Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Sweet Email. . .

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it! "And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question. "Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle." " I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist. " His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?" "We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little. "Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs." The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?" " I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money." " How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago. "One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to." "Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. " He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need." That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place. That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?" Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents .... plus the faith of a little child..

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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Sunday. . . .Church. . .Hooray?

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Just Church, Not Much Else. . ] Well, church was pretty. . .erm. . .. churchy, as it should be. This time we went there on time (because we went w/ Art and sat in the back,) and caught both the service and the talk afterwards. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I don't enjoy the singing and dancing and speaking-in-tongues (?) but once the kiddies leave for Sunday school the adult talks are usually pretty cool. Todays talk was about omnipotence (and my brain giggles at the thought of impotence. . .,) but the pastor there said something that really caught my attention and impressed me. He was talking about control, and how he was speaking to someone from another church who was talking about their own pastor, and how theyre used to their pastor making decisions for them. He said, "well I said to them, 'dont come to my church, because im not that kind of guy.'" He went on to talk about how its not his place to rule over people, because he's a person like everyone else, and that part made the entire talk great. You see, my bud-day Scott's, who is also pentecostal, church is the opposite of how he explained himself to be, and its because of that I have a deep underlying. . .erm. . .I can't think of the right word, but its not a hatred, just more of a skepticism toward the Pentecostal religion as a whole. My friend Chris (who is baptized into the religion through Scott but doesn't support it anymore) told me fo an instance when some girl in the church talked about cutting her hair, and the pastors wife slapped her in the face! I mean, what the fuck yknow?? But this guy managed to gain that religion some cool points back, and thats a really good thing to me.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005

   I Can't Wear Pants If Its Freezing Because I Know Too Many People

[Playlist and Snippet] Terrance: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka You're a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka You're an uncle fucka, yes its true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you Phillip: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn, You just fuck your uncle all day long - Trey Parker, Matt Stone - "Uncle Fucker" - South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Soundtrack - Shagging your uncle is BAD! It really sucks how I get stopped short of completing my post, because something immediately comes up or someone comes around who I feel doesn't need to read what I write. . .so if youre reading and the post just ends, its usually because I'm interrupted and in some cases I'll try to finish it in the next post [Here's one of the reasons why I don't fuckin like religion. . ] . . .I swear to whomever you (the reader) worship, I'm really fucking pissed off right now (I know I know, "what else is new, Winn?") Here's the dillio (DIL-lee-o): So I was talking to Lauren about the weather here in Panama City, which is gradually getting chilly every morning, and she says, "Aww man, I left all of my long skirts in Missouri (this is also important)" I ask her if she still has some pants, because she can always wear that instead but she says that she can't because she knows too many people around here (she's Pentecostal.) Thats some really fucked up shit, guys. She means to tell me that if its freezing outside, she has to wear that piece of clothing w/ the big gaping hole at the bottom (a skirt, guys and gals,) because shes worried about her friends (majority Pentecostal) not talking to her and shit? Looks like someone needs to get some new fucking friends! Thats nothing but bullshit. . . .and partially why I don't like religion in the first place, especially religions like that. [Change of Plans For Sure. . . .I Hope] Ok, so no Minnesota. Panama City it is! I'm not really rejoicing for Panama City or feeling bad because I'm not going to live in Princeton, but I seriously think Laurens better off staying here, especially since she has to finish her schooling. She will be back on the road to getting her GED (high school diploma's not the best route right now, but the preferred one none-the-less) and I will get a job and keep her mom's old room once she gets the "fuck outta dodge," like my relatives like to say. I'll have to go back to Louisiana to get the iMac, and my switch (they need to keep both routers, since one is for Vonage, and the wireless one because mom's connected to the net out of her room via wireless, and bobby from his laptop via wireless PCMIA card,) and buy a brand new router. I'll also have to buy a wireless card to put in my big Windows/Linux box, and a second NIC card to plug the iMAC to the big box so it can have internet/network capabilities too. I think it will all work out for the better. . . . [Wait, I was under the impression. . .] So Lauren is talking to her mom, pissed off because she stayed out all night long and didn't come back until morning, which includes not calling her to tell her where she is (I know what youre thinking, "but her mom is a grown ass woman. .blah blah blah" but you've never met Lauren lol.) Her mom is getting real pissed back and says, "Well I'm about to give you a rude awakening. . just because I don't screw every person I'm with doesn't make me a bad person!" My heart skipped like 5 beats when I heard that. . and then she says, "Do I need to start a list?," which she repeats about two more times. Now for you conventional people, I'm sure thats not an issue for you. But for someone unusual like me, it poses a huge problem, since I was under the impression that she's only fucked one guy (that fucker I'm sure I mentioned before who convinced her to turn against her family and drop out of school. . .NOT that its all his fault,) which I tolerated and in turn gave to her my virginity. I wasn't just under the impression, I was absolutely-fucking-sure she screwed only one other guy. NOW, Diana (her mother) IS known to lie, so maybe she said that intentionally to piss me off and make me mad at Lauren, because she does do things like that. Y'know I pride myself in saying that I don't make any mistakes. . .but damn. . . .god-fuckin-damnit. . . . I think that, if this is all true, its going to be the biggest hurdle to me to get over in this relationship, because YES I am staying with her, but its going to affect me for a long long time. . .its as if some being likes to make my life the opposite of how I want it. . . .but hey, I'm strong, and I'm fighting it to overcome it. Stop pouting now, Winn, and remember that you still love this girl. On the bright side, it helps explains why she knows so much. . . . . [Anal Excretions] Boy do I feel like shit! I've been thinking its my sinuses or something to do w/ the weather, but now I'm really feeling like shit and I think I may have caught something from someone recently, and with the other bullshit going on I could just vomit out my organs right now and I'd be an ok mutha-SHUTYOMOUTH! I've been taking Sudafed (spelling?) but its not doing crap for me. Maybe I should step up to like. . .crack or something. . jk Wow, I finally finished a post!

