Monday, November 3, 2008

   Friends, Competition, and Options...
It's nice to have friends who can help you with your problems... I LOVE YOU RAMEN!!! I've been going through so much lately, and just knowing that I have a strong family of true friends to fall back on is the best thing ever! ^_^

We start competition music on Wednesday! yeah-yeah!

This past saturday, at the Show Choir party, my good friend Anne and I asessed my options. I can:
A) hold it all in and continue to sheild myself from the truth.
B) Tell him how strongly I feel.
C) Do my best to support him and be there for him as a friend.
I really think option A shouldn't even be an option, because I've been doing that, and I spontaneously burst into tears while talking to Anne about it. I don't want to rush into option B too soon.... He just entered a new relationship, and I don't want to complicate things for him. I think I'll wait on that one. I think option C is the best thing for me to do as far as showing him how much I truly love and care for him goes. All I can do is offer my support and any genuine advice he may need or ask for. As much as this is really going to test me, I have to put the jealous bitch aside and take his best interests into consideration. I do love him, so I have to be fair and try to do my best to keep him happy, whether he's aware or not of my efforts. I'm willing to set aside my own comfort and happiness to see that he stays smiling and so very curiously innocent... *sighs*... "Love kills slowly..."

I'm Spade, there's hope, and this is goodbye! ^_^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, October 31, 2008

   Today, Phillip..., Pain
HOME COMING!!!!!!!! YEAH YEAH!!

Phillip has been really stressed lately.... it's starting to take a toll on me....

"Love kills slowly," a wise one once said... and it's true.... i'm dieing a little more each day. I think i died alot today... *sigh* ^_^

i'm Spade. GO SHELBY COUNTY!!!! Bye!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wow....
i think since people stopped comming here, now would be a great time to get some stuff off my chest... I'M IN LOVE!!! I'm so in live that i don't even know that i'm in love!!! *sigh* it's an amazing feeling.... being in LOVE.... love kills slowly, though. everyday as i continue to get closer and closer to him, i think it pains me to know that deep down inside, i know that our time together will soon be up. the closer and closer he pulls me in, the harder it is to escape his grasp. when he holds me, he does it in a way that he hugs no other, almost like he's been saving it for me all day. when i look into his eyes, they're filled with such innocence that no matter how badly you want to protect those innocent eyes from any danger, you know that there's an unspoken secret that may take away the innocence completely. even knowing so, you want to dig deeper and find what makes him tick. he's the only straight guy i'll let get close to me (phillip doesn't count. lol) we don't even have to speak to each other. just being in the same room and knowing that he's safe is enough to satisfy me. even when i'm in the midst of a very deep conversation with someone else, i'm still always aware that he is near me. i think he has some type of sensor to know when i'm sad, and when i need him by me. almost in the same way the clayton has that sensor... i've never kissed him before, but just from touching him, i feel sparks. when we touch, it's a collision of the same emotions that run through my mind: happiness, pain, pleasure, regret.... happiness, because he gives me those feelings; pain, because our time is almost up; pleasure, for even his hand touching my own is nearly orgasmic; and regret for not fully seizing our ime before... i truly do love him, and i don't want to hurt him. i feel such an intense passion when we're together, and i love every second we spend together. there's no way that this is an infatuation. this probably started out as one, but escalated into something much stronger. i love everything about him: his pale skin, his deep green eyes, the dull blond of his hair, his tender touch, the tickle of is beard as he holds me tightly... as i think about the sad year that we have left together, i realize that even though i've run out of time, i'm still going o make light of this situation. he's just that worth it. we recently went on a choir feild trip, and i had to choose between being on a bus with my soul sista, or him. i easily chose him. we didn't even speak. just being near him was enough for me. i love him so much..... i honestly don't know what to do....

I'm Spade, i feel a little bit better, and this is goodbye...

p.s.
Ramen, you said previously that you love his anatomy... if that helps any. your 1st block club president.... -.-
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

   November, My People Skills, and GREAT NEWS!!!
Every weekend in November will be spent partying!!!!! This weekend is the Blst and Sequins party, next weekend is Light-up, the weekend after that is Shipley's party, then after that is the blast show choir retreat!!!! YEAH YEAH!

