Wednesday, July 13, 2005

   bad dream
ok i really had a bad dream last night and i mean i never dream (i dont believe those idoits from the blue room) here it goes

ok it was my b-day and i got 2 bottles of lotion from my dad (parents are seperated it sucks)and i got a suprise party (camping joy ugh) so we are in a giant tent or something and i was excluded the whole time from all of my friends i was litterly in a corner and until again sry mom woke up~ eek 2:00 am
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ok back
it's 12:30 pm now *yawn*
ok where was i??? oh yeah

well we all decided to pack up the next day and get in the truck and go home (everyone had left) and my mom, dad, and my aunt and uncle floyd were in the car and i went to go get my paintings that i do on plexie glass al the time (abstractie anime stuff) and they were by our boat which we were not taking (why i dont know) so i grab them and head by my dad which is standing by the truck and somehow he gets really mad and we are fiting anad he ripps my best picture from my hands and starts beating it on the edg of the truck trying to break it and i am hitting him with the onther ne trying to tell him to stop and i am crying litterly and then hear a snap and my picture brike in half and then i was saying i hate you but i couldn't and insted i was "i ae ou" and then i woke up and i was crying for real *sniff* (i never really liked my parents honest ever sence the split up i have hated them for every min except my dad and then i found out that he was just useing me to get what he wanted (to get him another wife 1 month after he divorced my mom, stop paying my school(and he still acts like he is poor(i know he isn't)) and also other things) but i found that out a day befor i had the dream so.....
IF YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO SPLIT UP SHOW THEM THINS!!! lol jk
cause u dont want that to happen really you may think it is good,and so did i, but dont because once they do it is like there is no one there for you
i used to rely on my cousins for fun to being a smile to my life but they started to make excuses why they didn't want to come over
i had a few friends but they wern't enough they wern't really friends they were just people to hang out with
although it did make me feel better when i was invited to a slumber surprise party out of 47 people i was one of 11 (but it was really her mom inviting me(she likes me because i never carry a frown on my face lol(not when she is there))
actually i have a friendship with the school's librarrian lol I DONT EVEN READ!!!! i have only read 2 chap books front to back with out skipping or guessing. no i would just go to the lib. and say hi i was also the editor of the news paper (funny I CANT SPELL EITHER!!) when she wasn't there it was so boring
then (i have never spoken about this before) but in about the 7th grade i was seeing people (not like ona date someone who was not there)(it is hard to explain with out sounding crazy) lol but they were all anime characters that would know me~ one that i would talk too most was tsucasa.
then doing that i learned that my grades in school were slipping and most of the teachers noticed it oh no
well i got out of that with a 55 on a math exam and i got to leave the schoo finding out my dad just didn't want to pay for it
so over all my life really sucks!
so i try to make friends^^
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