Friday, January 6, 2006

   Im So Sorry...
DAMMIT!!! -Cries- I dont know what is wrong with me anymore...Ive finally hurt someone and cant stand it!!! I guess im just fucking human or something...Yesterday...I almost did the Black Curse on Jordan, but couldnt bring myself to finish it...No matter how much I told myself that he deserved it, I couldnt do it...Instead I broke down and cried...I still love this guy, I thought about him all day today, i couldnt stop thinking about him...I dazed out in Band and nearly screwed up the whole ensamble...I was embarrased, but still I was thinking about Jordan...Thinking about how I could reconcile with him...I still dont have the fainest idea of how to apologize for trying to kill him...Im just a monster!!! I dont deserve to live and wallow in pain and greif and every other human emotion...Jordan, this is all I can say...I love you, I cant stop thinking about you...Most of all though, I miss us...Im sorry, friends...But I had to get this out...It was started to break me down and I dont want to cry anymore...I dont think I can...Thank you all for listening...And Jordan, Im sorry, over and over Im sorry...

_~Savannah~_
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Thursday, January 5, 2006

   I Wonder If You People Can Guess Who I Want Dead?
If you guessed Jordan. Then you are COMPLETELY correct. He has been a total ass...I want him cursed...I know this is probably not my nicest post, heck, i didnt even want to curse Deme...But Jordan. Jordan is whole different story. He has got me soooo pissed right now. Maybe it will go away soon, maybe it wont...But GOD! Why the hell did he do this to me?! Ugh...Maybe im just destined to be alone forever. I mean, hell, even girls are bitches! What ever happened to guys being sweet and not USING girls?! What ever happened to not being gay? I think that one is simple enough to answer, girls went gay to get away from the asshole guys!!! Ugh...Men...AND woman...Maybe i should just kill myself. Save myself from a world of loneliness...Maybe the world would be better off...-Shakes head- Sorry, guys...But...Maybe it would...

_~Savannah~_
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Monday, January 2, 2006

   Randomness...Antony and Cleopatra
SceneXV The Same. A Monument.

Cleopatra:
No more, but even a woman, and commanded
By such poor passion as the maid that milks
And does the meanest chares. It were for me
To throw my sceptre at the injurious gods;
To tell them that this world did equal theirs
Till they had stolen our jewel. All's but naught;
Patience is scottish, and impatience does
Become a dog that's mad: then is it sin
To rush into the secret house of death,
Ere death dare come to us? How do you, women?
What, what! good cheer! Why, how now, Charmian!
My noble girls! Ah, women, women, look,
Our lamp is spent, it's out! Good sirs, take heart:
We'll bury him; and then, what's brave,
what's noble,
Let's do it after the high Roman fashion,
And make death proud to take us. Come, away:
This case of that huge spirit now is cold:
Ah, women, women! come; we have no friend
But resolution, and the briefest end.

By: William Shakespear

Cleopatra just lost Antony to a sword wound, i think...^^;

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   Confuzzled...
Yea, today i did something bad. With some one you all know...I feel horriable...I dont know if im being used...I dont know if there is still something there...Its heavy in my heart and im worried for me. Ever since i did it, ive been fighting with myself that i wont get hurt...But now i dont know...Thank you all for letting me pour this out, though its not the whole story. Im sorry i cannot share it with you all and gain your advice, but writing this seems to have lifted a burdon off my soul and heart. Thank you for reading...

_~Savannah~_
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Sunday, January 1, 2006

Planets The Darkness Falls... Chapter 1: The Recruit...(Continued)
The light stopped flashing and the gutter drain opened up to a long dark tunnel. A young boy stood before her, the flashlight chained about his waist, "Thought you couldnt make it?" The girl smiled and kissed his cheek, "You forget...I never miss a meeting." She then walked out before him into the dark tunnel. He shruged and followed, blinking the flashlight again to show their surroundings. The tunnel was long and stained with random gang signs from the 2000's, rats scuttled about their feet while water trickled down from above. Soon the tunnel opened to a black room, lighted with black and random string lights. Her eyes scanned the room, laying first on the stone altar, then the members that surrounded it, only 10 had arrived. She walked the length of the room to a white bean bag chair placed before a throne of metal bike rails and miscellanious iron rods. Another young girl, maybe 14, dressed in a long black dress, with her red hair pinned up into pigtails and red eyes, scooted her way to her. "You are Sabriel. Correct?" The girl nodded and took the blade from her chest, slowly tracing it along her wrist. The younger girl sat with her legs crossed before her, "Im Tikiya. I cant believe im talking to His girlfriend." Sabriel shivered at the thought of Him, her boyfriend and leader of the gang, "Dont ever say im 'His'...I have my own mind and make my own decisions." Tikiya shifted her weight and nodded, "Okay, sorry." Soon after her words trailed from her, a dark figure entered the room, smoke escaping its parted lips, a ciggarette clasped between two fingers.
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Sorry, been awhile...
Sorry, buddies...Been catching up with the etherial world. For thoe of you i havent told, i am into Wicca. My mother was into it and so are me and my brother. So yea...If you guys got any good sites or information, or you would like some information yourselves, PM me or Chaos Jester. Rot In Pieces my fellow otaku members!

