Tuesday, June 6, 2006

   Hehe, I Have Written A Poem!!!
I was kinda out of it when I wrote this poem, so forgive the lovey-dovey crap.
I've loved and I know that I'll never love again.
When we met, it was sweet and innocent...
All that seems so far away now.
We were young and naive, but all that was taken away from me too quickly.
You were gone in a flash, before I could voice my my true, growing feelings.
I was taken away, thrown into this world of lust.
I wasn't ready, I only loved you.
But, sweet nothings whispered in my ears and a gentle kiss on the lips and I was his.
I didn't want him, instead, I found myself wanting you.
I was naive and young in this new world, but, I was not thinking of him, I was thinking of you.
Innocence, stolen in a heartbreak.
He left me lying, shattered and torn.
How to end this new found pain?
I look into the mirror and can't stand the whore staring back at me!
Let the blood flow freely down my arm, form a puddle at my feet.
This world of lust has taken me, breaken me, and left me to rot.
All I want is you, no one else.
Death found me, many of times, alone and decaying in the dark.
But, Death would not have me!
Forced was I to feel again, forced was I to live again!
Awoken from my slumber to find you here with me.
I've loved you and shall never love another.
I've wanted you and shall want no other.
I've needed you and shall need no one else.
You are my life, my love, my eternity...
~Ahem~ Yes, sooo very sorry for the mushing stuff...I just wanted to express this to someone, but, well...I can't really, because I know they won't be able to read this...But, still, it felt good to let it out. Thanks for reading and comment back on it, please?
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

   Great Friends...
Well, seeing how only my closest friend, Jordan, visits this site, I guess I will just write this post to him...Well, love stinks...I got called the worst things by my so-called friend, Courtney...JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE!!! Stupid bitch! She called me, and I quote, a pimply, hoiler-than-thou goth slut!!! I AM NOT A SLUT!!! I don't know what the fuck she is on, but, hell, she better shut her fucking mouth and quit starting shit about stuff she doesn't even know! Ugh, that little bitch doesn't know what the fuck she is getting into! Heh, man, then she told me, TOLD me, to never EVER talk to Sapphyre again! That bitch TOLD me to go back out with Sapphyre in the first place, so, what the fuck?! But, the good thing outta all this bad is, I've got great friends that will stick up for me, no matter what...They've always been there for me and, I hope to repay the favor soon, but, hopely not too soon. Well, I guess this post is going to be deticated to great friends. So, well, cheers to our buddies and my buddies and your buddies and everybody's buddies!!! -Hugs all my friends- And, thanks especially to Jordan for being there, even when he couldn't be...So, welll...Uhh...Just tell your friends how much they mean to ya, kay buddies? Cause, they're special and, you're lucky to have them...So, yea...Laters, people!

_~Savannah~_
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Monday, May 29, 2006

   All Alone...
-Sniffle- You guys don't love me anymore!!! -Cries and hugs Jordan- Jordan's my only buddy! -Sniffle- Oh well! At least I've got my Jordan!!! ^^ Well, Sapphyre's freaking me out...She wrote me a message on MySpace...And, like, it said that she loved me and where OUR future was heading...SHE TALKED ABOUT FRIGIN' MARRYING ME!!! I'M ONLY 15!!! I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT SHIT!!! Plus, she is only 14, so I have no clue, WHY IN THE HELL SHE IS THINKING ABOUT IT!!! God! Oh, and then, when she asked me out...I said yes, but, I hadn't broken up with Maddie...So, yea, now things are going to get rocky between us...And, that's going to suck...But, well...The good news is, I'M ENDING IT WITH SAPPHYRE FOR GOOD!!! I don't EVER want to date her again!!! Okay, I'm good...Anyways...Well...If anybody reads this...Uhhh...HI!!! And, please, please, PLEASE comment back!!! Pwease? -Puppy dog eyes-

_~Savannah~_
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Saturday, May 27, 2006