It seems like the guys in my fourth block class only talk to me when i'm visibly pissed off at Sha... I think that's soooo funny....

THE HOODIES ARE IN!!!!! YEAH-YEAH!!!! Mine says MAMA on the back because that's what the Shelbysingers freshman call me. I'm like their mother! ^_^
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

   Show Time!
You know what that means: singing, crying, and, of course, lots and lots of naked people! Yeah-yeah! That's about all i have to say for now.

I'm Spade, ..., and this is goodbye!!!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

   Dresses, More to Panic About, and Love...
i found the dresses!!! OMG! it was fate!!!!!

The show is comming up and we are no where near ready for it!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so panic stricken!

I think i'm in love..... not joking, dead serious. he's the absolute greatest thing since sliced bread! lol i love him.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, October 18, 2008

   Hunting, My schedue (revised), Concert Mode
Me, Grace, Shipley, and Angela are going to the mall to go shopping for our dresses today. This should be interesting. lol

It seems that my educational schedul has shifted amazingly over the last month or so.... It's been as follows:
8:40-9:05 Biology
9:10-11:43 ShelbySingers
11:45-12:40 Geometry
12:45-1:50 ShelbySingers
1:52-3:00 Physics I
3:00-3:25 ShelbySingers
lol that's sooooo funny!!!!

This upcoming week is the concert, and I can garauntee you that Fonza is gonna be on a rampage! She told us in advance that she still loves us! lol This should be good! aha-ha!

I'm Marissa, this was fun, and I've gotta go to the mall! Bye!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

   Dress Rehersal(s), Akward Assosiations, and The Best Partner a Girl Could Ask For! ^_^ (Phillip! lol)
I have a dress rehersal tomorrow, two more next week, and then my performance next thursday... wow. I literally have no free time... It's 'kay!

There are so many people who I'm best friends with their friends, but me and the acutal person are nothing more than aquaintances.... lol
For instance:
Kris and Tyler are like brothers, Tyler is my right hand, and me and Kris just have physics together. We know tat we're both really close to Tyler, we just never talk to each other...
Jonh and Megan are an item, and me and Megan are like mother-daughter-(lover)-ish and John sees us talk and hang out,but still regards me as "Angela". Same with John and Sebas. They are best friends, and me and Sebas are like- *makes a meaningful motion*- this! I love how these things happen! lolololol

PHILLIP I LOVE YOU!!!! Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love lover love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love lov elove love loved you!!!!!!!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Boys... (again...), Shopping, and Halloween
In addition to Fire and Ice there is now Water.

Fire: annoying little-brother-type freshman

Ice: Super amazing senior whom i care about very much! ^_^

Water: annoyingly shy junior hat won't stop calling me! GRRRR he's worst than Fire


I'm going shopping with Jehren, Angela, Quinten, Reed, and Kayla tomorrow! I'm so excited! Yeah-Yeah! WHOOO!!!!

I'm gonna be a japanese maid for halloween!

I'm Spade, I'm severley annoyed, and this is goodbye!!!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, October 6, 2008

   Groceries, Polyphonic Goodness, and The Rest of This Week!
I have to go grocerie shopping today.... my brother wants to make bread, but I really don't feel like it.

My cell phone has this function that allows me to enter tones into it in the form of sheet music. That's how I've been spending what little down time I've had so far this week. This go around, the obsession is Phantom of the Opera. WHOO!

Tuesday: Movies with Q, Jehren, Sha, Bria, Markia and Catara

Wednesday: Begin Honors S.S. Paper (probably spend more time with Alex)

Thursday: Hang with Tyler, Liz, and Sebas (possibly)

Friday: Mall with Q, Jehren, Kayla, Reed, and Angela
Carve pumpkins with Fonza
Football Game with Shelby Singers

Saturday: Finish paper

Sunday: Sleep

I'm Spade, Call me! (lol), and SEE YA! ^_^
Comments (0) | Permalink