Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I got a blog at yaplog! It's a Japanese blogging host. I decided to try to use it to practice my Japanese, and update with some random stuff that I'm sure no one will read, but whatever. I don't think half the stuff I say on there makes sense, but maybe one day I'll know enough Japanese to post some real blog entries on there.

I just found the solution to Ginta #2 IM-ing me. It seems that you can block people by going to the Privacy Settings on the AOL browser, although I don't see why people don't just have it in IM settings. >>; I wish I had found out about this earlier. It's really a pain to have to sit there and talk to him while I search for some random site that I haven't seen for ages. I tried being nice before, but that really didn't work out so well. >___>; Especially not since he thinks I'm anorexic and starving to death, not to mention suicidal and slitting my wrists. AND since he followed me everywhere and never stopped blushing when he was around me. Gahhh.... even my mom noticed that he liked me >>;

Anyway, I've imported my RUN&GUN album to my iTunes library. Ahhh, it's idol band pop, but I still listen to it. Some of it makes me feel nostalgic and it makes me miss being at my middle school with all my old friends. Probably because I remember being really obsessed with RUN&GUN back in the beginning of 8th grade. I used to like Ryuchi... xD; Haha. I saw a special on them on popjapan.TV once. I think the youngest member is still 17 or something. But anway, I watched all of the music videos on there... Lay Up!, Loop, Shooting to My Eyes (erm.. don't ask.), Wishing On... They were just another idol band that wasn't Lead or w-inds. It seems like everyone likes Lead or w-inds or both. And it's funny because both Lead and w-inds have a Keita, and they both kind of look alike. XDDDDD

Also. Akahana no Tonakai by Nightmare is sooooo fun to listen to. :D If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll send it to you. And to give you a hint, aka means red, hana means nose, and tonakai means reindeer. >D The other song that's kind of fun to listen to is Colors of the Wind by Acidman. It's a JRock version of that song from the Disney movie Pocahontas. I remember watching it when I was like... 5 or 6 I think. My sister, being the huge Disney fan that she is, walked in when I was listening to it, and looked at me and asked, "O_o; What did they do to it??"

I need to find more Korean music though. So far I only have 6 songs. More Seo Tai Ji would be nice. I have Live Wire... Maybe some more from The Trax, or Moon Hee Jun, and dare I say..... Shinhwa?? o_O;

By the way. I need some things for cosplay purposes. Does anyone know where I can buy/borrow/etc.:
- a top hat
- a tie that looks like hyde's
- gothic lolita/kodana/dandy gothic shoes

OR

Can someone teach me:
- how to pose like Ryuu-chan
- how to look like a dandy gothic
- how to make my hair look like L's

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Monday, July 18, 2005

First off, I'd like to say:

The playlist is up! View it here

Now all I have to do is to import them into my iPod and I'll be set. Feel free to request songs, just not more than 5 per week, please. Dial-up makes it really hard to send a lot of stuff. -___-

That being said, I've discoverd Ellegarden. X3 They're. So. Awesome. I found out that one of their songs is used in one of the animes I watched, called I'll [CKBC]. I always liked that song, and now I have it :D

Well I was on my old AOL screenname today because I needed some of my old favorite places links. So while I was collecting links, I got an IM from Ginta #2 aka Josh - The guy who stalked me and thought I was anorexic and going to kill myself. I didn't know how to block him since I never use AOL to IM people. But yeah... It was weird. He asked how I was doing. And I mentioned something about planning on getting rejected, and cosplay, and how I wish I could look as hot as the people I'm cosplaying as. And how hot Ryuu-chan got in the Sanbika PV. Maybe, just maybe he'll get the picture. But then again, even just telling him, "I don't like you" didn't work, so I don't know why this would work out. Ah, I can't help but try. Especially since he has my phone number. >>;

I think I have the idea for the L posing. But I don't know how I'll do my hair.

I've been playing a lot of DDR in double mode lately, and I still am stuck on standard mode. -____-; one of the problems is that the mats slide around so as the song goes on, I have to spread my feet farther and farther... lol.

Yuki wanted a picture of me and Yuu (aka Brian) together after I told him that I liked him. But I don't think we'll actually start going out or whatever, so I drew a picture for him. Since he said it's like Goth Loli Marmalade Boy and everything..... View it here.

