Thursday, March 6, 2008

Mood: Destroyed
Date: 9:35PM Wednesday 3/5/08

At the moment I fell so hopeless. I turn to other people that tell me I exagerate. But I don't think many of you can understand what I feel right now. I swore to never do so many things. I swore I would never smoke. I swore I would never drink. I swore I would never do drugs or anything terrible. But most of all things I swore I would never leave my home. That I would never leave Myotaku. I swore to try.. to do so many things.. to achieve. Everything I have sworn to myself I have failed at promising not to do. The ones that upset me most... I have left my home.. Even right now I cry because I cannot smell the salt in the air. I want to see the sunsets in my charleston, my home. I do not think I can stay away from it much longer. at first I believed that I would be able to with stand it. I had my friends online no need for them in real life... Not so much anymore. Vibrant is here... everyone is excited for it. It is such a wonderful creation I see. but my friends... They have forgotten about where their first home was. I feel like I have wasted four years of my life and now am dying. I miss the old days... oh so much. No one gave a care about new and better. They were happy with what they had. They were happy with eachother.


I went through every guestbook signing I had. I noticed... what was the point in all of this. I wasted four years of my life doing nothing. I waste everything. Majoirty of the people I do not know nor ever did. But for the ones that matter most...

Le kun, you are the first to my mind each time. I may still be so frustrated over you even still. but it makes me smile now.
Lifes burden, any time I'm reminded of you I smile. Always there helping, always there no matter what.
Yensid, you seemed always stressed to me, but everytime i read your writing or saw your dawings I was amazed and I think I will always be-
blink.. oh blink you were the first i met here. You never returned from your trip it seems and I wish I could see you one last time.
Kimmeh- There is never a dull moment without you kimmerz.
Crimson-Rose- One day you will be there. You will reach your goal. I am very proud to be your friend.
Master Hiko- Someone always so sure of himself and never fails his friends.
Lordsesshomaru-, of all people you always could make me laugh. Even when I thought it was not possible you did.
Kitabug, always doing what is right and never seem to give up, you would be one of the most richeous people i have ever met.
Caprice, I don't even know if you are still around.No matter what you were always busy... I miss learning so much from you
Shishou, if ever there was a person I met so fast that became my sister it was you.
lenaisy it was you I first learned so much from. It seems like if I hadn't met you I would know nothing... you and chibim and sesslover...
Sesslover- there was never a moment you didn't surprise me. I remember trying so hard to be just as good as you. Eventually you pushed me hard enough and i am glad to say you are my mother online haha
Chibim- You always seemed to astound me, all of us did such amazing things. and It was never for the hits... votes... signings... comments... it was for our imagionations to run wild with ideas we had. It was wonderful days and nights.
Someguy I don't believe there was ever a time when you dulled me.. when you write it is like everyone stops talking and listens. You have that effect on people, use it to your advantage when you need it.
time chaser- I would say the same goes for you it does James. You two alike have that ability to catch peoples attention and hold on to them.
Ryocite- If It were not for you I would not be where I am today. To make whatever comes to my mind.
Witchunterfan Too long has it been since i've seen you, you were one of the first people i had met here. You always impressed me no matter what
pommiesmanga- If you ever read this, i remember when we first met. It was four years ago maybe even more.. In a chatroom if i'm right. one of the first people I had ever met online, I am glad I still have the privledge to know you.
Cooly Fooly- You were always crazy I remember that much haha But I enjoyed knowing you because you always cheered me up so much.
alphonse13- I think you've come just as far as I have, do you ever get nostalgic too?
inkenyo2.0- I remember you, we were friends for so long and must have lost touch with eachother. I wish to see you again sometime soon.
grey wolf- It is a small world after all you could say.
rinoasquall4ever you have been gone so long, near a year. I wish to see you again when you return.