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Friday, November 11, 2005

I've been thinking. . .

[Playlist and Snippet] Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say. We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind de pon we pay. More than gold and oil and diamonds girls we need dem everyday. Recognize it, Pimpin as we riding. - Sean Paul - "We Be Burnin" - Trinity - So who knows what this songs about??? . . .about moving my post to a myspace account where they will be better secured so certain people (**cough cough** Lauren) can't read them, but I don't want to leave this community. IF that ever happens, I'll let you guys know first. [I had the weirdest dream. . .] . . but I can't remember too many details. I DO remember that I was back at home, and mom drove a BMW (one of the sportier models,) and I drove a Volvo (one of the newer, near-BMW sedan clones.) My Volvo had problems staying still, and so did the Camaro, I mean as in I'd park, but its like the brake didn't engage correctly and if I weren't careful, the cars would drift forward of backwards. My friend Kevin (Richard) also drove a BMW, but it was a sedan, and I remember him making fun of me because I drove a Volvo lol. I didn't care, though, the newer Volvo's still look nice. [In other dream news today. . ] . . .thanks Con for the tornado pictures. I still don't understand why my mind processed the whole. . .process (lol) of a tornado correctly, but I'm afraid why someone or something considers it to be important information to me, especially since I'm going to Missouri. I see something really bad in the form of a tornado happening sometime when I get up there. [To Bitch About Today] . . .yeah there are alot of things I haven't bitches about lately, but in an effort to better myself I've just written off, or openly complained about it, so I can keep certain people getting upset from reading my blog to a minimun, but don't worry, soon I know they'll be something to piss me off that I can share w/ you guys lol. FOR EXAMPLE, I got started on reading Lauren's 'everyones connected.com' blog, and I see by the way she's written the post that she's never spoken about me before. . theres nothing like being insulted early in the AM, y'know (its 8:34am right now) OH, how the world loves me. . .anyways. . . [It's already been established that mom can be a serious ass. . . .] . . .but in her pessimism, she tends to make alot of good points (or maybe they're good points because I've inherited her pessimism.) Y'know, even now I catch alot of holy hell about if I'm sure I want to do what I'm doing, go where I'm going, and be with the person I'm with.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005

   Long Day. . . .Longer Night

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - Someone important has been reading these post and decided to confront me on how I really feel about some things, BUT nothing will be edited or toned down. . .I'll keep it honest [The Gears Have Been Moving. . .] . . .in my head, trying to put things together that I hear (usually accidentally,) since its my only source of information on whats going on here, and I'm starting to believe (and yeah here I go again,) that someone's cheated on their husband. [I Shouldn't Gripe First. . .] . . .since I do it almost every other post. . .today was played with the usual "hey winn were going into wally world, come down with us since we will only be a few minutes" card. Of course, just like friggin usual, the few minutes turned into 30 minutes, which turned into an hour, which turned into TWO hours, going into two and a half hours. After about 15 minutes, I got fuckin pissed and decided to go to the Durango where I can get oxygen in peace lol.

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Monday, November 7, 2005

Another day. . . but not enough progress. . .

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Scary Dream. . ] I had the eeriest dream that I was with some people (I cant remember who, even though that may be important in the near future,) and they were talking and lollygagging and the like, but I kept watching the sky get dark, as if a storm were coming. So I tried to tell the ppl around me to look at the sky but they didn't pay it any mind, until I started to notice the clouds go into a whirlpool pattern in the sky that swirled faster and faster. When my brain registered to me what I was looking at (I've never seen a tornado in real life, nor ever seen one form, touch down, etc, so my dream may be totally inaccurate,) I screamed to everyone to get into the shelter while I watched the tornado touch down right on me. Before it touched me I woke up. . . weird eh? [Church post didnt go through. . . .] Well, its yet another day, and I already feel that little or nothing will get done.

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Sunday, November 6, 2005

Church. . .whoop-dee-doo

Well I was kinda fortunate.

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Saturday, November 5, 2005

   Hope I'm Alive To See It . . . .