*sigh* It would be nice if we actually did get together... but... I don't want to get my hopes up.

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

iPod, Marmalade Boy, and Cosplay

Keeping up with 4 blogs/sites is hard. Seriously. I have my blog at FT.org, which I update frequently. Not to mention Xanga, deviantART, and myOtaku. o_o; Maybe I should slow down a bit...

Well anyway.

I get to have PURA stickers! :D I just need a big enough image, and some office label sticker things. So..... Neko, we have to go to Office Depot or something when I get there XDDDDDDDDD Now, where will I get the right size image? The one I have is only 50x50 px. But maybe that will work. The stickers aren't going to be that big...

Okay so no cutting my hair for cosplay purposes, I need it long if I'm going to cosply Takenaga (well in that scene anyway). Of course, I still have to figure out how to have L's hair.... hmmm.... If you can teach me, I'd really appreciate it. Maybe a wig. XD; But where am I going to find a wig that looks like L's? Lots of pins like Neko suggested maybe? Eck sounds... hard. Hmm... The rest of the cosplay is so easy.... but the hair is so... not.

And I still need to learn to pose. I tried posing like L and it didn't look that great, so maybe I'll just have to practice it. I don't know how to pose like a Dandy Gothic (and I still need a top hat). And I've lately been watching the Tremolo PV and looking at pictures of Ryuu-chan...eckkkk I'm going to make an awful Ryuu-chan. T.T Maybe it will look better when I'm in the outfit with my skeleton wings (which I have yet to figure out). As for Takenaga poses, Neko told me: "But for the hott Wallflower d00ds, we'll have to travel onto the dark sides of posing our bodies." o_____O;;; Oh.. my... this could be... very... interesting. >_< Lucky for Neko, she gets to be the guy who has to pose like a girl. XD

Oh and... This Marmalade Boy thing is really... ehh. Nachan called me yesterday.....! Gahhh. He was offering to buy me mangas while he was at the bookstore or something. I think. I had to sit there and politely tell him, no, thanks, but it's ok. [I mean, I would have liked to get some manga, but I feel weird about accepting stuff from guys who like me >>;] Or soemthing like that. My parents were sitting right in front of me too. >___>; And people wonder why I don't want guys to like me. As for Yuu, I still plan to get rejected, even though the effects of that would probably be worse. But I don't plan to get rejected by forcing him to anymore, since there's still maybe a 0.0000000001% that he won't. So he'll just have to reject me of his own free will. -o-;

Why couldn't I just shove that page of manga at him, say, "Read the guy's part" and force him to reject me? I mean if he's just going to do that anyway... It's not like I'll die if I don't go out with him. And I'd rather force a guy to reject me than get rejected just because he doesn't like me or something. **strange logic** The only reason I'm not forcing him is because my friends will force me on Nachan if I get rejected. x_x; And that's probably the last thing in the world that I want to do. Gahhh it's all Nachan's fault~~~! ToT No, I can't say that actually. And I don't think I should blame it on my friends either. It's my fault for actually liking Yuu.

I shouldn't like people. And guys shouldn't like me.

I was perfectly happy with my JRock crushes... and without all this drama. -_______-; And to think, all of this at a *nerd* school. I thought, "Surely, there would never be anything like this here." And now look at what's happening. o_O; I'm just going to get rejected and be all depressed about it and things will be awkward between us and then... gahhh it's not worth it. I shouldn't say anything at all. But then... there's that miniscule chance that something will happen and I can't help but hope that it does. *sigh*

I can imagine how it will turn out. When he rejects me, I'll ask him, "Since you rejected me, could you reject me like this? *hands over the page of manga*" And he'll look at it and ask me why. And I won't want to say anything about the bet or Suanko-chan or anything else, so I'll tell him, "Just say it." So he'll look at me kind of in an odd way, and say, "I... hate ugly girls."

But for now, I think I'll move on to a different topic. No use in dwelling over things, right?

So anyway, I've finished importing the last of my data discs onto my iTunes, and it's almost ready to be put into my iPod. I still have 4 more audio discs that I want to import, but that won't take too long. By now, I have 895 songs, which adds up to about 2.6 days of music. And I still will have 25 GB of space left on my iPod. o_O;

The whole playlist thing isn't working out, but I'll make a playlist later on. I'm willing to share music with anyone, so long as it's not too big. It's hard to send things when you're on dial-up. x_x;

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Saturday, July 16, 2005

Cosplay, Pura, and General Insanity

listening to: 12012 - Aren't You Dead Yet?
feeling: Bored~~!