blue hawlk So much fun but even if you were to read this you'd never know who it was. When you and yuna always picked on me for fun, i remember that, and it was really funny actually. I would give so much to go back to that. it seems like you can never go back for some reason. the first time was always right, you can't do it again after that.
AnimeFanasy once a jrocker always a jrocker.
grimreaper666 i remember you always tried to scare people, that was so funny sometimes. lol
yoko bandit- I can't remember much but I remember your name, it was always clever and reminded me of the first time i saw what yoko looked like.
EdwardElricthe2nd We raced and raced and raced and where did our time go?
hishymam shark you always drop in for a quick hello... i never did give them to you. i should have, i'm sorry.
shadowmalerenamon- I can't remember much anymore about you but i remember your wolf picture you had. That always reminded me of you, no matter where i saw a wolf like that lol i wish we would have spent more time toether.
Midnight mistral always poking fun and laughing it seemed like haha but i think the most fun times were pming eachother convorsations.
BlueAngel4- I don't know if you know it but we always hung out in the chatboxes together a long time ago.
bebopinutrigun- I've admired everything you've made. One in particular was the page with fu from samurai champloo. That always cought my attention and i remember it everytime i see that picture now.
jigglyness it really has been too long hasn't it.
mokies lil ladie- can you believe this was your first name? you've come so far... and maybe grown an inch taller. haha
gold rogger15- it was just about a year and a half ago that you signed my guestbook on myo. lol hard to believe it's been so long since 8th grade. I miss you guys back home so much.
ryoko 1000- I remember the icon you had clear as if it were yesterday the day i met you.
Miss anonymous you always seemed to be here or there commenting, I haven't seen you in so long i miss you! haha
Lunarj- I always had a reading problem. I hated fanfictions with a passion but I really got into yours and loved them very much.
ishbal-masacre- I will never forget you having pacman and i was never able to beat it.
Hinaru- Your pages always inspired me. You were always so good as dark themes and I never had the ability to do that. lol
Moniquiu- One day you will be a well known artist if you are not already lol for the time i knew you, everything you created made me so depressed because i looked at it in awe but know i could never do something like it myself.
Madnus lensherr- You always had a way with your clever little spiders and I loved them xD They cheer people up. You are always their for your friends and i believe your friends will always be there for you.
PinkChii009- pink chii you crazy ass haha I will always remember you dancing xD
Twilight Samurai- Hey bro lol shortest ones mean the most don't they?
cloud strife 7777- "I hope we can become really good friends" I think you are more my brother then a friend. lol
Shultzie- John! haha I don't think anything's going to seperate us really <_<
Rioben- always creative and full on energy. I envy you constantly.
J Briones- Kill me laughing every time. The jumping out the window icon of yours never got old lol
Ziet- Every post you had always included a jpop or jrock video. lol You are one of the main reasons why i got into jrock in the first place.
Addicted-to-jrock- Always the best icons and ideas... and come backs haha just kidding.
tomieharley- I remember your initial D background so long ago. that is what got me to your page haha but after reading your posts i saw you were a really cool person. i'm sorry you had to go but when you come back i'd like to chat.
TalimSoul- Ha! i've been waiting to do yours! not that i have any idea what to put. I hope you and Tony are happy together though lol Good luck.
Yuna2004- YOU LOSER! my loser xD you and blue were always so fun.
Em Yeu Anh- you used to say i'm the one the inspired you, but i think it is the other way around lol yes it is.
LGA775 $200 colored pencils did sure seem expensive lol
Uriel I think you could always tell who I was.
Koon- short sweet and to the point but always making me laugh haha
the next FLCL- one day you'll get somewhere, just keep going at it lol
ima loser baby- i don't think i'll actually ever meet you but we're not too far. if you ever need anything-



I think I was just too many people. I know nearly everyone here even if they do not know me.
Jade Nishigaki
Jae Dior
Jordan Dollason
West Hutchinson
Ae-
Somegirl
Tachikara
Toxyu
morimoto
cyberbird... only few names I go by that people will recgonize most.

I think It'll be alright. After awhile I don't know where I'll be. May just have to see.








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