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Riots?! France?! . . . .MUSLIMS?!] Well, in all of the crap thats been going on lately, I came across yet another piece of news that I wasn't aware about. . From CNN.com - Friday was the ninth straight night of vandalism that has spread to at least 20 communities among largely immigrant and Muslim populations frustrated by poverty, high unemployment and what they see as discrimination in French society. In some areas, unemployment is 25 percent. Wow, I couldn't imagine France w/ rioting problems, much less Muslims. I hate to sound like those crazy religious evanglist that you see on TV, but I think were coming to the end of our existence as human beings, whether we ruin our own existence through violence through our man made weapons (thats ever-so-popular

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Thursday, November 3, 2005

Well HEEEELLLLOOOO Shirley!

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Cheap light bill fo life, homie!] I just got emailed my Slemco bill (oh the miracles of online billing,) and its ONLY $185.00!! I get the feeling that I'll be paying the electric bill for a long long time, even though mom insisted that the last time I paid (it was 265.00) would be the last time, so this works out GREAT! Now im starting to wonder if its been my fault all along that the bill has been so high, since I took my computer with me here to Florida. ["Geek Squad"] What do you do when your girlfriends friend (who is a girl) insults you? Well someone didn't know that my earphones werent completely on and I heard "hes one of those geek squad" in the voice that matches Lauren's friend Lacie. . . do I cap on a hoe, or don't I? Lauren insists that its a joke, but why did she say it when they thought that my earphones were on and I couldn't hear anything??

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More said. . .

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Like I Was Sayin. . .] . . . so we stayed in Louisiana, and for some odd reason Mom started being herself and believed that her mom was trying to stay with us in Louisiana for as long as she could just because she missed a flight (and said that she'd take another but decided not to.) In the end, we had to leave my house and stay at my grandfather's house for a few days, then stayed at my great-grandmother's house (everyone calls her "Mom") because she complains that I never visit her enough. . .so what better way to make it up than staying at her house for a couple of days, w/ grandfather checking in to make sure we were ok. So now were back in Panama City, onstandby, if you will, to goto Princeton, which I hope happens sooner than later. With all of the things I've been going through in the past three weeks, I guess I can't help it but to wonder if its all worth it. Like being with anyone, there are things that she does that I really like, and there are "less desirable" traits. . .and then theres those things I just don't like. I'll post all of them as they happen from time to time so you can learn about her (and probably about myself,) and so I can have some things archived that I can read about later. I guess I won't be able to tell if its all worth it until I get to my final destination, Princeton, Missouri. [So You're Defending Him????] Speaking of things that piss me off. . .I don't think they know but I heard a conversation about her mom going after her ex, this "Terrible (from WHAT I HEAR about him)" guy who she fell for and oh-so-stupidly gave her virginity to, in addition to rebelling against her family and quitting school for (but she's going to get her GED. .and I'll make sure of it,) because she wants to slap rape charges against him and lock him up for as long as possible. I couldn't believe that I could hear Lauren telling her mother not to worry about it, after all this guy has done, she's defending him. Idk if I'll even be able to speak to her for the rest of the day if I can't get this shit off of my mind, yknow what I'm sayin gangsta? All of those events are the reason why I ever had doubts about being with her, and almost staying in Louisiana, but I guess I can't just not give someone a chance, especially if its someone I've known online for about 6 years and just met in person, right? All in all I'm just really pissed about the whole conversation. . . maybe in being selfish too, so I'd better try to forget it. [Things That I Notice Make Me Upset] Smart comments are aplenty w/ Lauren, because she's been spoiled and is used to getting what she wants. I also can't stand riding w/ her (or her mom) whether it be to someplace they're familiar with or someplace they've never been to before (oh man thats the worst, actually.) I can't ask Lauren anything or say anything, especially when I'm driving w/o getting a smart-ass remark back. Hell, I was trying to find a road to see where I'd have to turn (I like to get in the appropriate lane early so I won't have to worry about traffic later) so I wouldn't miss it. When I'd ask her where the road is, she'd keep saying, "I'll let you know when we get there!" Jesus H Christ that burns me up lol, because then we end up missing it because of TRAFFIC in the corresponding lane, or because its dark, and I have to turn the friggin brick-on-wheels around (its a newer model Dodge Durango, not the lightweight manual transmission vehicles in accustomed to, but a very nice vehicle nonetheless) and get back on track, and PRAY for a median to let me U-Turn. . . . [On A More Interesting Note] I find alot of things about Lauren's dad remind me of myself, whether its his opinion on certain things, or the way he reacts to things and the way he says things. . I'd swear when I'm sitting in the car upset I can imagine him being upset for the same reasons (its usually those womenfolk saying something once again, or telling me where I need to go then asking me why we aren't at the destination, or something similar. . .most recently wanted to goto a mall, the second of two malls, after I just finish showing them where the first one is and assumed thats the one we were going to since no one told me anything until I was having problems looking for it w/ theyre help. . . .they were entirely on a different page from me. Its not that we went to the mall they wanted to go to, its that I showed them in the airport (we went to pick up her mom) was (I was unaware that there were two at the time) and no one said anything, just acknowledged what I showed them. Then suddenly after all of that grief to find the one I was looking for, it wasnt the one WE were going to. . .. oh well, I guess thats all women, right?

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