   DDRExtreme2!!!
Yes, I am quite aware of the fact that almost NO goths play DDR, but, to tell the truth, I think I'm in love! DDRExtreme2 is freegin' awesomes, man! Last night, I finally got my AA on my favorite song Butterfly by DK.Smile...And, I beat my all time record of staying up late for 4 hours straight playing one video game, last night, I stayed the night at my friend Vikki's house, and, well, we stayed up playing versus from 9pm to 3am. That's 6 freegin' hours, man!!! We even got the neighbors to play against each other, it was soooo cool! Oh, and then, this morning, me and Vikki got her mom to play and Vikki's dad started to make the nastiest comments about how he liked the way his wife made her ass shake when during jumps...And, then, we got him to play against me on Play That Funky Music...It, was, in two words, freegin' awesomes!!! And, now, it's like, 9:39 and I'm hyper as Hell, and, like, everyone at my house is still asleep...And, I'm on the computer talking to my bestest buddies in the world, you guys...Well, check you guys laters...Oh, and I have a question, from what you guys know about me, am I prude? Just wondering...Much love!

_~Savannah~_
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Thursday, May 25, 2006

   Relationships...
Well, I broke it off with Sapphyre...That was really hard...And, then I asked out another girl that I had been crushing on forever...She's my bestest friend, and she just recently came outta the closet...Her name is Maddie...And, well, I really, really like her...But...I loved Sapphyre...And, yes, I know, that's what I said about Jordan and that didn't really work out quite the way I thought it would...But, she's different, or at least I hope she is...Because...I think I'm going to end it with Maddie, because, well, Sapphyre has been giving me guilt trips...Such as, she tried to kill herself the night of my Spring Concert for Band...And, it completely messed me up...I was hitting wrong notes all over the damn place...But, yea, I think that I do love her...And, well...I just wanna give it another try, I guess...Well, thanks for listening, you guys...Much love...

_~Savannah~_
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Friday, May 12, 2006

   Oh My Freakin' Jeezie!!!
Today, was, like, soooooo totally awesomes!!! We had our 'Fun Day' today at school, and, like, all the goths (that were cool) sat in the center of the field and, like, forced people to walk around us, it was awesomes! Oh, and today was also the Talent Show, and me and Aaron did the waltz to Nightwish's version of the Phantom of the Opera, and we, like, sooooo sucked! But, everybody loved us, and our music...It was fun! We had a blast!!! And, then, like, I played in our school's rock band at the Talent Show, too, and on the first tune (which was Sarah McClellan's Building A Mystery, great song, by the way) my base was turned down and unplugged!!! For about half the song I was playin' and nobody heard me! It made me mad, I had to look cool and plug myself back in! Ugh! Not that easy! Oh! And Johnson (Mr. Johnson rocks, he's our school's band director) gave me high fives for my improve on the Rolling Stones' Paint It Black, and also gave them to me on Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here! I was so proud!!! Oh, then I got sunburned...That wasn't so cool...But, still...I was so happy!!! Well, until I figured out that I need to end it with Sapphyre...All she thinks about is sex with me, and then, all she does is make me jealous by hanging around this really hot ass chick named Courtney and hanging on her like they're dating or something...And, like I said, it makes me jealous...So, I think I'm deffinately gonna end it with Sapphyre. But, besides all that crap, I loved today! It ROCKED!!! Anywho, how's life going, freaks?

_~Savannah~_
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Monday, May 1, 2006

   Hey you guys!!!
Sorry I haven't been on in forever, I've been at band camp. Which, by the way, was pretty freakin' awesomes. I loved it! And, like, although, like, half the girls got a soar throat, it was still, just...AWESOMES!!! And, turns out, all those band camp stories are only half way true...'Cause, only half the girls, like, did that kinda stuff at camp...Although, I think the rest of them did that stuff with somebody else...Like, ummmm...Everyone hooked up at the camp...Like, the baritone sax player, and one of our alto sax players hooked up...And, Aaron met another gay guy flutist...Uhhhhhh...Yea, just about everyone was either breaking up with somebody or hooking up with somebody...Like, my ex-bf tried to hook back up with me, by the way, I think he is stalking me...He's starting to freak the crap outta me. Like, when I was sleeping in the girls' dorm, I was right by the window, and I heard a noise...And there he was, right outside the gad damn window, STARING AT ME!!! Ugh, he is seriously freaking me out...Well, that's about all I've got to say, besides, I'm sick as hell and got to stay home today...Oh, and I think me and Sapphyre may break up...Don't know yet...Peace out peoples!

