Thursday, November 3, 2005

More said. . .

[Playlist and Snippet] - "" - - - [Like I Was Sayin. . .] . . . so we stayed in Louisiana, and for some odd reason Mom started being herself and believed that her mom was trying to stay with us in Louisiana for as long as she could just because she missed a flight (and said that she'd take another but decided not to.) In the end, we had to leave my house and stay at my grandfather's house for a few days, then stayed at my great-grandmother's house (everyone calls her "Mom") because she complains that I never visit her enough. . .so what better way to make it up than staying at her house for a couple of days, w/ grandfather checking in to make sure we were ok. So now were back in Panama City, onstandby, if you will, to goto Princeton, which I hope happens sooner than later. With all of the things I've been going through in the past three weeks, I guess I can't help it but to wonder if its all worth it. Like being with anyone, there are things that she does that I really like, and there are "less desirable" traits. . .and then theres those things I just don't like. I'll post all of them as they happen from time to time so you can learn about her (and probably about myself,) and so I can have some things archived that I can read about later. I guess I won't be able to tell if its all worth it until I get to my final destination, Princeton, Missouri. [So You're Defending Him????] Speaking of things that piss me off. . .I don't think they know but I heard a conversation about her mom going after her ex, this "Terrible (from WHAT I HEAR about him)" guy who she fell for and oh-so-stupidly gave her virginity to, in addition to rebelling against her family and quitting school for (but she's going to get her GED. .and I'll make sure of it,) because she wants to slap rape charges against him and lock him up for as long as possible. I couldn't believe that I could hear Lauren telling her mother not to worry about it, after all this guy has done, she's defending him. Idk if I'll even be able to speak to her for the rest of the day if I can't get this shit off of my mind, yknow what I'm sayin gangsta? All of those events are the reason why I ever had doubts about being with her, and almost staying in Louisiana, but I guess I can't just not give someone a chance, especially if its someone I've known online for about 6 years and just met in person, right? All in all I'm just really pissed about the whole conversation. . . maybe in being selfish too, so I'd better try to forget it. [Things That I Notice Make Me Upset] Smart comments are aplenty w/ Lauren, because she's been spoiled and is used to getting what she wants. I also can't stand riding w/ her (or her mom) whether it be to someplace they're familiar with or someplace they've never been to before (oh man thats the worst, actually.) I can't ask Lauren anything or say anything, especially when I'm driving w/o getting a smart-ass remark back. Hell, I was trying to find a road to see where I'd have to turn (I like to get in the appropriate lane early so I won't have to worry about traffic later) so I wouldn't miss it. When I'd ask her where the road is, she'd keep saying, "I'll let you know when we get there!" Jesus H Christ that burns me up lol, because then we end up missing it because of TRAFFIC in the corresponding lane, or because its dark, and I have to turn the friggin brick-on-wheels around (its a newer model Dodge Durango, not the lightweight manual transmission vehicles in accustomed to, but a very nice vehicle nonetheless) and get back on track, and PRAY for a median to let me U-Turn. . . . [On A More Interesting Note] I find alot of things about Lauren's dad remind me of myself, whether its his opinion on certain things, or the way he reacts to things and the way he says things. . I'd swear when I'm sitting in the car upset I can imagine him being upset for the same reasons (its usually those womenfolk saying something once again, or telling me where I need to go then asking me why we aren't at the destination, or something similar. . .most recently wanted to goto a mall, the second of two malls, after I just finish showing them where the first one is and assumed thats the one we were going to since no one told me anything until I was having problems looking for it w/ theyre help. . . .they were entirely on a different page from me. Its not that we went to the mall they wanted to go to, its that I showed them in the airport (we went to pick up her mom) was (I was unaware that there were two at the time) and no one said anything, just acknowledged what I showed them. Then suddenly after all of that grief to find the one I was looking for, it wasnt the one WE were going to. . .. oh well, I guess thats all women, right?

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