Friday, September 25, 2009

Meh.... We have a substitute today for Shelby Singers, so that means that I'm in charge to day...... I really don't feel like taking control right now. I'd rather sleep..... Lucky for me, everyone should be busy all day today! ^_^ I just have to make sure we stay that way..... I really dislike being president some days.....

I talked to Axline the other day! ^_^ I feel better now that I have some general direction to follow, but I would feel even better if I wasn't going to fail miserably either way. He said the only way to stop an attraction to someone is to (a) Find something negative about him and blow it up ten fold; or (b) Just let it happen.
Question time!!!!
Should I fight this or let it happen?
If I fight it, I guess I could find something negative, but everything I've ever thought of have all been things that I can easily overlook. I don't know if that's because he's my best friend, or if I care that much..... (if there's even a difference.....) I REALLY don't want to let this happen. It would be wrong on so many levels. If I fight it, there's the question of "what if?" If I don't, and things go bad, I could be losing the closest person that I have to me right now........ I HATE TEENAGE EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!

I feel like something out of La Traviatta..... Except Alfredo in this case isn't fawning over Violetta. The only thing in common between the two situations is that Me and Violetta are both fighting this attraction...... The thing is she went for it.
My friend just started playing this song on the piano, and it really has me thinking? Why am I suddenly so fond of him? Each day that passes we get closer and closer. I'm lucky enough to see a side to him that not very many other people get to see. I see the beauty in him, I see his true purity and the innocence that rests in that small child hidden deep within himself. When I look into his eyes, I can see the hurt and the saddness..... I can see his passion and his burning desire to let himself live. All these things I see only because he's allowed me to do so. He hates to open up to people and so do I. Yet, I've opened up more to him than I have to anyone. He knows me better than I know my self. I go to him for everything, but lately I haven't. I've been trying to sheild myself from this new found level of emotion....





AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!

~Marissa
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