_~Savannah~_
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Sunday, April 16, 2006

   Um...Hi?
Yea...This month has been a pain, and if any of you freaks say it's cause I'm a girl, I'll kill ya! Lol, sorry, that would just be awesomes though if I did, like, all of a sudden, I just, like, jumped out from the shadows and attacked your arse! It'd be sweet! Lol, soooooooooo...How's life been, freaks?
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Friday, April 7, 2006

   Disregard Post...
DISREGARD LAST POST!!! Yea, I found out that I was only slitting my wrists to make sure I was still alive. I felt dead inside and what not. Now then, the festival...Wasn't so good. WE SUCKED ASS!!! We got a 3 out of 5 on the concert and a 4 out of 5 on the sight reading! WE SUCKED!!! I almost cried, I'm that much into my music. But, yea, Wesley and me are still friends, but I don't think I'd ever reconsider dating him again. As for Sapphyre, I asked her back out, and, yea, she said yes, so yea, no more slitting my wirsts!!! I was sooo happy! Then, I got home and my brother beat me! You know, fist on my back, arms, legs, face, everywhere! Ugh! I hit him back then ran from the house crying. I was going to go to Aaron's, seeing how he lived so close, but, yea, I didn't make it. I broke down crying in the middle of my apartment complex and screamed. It was a very fucked up Thursday. Oh! The, today, our band director gave us this huge lecture on how we let him down and stuff! Like we weren't feeling bad enough already! I couldn't even lift my base guitar to do the performance for the incoming 6th graders today! I felt horrid!!! Oh, Jordan, and anyone else who cares, I finally developed my pictures, so, yea, they will be up soon. Ummm...That's about all my feelings right now, I think. Wait! I almost kissed Aaron today! He was, like, crying and stuff, cause he saw me and Sapphyre together, like, hip-close, and stuff. And, yea, it reminded him that he would never be able to cuddle and be close with his internet boyfriend, Sebastian. So yea, I felt horrible, and almost, ALMOST, kissed him. Yea...Shhhhhh! Don't tell Sapphyre about that! She'd be heartbroken! Okay, I think I've shared enough...Saint, when ya get the chance, PM me when you're going to be on, cause, I like, miss ya buddy! Laters...

_~Savannah~_
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Monday, April 3, 2006

   I Think I've Hit The Bottom Again...
I don't know what it is this time...And that's what scares me, but, right now, all I can think about is suicide. I don't know why. And, I wish I wouldn't think about it, it makes me do things, things I don't wanna do. Last couple of nights I've been staying up late with blades and slitting my wrists. I'm scared, you guys. I don't wanna go through this Hell again! I've had enough of it! But, I can't stop myself...I'm scared. Well, enough of that, how about I catch you guys up on what's been going on lately? Firstly, I'm not doing my song that I wrote for the Talent Show, they said the lyrics were 'too deep' and what not. I broke up with Wesley because he is short and a major ass perv. Demetria's a bitch (as always) 'cept this time, it was kinda my fault. I told her I loved her, and well, she flipped on me. Then, we kissed and afterwords she told me she had a boyfriend, she could've told me that BEFORE I kissed her! Ugh, what a teasing ass bitch. Oh, Sapphyre, I'm not sure if I told you guys about her or not, but she is my ex and she asked me back out, I think, I'm not sure though. And, yea, I haven't given her an answer yet. Oh, I'm singing an Evanescence song, Going Under, at the Talent Show with my gay guy friend Aaron. And, well, ummm...My school band (which includes me) is going to Festival this week, so, yea, wish us luck! And...I found my calling over the break (we just had spring break) and it's photography. I do alot of artsy photos of mainly gay couples, or stances and the like. Such as, I had Aaron sit in a cradle (well it looked like a cradle) made of dead tree limbs and put his hair in his eyes, and look down at the ground, he was awesomes! I love him, he's a great friend. Well, that's about it, my buddies...Hope to see ya laters...

_~Savannah~_
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