I'm still reading my second book.. of four. I don't think I'll finish in time... ehh I'm going to be failing English 3-4 before school even starts. ;o;

My mom says I have to get my hair cut, so I was thinking about cutting it a little above my shoulder, like Ryuu-chan used to have. But I've thought a lot about it, and I don't think I'll actually cut my hair short enough for L and Ryuu-chan. I'll just tie it back for cosplay purposes. >.>; I don't like big changes or what not, so I'll keep it long. XD But I still have to learn how to pose as Jrockers and Goth Lolis and hot teenage guys and... L [I don't know how to classify him XD]. Neko has to teach me when I get there. Or... someone else~~ teach me before I go! ^^; I know I'll be an awful Goth Loli. It's hard to look evil and serious but cute at the same time. And that shocked look that all the Jrockers have in the magazines is really hard to do and still look good doing it. Hot teenage guys like Takenaga... hmm... I really don't know how I'm supposed to learn to pose like that.. That could be... interesting. xD I'm not even a hot girl, how am I supposed to be a hot guy? o.O;

As for Marmalade Boy-esque stuff... Because I realized that I couldn't get rejected by Yuu since then the azn crew would force me to go out with Nachan, which I really, really don't want, I can't force Yuu to reject me by saying "I hate ugly girls" and win my 30 imaginary dollars from my friend, who seems to think I won't get rejected.. for whatever reason. Of course, if he rejects me anyway, which he probably will, then I have a new problem. x_x; I'm still expecting him to reject me. But this time, I can't force him to reject me. And you know... That really sucks.

The people who know about this think I'm weird for wanting to force him to reject me, but the way I see it... He's going to reject me anyway. But if I can make myself thing that I forced him to and he didn't reject me just because he wanted to, then maybe it will make me feel better. Like I told one of my friends, "It's better to get willingly rejected... if that makes sesne." So yes, my reasoning is probably a little different. But it works. Kind of. Execpt for the Nachan thing, which made me change my plans. XD; If it wasn't for that, I could probably just go through with my plan to shove a page of manga at Yuu in which Sunako-chan gets rejected by that guy, and be like "Hey, I'm her *points at Sunako-chan*. You can be that guy. *points at the guy.*" And then I could say, "I've liked you... since freshman year." And he could say, "I... hate ugly girls." And then after that, I could go tell my friend that I won the bet that he would reject me and collect my 30 imaginary dollars.

Right... well anyway... My mom and dad bought me a new DDR pad becaues my cousin kind of messed up my old one. The old one still works, though, so now I can start to play double mode. I'm still quite awful at it, so I can only play standard, but it's fun ^^;

Lately, I've been listening to Ž]”ü‰Ì a lot. I don't care what all the hardcore Pura fans say about it not being as good as their old stuff. When I first started listening to them their new album, �wcell.�x had just come out, so that's what I listened to. I had no prejudice against their new music and didn't know that they were becoming more pop than rock. And... I liked their new songs. Not to say I don't like thier old stuff, but I like their new music as well. But anyway.... The Sanbika music video... Everyone calls it "disappointing" or "only okay," and I admit, it's not as good as Tsumetai Hikari or Tremolo, but still... It was a good video. As someone said in a forum, "Even though they're only playing thier instruments and singing, and there's not a story in the video, it's not a bad PV. They're doing what a band is supposed to do." Or something like that. I can't remember the exact words. When I watched it, I wasn't extremely impressed with it like I was with Tremolo, but it was nice to watch. And is it just me or did Ryuutarou get... hot? O.o;;; haha. My friend told me she thought he did, too. He changed somehow, but I can't quite figure out what the right word for it is. Before he was always too.. innocent to look hot. But now he looks hot, but still has that same type of innocence he had before. o.O; Haha. I'm confusing myself now...

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

Here's what I wrote on stephii's myspace. It should give a clue to what's going on...

I'm bored.
[Not that I wasn't bored before.]

So I'm going to give you a long comment.
[And little sub-comments in these bracket things. Because I'm so bored.]

LOL the new plan better work better.
[Wait.. does that make sense?]

