not like on purpose but then again not on accident. Meaning not to harm myself but it turns out doing such. I need to quit doing that. I've just noticed that when i take like one pill for ambien, nothing happens. So I tired two and I will never do that again. It screws you up so bad. I mean just taking more then you should with benadryl killed me earlyer because I couldn't hardly control my eyes. The benadryl was for a spiderbite(maybe?) which is like swolen and getting worse and worse so I had reason to. I don't know.

Comments Back: Can't remember your last comment? Click Here! Someguy- ohh I love you so much for telling me about the commenting thing. I must have missed the memo. ima loser baby- Calculator BAD xDDDD Fantasy Hearts- Second nature... yeah but i mean people can still figure this stuff out <_< it's sad when I have to explain what an address bar is though. voiceinmyhead- with your cuteness you almost had me giving in but no xD you can do it! you are smart! hehe Master Kinkos- you're dising your sister! xD Koon- That's what I aim for sometimes >D auska-104- yeah that would be a good name haha d.e.a.t.h. b.y. c.a.l.c.u.l.a.t.o.r. Crimson-Rose- you are the only one to notice the layout change xD guddosyal- Why's your site turned off? innocent heart- *steals your calculator* xD Kimmehwolfwood- Kimmerz we all have days (in my case sometimes weeks haha) like that, i don't mind it even if you don't read them. I can understand, my post have been kinda long lately. Just way too much to say lol I hope you're doing well.

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