Friday, April 1, 2005

   Cream Filling & Nougat: Fourth Awesome, Krazy Enterprise(!!!)
It was a wet spring day, with puddles of water scattered along the sides of the roads. For the most part the afternoon was surprisingly quiet, and the streets and sidewalks were basically empty on account of the weather. Of course, a little rain was never going to be enough to keep two particular detectives from getting lunch from the nearby hotdog stand during their break . . .

"Two cheese smokies," Cream said to the vendor who went on to drop two buns into the cart's steamer.
"Hoho," the older detective laughed, "splurgin' on the fancy ones, huh?" Cream turned around and smirked.
"Hey," he said, "I'm in a generous mood, don't press your luck, yo." The two of them laughed a little more as the water dripped rhythmically from the cart's large red and green umbrella above them.

"Alright, what would you officers like to drink?" the vendor asked. Cream asked for an ice tea; Nougat thought for a moment.
"Come on old man," Cream chided him, "it's not the most important decision in the world, y'know." Nougat shot back with a glare and a smirk.
"Ah shaddap," he responded bluntly. The younger detective could only laugh more.

The vendor finally handed over the smokies and the two walked around to the side of the cart for their toppings.
"A little preoccupied with the case still, Noug'?" Cream asked.
"A little, yeah," Nougat replied while he sprinkled diced onions across his lunch. "The whole cryssal thing's gotten kinda quiet lately, so that's got me worried . . . . . gonna be harder to root 'em out, y'know."
"Yeah, I know," Cream agreed as he lifted his hotdog to take a bite . . .

Immediately before Cream could take a bite, Nougat slapped the hotdog out of his hand, sending it spattering against the curb.
"Hey! I paid for that this time!" he said, agitated.
"Whip', why the crap was your smokie moving?!" Nougat exclaimed. Cream's confusion turned to shock and revulsion as he looked at what was left of his lunch: between the bun wriggled a dozen large nightcrawlers where his smokie had just been prior. The young detective gagged once again before turning away from the sauce-covered worms.
"Holy geez, what the suck was that?!" he shouted as he looked directly at the hotdog vendor. Nougat looked at his own smokie; sure enough, a mass of soft bugs had replaced his lunch. It took little time for him to throw his bun to the ground and approach the vendor as well.

"Sir," Nougat said sternly, "I think you have some explaining to do." Cream could only stand by, still highly agitated by the previous events; Nougat swore he could already see his partner reaching for his firearm. The vendor laughed quietly as he lifted his head.
"Well," he said, "I guess there's no sense in keeping up the charade . . ." With that, the vendor raised his palms and motioned with his fingers. The puzzled detectives did not have think for too long about the action - behind them they could see worms uprooting from the cracks in the ground around them, making their way closer.

"Okay, um . . . what the suck is going on, Noug'?" Cream said, shaking. Nougat shrugged.
"I'll tell ya after I figure it . . . hey!" Nougat's words were cut short when he saw the vendor pick up the small steak knife next to the cart's steamer and lunge at them. As if by instinct, Nougat squeezed off two rounds into the deranged vendor - he dropped face first into the top of the grill, searing his face with a squealing hiss before sliding down behind the cart. Around them, the worms stopped crawling together and began moving around randomly. Cream and Nougat could only exhale a sigh of relief.

Cream kicked the remains of his lunch as far into the street as possible before sliding down to the wet ground with his back against the front of the cart - the other officer followed suit shortly after.
"Noug', that was the grossest thing I have ever experienced . . ." Cream said as he regained his composure. " . . . and that includes riding with you late at night after you've eaten all your damn onions . . . . ." Nougat laughed, though still with a slight shake.
"Any other day, I'd rebut that . . ." he said before clicking his radio to report what had just happened.

As the officer on the other end clicked in, the two officers fell backwards and hit the sidewalk hard with the backs of their heads. Above them, the hotdog cart began dropping, spilling condiments alongside it. Both men shrieked and rolled away before the cart crashed back into the ground with an ear-rending screech of twisting steel. Meanwhile, the worms began closing in around them again . . . Cream and Nougat could only shout and yell obscenities as the events happened.

Floating above the wrecked cart with his arms outstretched, the vendor shrieked, forcing the two detectives to cover their ears momentarily.
"YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME THAT EASILY!" he screeched through his burned, deformed face. "MY CHILDREN MUST FEED!"
"What you say?!" Cream shouted back at him as he drew his own weapon. The vendor cackled again as he started to deform grotesquely even further.
"YOU HAVE NO CHANCE MAKE YOUR TIME!" the creature shouted, "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!"

Both officers fired large volleys into the center mass of the screaming creature to no avail. Nougat went on to fire another round into the former street vendor's head - the exiting round took much along with it, and bits of flesh dropped from the sky with the rain . . . the creature continued to cackle while green blood streamed from its wounds.
"HA HA HA HA!" it cackled again.

It was at that point that the front line of worms touched at their legs. It only felt like a heavy rash, but the two understood exactly what it meant: the bugs were devouring them alive.

Cream began shouting to his partner.
"Noug'! Can you see the propane tank in the cart?!"
"Yeah!" Nougat answered while spying through the wrecked cart and kicking at the worms, "What about it?!"
"Shoot the damn thing!"
"You know that only works in the movies!"
"Just shoot the damn thing!!!"

Nougat levelled his pistol and put a cluster of three rounds through the large tilted tank.
"No explosion! What did I tell ya?!" the older detective forced out as the worms began rising around his waist.
"No explosion yet!" Cream replied before forcing himself out of the mass of critters and diving towards the cart. The former vendor shrieked again and dove down towards the frantic officer . . . Nougat stopped it short with another volley of bullets to its head, stunning and distracting the beast for a few seconds longer.

With that time, Cream had already retrieved the lighter from his pocket, lit it, and thrusted it into the growing stream of propane before the rain could wash it away . . . . .

As Cream lay prone on the ground being swarmed with worms, he tried hard as he could to see the racing flame reach the rest of the propane tank; he ducked and covered his head, so he never got to see the explosion . . .

The propane tank exploded brilliantly, causing the broken cart to belch a large fireball upwards into the creature. The creature shrieked a horrid sound once again as the flames engulfed it, eating away at its demonic body. Though the death scream continued on, the rest of Cream's body shut down as the worms overtook him . . . . .


* * * * * * * * * * *


. . . it was then when the two detectives jolted awake. They were both sitting in Nougat's car, parked against the sidewalk, the rain still pouring down around them. They both looked at each other and then at themselves, touching their bodies for any evidence of what they thought had just occured. All they could hear was the rain on top of the car's roof.

"Hey, Whip'," Nougat said unconfidently, "I'm . . . . . not really hungry right now . . ." Cream nodded.
"Let's just get coffee at the precinct . . ."

As Nougat started the car and pulled out, Cream looked out at the wet, empty street and shivered . . .
"For great justice . . . . ." he sighed . . .




THE END . . .
. . . . . AND APRIL FOOLS!


Oh yeah, you know that girl Color Me Evil? She's pregnant.
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