If it doesn't, then I'm in some trouble.
[Actually I already kind of am.]

My friend from Calle found out about what's going on.
[Bad, bad, bad thing.]

And now she wants me to go out with one of them.
[Preferably Brian. Because I danced with him. And he isn't stalking me.]

So yeah... Not to mention the asian crew desperately wants me to get a boyfriend.
[They say either Brad or Brian. o_o']

Which poses a bigger problem.
[And I really don't want it to come to this...]

If Brian rejects me, then they'll want me to go out with Brad.
[And I have a thing against stalkers.]

So.... yeah.
[What do I do? o_O]

Say hi to Jenny for me.
[I haven't talked to her in so~~ long.]

That's all I can think of..
[So I'm going to click Submit now..]

EDIT: I've submitted a few pieces of art and 2 wallpapers. Please check them out. ^^

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Okay. Well I think I've just confirmed that Brian will reject me. Hopefully. I hope that's not cheating on the bet. Julien helped me plan it out. She'll be there with me when I tell him, so if anything goes wrong then she'll help out.

ME: "Brian, I'm going to say something to you. And you have to reject me. Or else it will ruin my plans. *points at Suanko-chan* I'm her, ok? *points at the guy* You can be him. 'I've liked you.. since freshman year.'"

BRIAN: "'I... hate ugly girls.'"

The only problem is if he's too nice to say "I.. hate ugly girls" or if he figures out just what my plan is.

But whatever.

I wouldn't mind if he didn't reject me. But he will. So there's no point in trying. Besides, like I said to Alan, it's better to willingly get rejected. If that's possible.

When I do get rejected, I'll probably still be disappointed whether I was expecting it or not. I suppose I really am hoping he won't reject me. But I've already gotten my friend to come with me so that she can make him reject me if he doesn't at first.

Even if I don't force him to, he'll reject me anyway. So, I may as well make him reject me. Since it will be easier on me if I convince myself that he rejected me because I asked him to.

It's not like I was ever expecting anything different.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm going to win that bet. I want my 10 imaginary dollars. Maybe even 30. xD

If he says, "I... hate ugly girls," then I get 30.

But if he doesn't reject me, then Alan gets 30. Unless there's the weird occasion that Brian doesn't reject me, but *does* say "I.. hate ugly girls," then he only gets 10. But then again, why would he say that, but not reject me? o_O;

Aura told me he has a feeling that Brian won't reject me, but I don't know. And he wants to know what I'll do if he *doesn't* reject me.

But the way I see it, there's no real point in thinking about, "What if he doesn't reject me?" since he really is going to. I'll win that bet, Alan! >D

Seriously though. Somewhere back in the corner of my mind I'm hoping to lose the bet. But it won't happen so...yeah.

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Monday, July 11, 2005

I just watched the last episode of Sekai no Chuushin de, Ai wo Sakebu on TV today! It was so sad. I almost cried. T____T

I command you to go download it and watch it! It's so romantic~ And I need Huong to get me the last 5 episodes...

That show made me depressed.... -sighs-

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Saturday, July 9, 2005

enin and yellowsword: Yes, that is a picture of me in that banner. But maybe it's just the scan lines and you can't quite see me... because I'm not cute xD; Or at least I don't think so... >_>;

[edit]: I can think of tons of reasons why guys shouldn't like me. Why those 4 do, I really have no idea. xD;

~I don't really spend time thinking about how I look, and I hate current fashions for girls... I don't really think I'm thin enough for that. XD Right now I wear size 0 or 1 jeans, but before I try on those girly clothes I want to be a 00. XD Thus, I usually end up wearing children-size jeans and a loose T-Shirt with a baggy sweatshirt on top. I always wear my hair the same way. And... yeah. I basically look the same every day. XD I'm sure guys would rather go out with someone with a better sense of style... like Xuemin or Huong. ^^'

~I tend to obsess a lot when it comes to famous Japanese guys who happen to be in magazines like Shoxx and Fool's Mate. Like... Ryuutarou (or anyone else in Pura for that matter), Miyavi, anyone from Gazette, Nightmare, or vidoll.... I can even name their blood type. Who would ever want to go out with a girl who's so obsessed with these other guys? XD

~I spend more time on my schoolwork than anything else. I work during lunch, inbetween class, and whatever spare moments I get before I finish my work. If I had to choose between a guy and those extra moments I use to finish working, I'd choose to work instead. XD I probably wouldn't have time for whoever I would end up going out with.