_~Savannah~_
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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Suicidal Love...
Bleed, bleed, blood on the knife
Blood on the floor, taking my life
Pain and heartache wretch through my soul
Tears of sorrow erase me whole
A body in rags, lying on the floor
Freedom of love, lay shattered and torn
The love i had, escaped me
The love i had, awaits me
Life after death is what i yearn for
Yet my soul is left, stranded at the door
Shattered and torn, pain and sorrow
A life without love, has pain to barrow
As i lay, alone and dying
My last shakey breath results in lying
I cant believe what i have done
The love of my life has finally won

Written By: Savannah

Please tell me what you think this poem means...Or at least post your thoughts on it...
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   Love and Pain...(Personal Post)
Despite the pain that has moved into my heart, love still lingers there for Jordan. I know if he reads this he wont want to even be friends anymore, but its true. I thought for the longest time that death was the only answer, then i found out there is love. People who can actually understand me, people like Jordan...He may not love me back anymore, but my heart still aches for him. I miss him dearly and right now, life looks pretty bleak. A knife, a gun, a damn razor blade, could end this all so easily, but then...I'd forget about Jordan, and my life after death wouldnt be as grand as i thought it to be. I know this post sounds like what i put up about Deme on my old one, but im not changing names again just to ease my pain. I dont want it eased, because inside i know that pain is nothing but cloaked love, shattered and torn. But if there is one thing ive learned, hearts can be mended...Hearts can be put back together, no matter how many pieces are missing, no matter how many pieces its fallen into...They can always be mended...Jordan, if youre reading this, dont kill yourself. If you die...I just might have to jump off that bridge with you. Pain is a beautiful thing, people, it reminds us of what we HAD. What we wish we still HAD, when in truth we know that our hearts will forbid us to ever have it again. Im sorry Jordan for any pain i may have caused you and Stephanie...If i had known, i wouldnt have dated you...Again, im sorry...Love you forever and always...

~~~Savannah~~~
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

   READ ME!!! ^^
Okay people, apparently the LONG chapters isnt what its gonna take to make you read my stories, so, now im going to post up my stories in little tiny sections. That way, you'll read it and comment without complaints! ^^; Also, if you like action or fantasy, go check out soul-bandit-bebop and DuhDuh, they both have seriously AWESOMES stories posted on their sites! Please, when you get the chance, check them out! Anywho, this story im posting up is WAY different than the last one, its called Planets. It mainly deals with the Sadist, Angst, Gothic, Punk, Problem Child communities. There is alot of pain in just the first chapter and i love it so far! ^^; Well, please comment this time, after all, i shortened it just for you people! Love and Rot In Pieces!!!
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Planets The Darkness Falls Chapter 1: The Recruit...
Two full red moons scorched the night sky as they made their slow rise over the horizon. A girl dressed in a black and white maid outfit, skirted across the skyscaping city limits, far beneath the blood light's reach. Shadowed as she was, a hint of silver glinted in the little street lights that occupied every two houses' lawns. The blade was held tightly in her hand and crossed her chest as she looked up to the sky, "Full moons..." Her heartbeat increased as she reached the far end of the street, a dark alley panning off to the right. She turned around and searched the empty street, not wanting to be followed. Seeing no one, she turned down the alley, the soft clicking of her black boots echoing off the walls of buildings as she passed. A white light flashed softly before her feet, down beneath a gutter, she leaned over and whispered, "Futile."

There...Part 1 of Chapter 1...Good or bad so far?
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