There's more, but why bore you with the details? [/edit]

Oh, and to yellowsword: no, I don't think that about you.

But anyway. I have my plan and maybe it will work and maybe it won't:

Me: "I've liked you... since freshman year."

Yuu: "I... hate ugly girls."

I doubt he'll say those exact words, since he's too nice to say that. ^^' But I'm guessing he'll reject me and then I can just make him say that. XD And then I'll turn into Sunako-chan, and hide from light and boys and pretty things. o_O;

Of course, if he actually *does* like me back, then we'll have a little predicament. I like him. He likes me. But I'm still stuck with the mindset that no guy could possibly want to go out with me and have thus become quite.. "anti-boyfriend"-ish. xD; So... we would both like each other but I don't really thnk I should be going out with anyone... I don't want to make a guy go out with me -____-; I think I said the same thing about making a guy go to the dance with me. XDDDDD

But I'm going to take a break from my little shoujo drama. And plan cosplay!! When I go to visit SF this August, me and my friends are going to cosplay like crazy. Neko has all of her costumes picked out, and I pretty much do as well. In one week we have like... 7 costumes. o_O;

1. Gothic Lolita Pattern Book - Book 5. I'll be that guy with the top hat. :D Neko is being a "sorrowed doll/girl/whatever" or something along those lines. Sano is undecided.

2. L'arc~en~ciel - SMILE album. I'll be um... Hyde? Yukihiro is claimed by Neko. Sano can get Tetsu. I think. They all kind of look the same, don't they..? Except for their ties... o_o; One more and we'll have 4...

3. The Wallflower/Yamatonadeshiko Shichihenge - Chapter 6. I'm Takenaga in his hooded Halloween costume... Neko is Kyohei and Sano is Ranmaru. There's still room for a really girly Yukinojo.

4. The Wallflower/Yamatonadeshiko Shichihenge - Chapter 13. I'm Takenaga again, this time in his costume for the photoshoot. :D Sano is Ranmaru also. Neko has claimed Yukinojo.

5. Akuma no Ororon - Chapter ? - I get to be... Mitsume... I love his goggles XDDD Neko-chan can be Ororon. The Kyohei costume will look just like Ororon's jacket! ^^' Sano can be... Shiro?? I don't know. She's undecided... O_o;

6. Plastic Tree - Tremolo (!) - Ryuu-chan (!!!) I'm so happy I get to be Ryuu-chan x3333333333 Haha. Those wings are going to be murdered. And I need to get a top hat. Ummm... Neko is being Akira? I think? Sano can be... Tadashi? Unfortunately, we have an extreme lack of pictures. If not, Neko claims Ryuu-chan from Sanbika. Sano = ?

8. Death Note - I'm undecided this time. Neko says: "Can I be Raito? I mean Light. 8D" Sano is undecided again.

[edit]: My younger cousin was playing on my DDR pad the other day. The only problem is he stomps on it really hard. So much, in fact that he moved the raised button towards the center. My parents pushed it back into the correct position, but it slides back every once in a while. I'm pretty sure it's still usable, just harder to use. So, my parents are buying me and my sister a new dance pad! ^_^ Heh, I really wanted one of those so I could start learning how to play double. Hopefully the first pad isn't completely broken.[/edit]

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Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Someone mentioned this to me yesterday.

She said... "Even if that one guy 'Yuu' or whoever rejects you and you become phobic of boyfriends and light and pretty things, those other 3 guys will probably still like you."

Eeeek... How... disturbing.

Not to mention that after I wrote in my Xanga about that, tet-chan volunteered to be the 4th guy who likes me so that Yuu doesn't have to become Kyohei... He said: "hahah..... omoshiroii!!. so make that FOUR other guys who will still like you haha.. ill be the fourth HAHAHAHA....... NOW!..is it even more disturbing?"

And that one of my Xanga friends is advertising my blog as a real-life shoujo manga He says: "OK, I'm forcing myself to be done now. lol If you want some entertaining real life blog stories, visit my friend tsume's page. Her life is just like a manga. ;)"

...........o_O; Life sure can be interesting sometimes, can't it?

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