Friday, February 2, 2007

   Hmm...
I'm in a very "bloggy" mood lately. I just think it's cuz I've been needing to talk. Thank God tomorrow's Friday. *grin*

Ah, I need to write SO BAD. *cries* Like, I need therapy...so i need to write, since writing is my form of therapy. It helps me cope with shit (hence, obsessive blogging, xDDD), and just works as an outlet for all my emotions and thoughts. RAWR, I neeeeeeeeeed to write.

*giggles*

...y'know what I want? A big-ass pair of Cupid wings, and a quiver full of those magic arrows. *laughs* xDDDDDD Really, I do.

Arrows are fun...*collapses from giggles*

And...ch'yeah, I'm bored...I need sleep...

*glomps*

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

   Ugh.
It's over, it's done with. Thank fucking God.

Now, if my parents would just get the fuck off my back about calling the Internship guy. yeah, it's almost a week later;but fuck it, I'm so SICK of being CONTROLLED. I want some sort of control to my own life. I just...seriously guys, I've contemplated running away from all this shit so many times...(and being smart about it too; if I had the money, fuck it, I would. Maybe. Depends on where I would go/how much it would cost/how long I'd be able to stay hidden. Cuz fuck staying in-state, i'd be at LEAST 1000 miles away.)

Yeah. Really, I get so sick of my parents at times. My family in general. They constantly...ugh, I dunno, it's like they try to dictate my life, and what I'm going to do with it, and try to guilt trip me with every thing I do that they don't like. Like, you all know that I wanna move out like, right out of high school, and eventually live in California. They constantly talk about me staying HERE, and working HERE, and raising my family HERE, and how upset people would be if I moved, etc.

I don't care, though. It's MY life, not theirs to decide. If I don't want another semester of the internship, I should have the right to say, "The hell with it!", and NOT DO IT.

*fumes* I'm sorry guys, it just pisses me off. I really have no support from them for much of anything; they act like it, but sometimes I really wonder how much of it is support for me, and not for themselves. Like, in school, I have to do all this crazy shit, and my mom still gets upset and guilt trips me if I get B's. Or, I was telling her how stressed I was that I have to take ACTs, SATs, and AP tests all within a month or so of each other, and she was like, "Well, other AP kids have done it."

WHAT. THE. FUCK. And? I'm not "other AP kids". Maybe i don't WANT to take all that shit. Maybe I want some HELP, and some ENCOURAGEMENT.

Fuck it. I'm tired of ranting.

Love ya'll. *glomps*

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (0) | Permalink

   Meh...
One more show...one more, and I'm fucking FREE.

For two weeks. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDx *cries* Auditions for the musical (Aida this year, joy) are on the 15th.

*shrugs* I'm not really into it this year. and I seriously think it's cuz I feel like, if I audition, I'll be setting myself up for failure again. And I'll be DAMNED if I LET that shit happen to me again. *sighs* It's also cuz, like, NO ONE at school tells me I have a good voice, or I could get a lead; it feels like no one supports me. I mean, I SO have lolly and Chiru. *nods* But it kinda sucks when everyone is supporting the other girls, and I'm never noticed. It kinda makes me feel...odd...I can't really explain it; it just hurts, like that no one gives a shit about me.

*shrugs again* I dunno...I'm just really wishy-washy about the auditions right now. I might just do tech for it, since a lot of our tech people might audition. Plus, tech will totally throw me over the edge on my Thespian points; I'm already honors, and if I stage manage, I'll have 8 more points. *grins* Totally awesome; if I keep it up, I could have close to 100 Thespian points when I graduate. (You need 10 to be inducted; 60 for honors, which I have.)

Yeah...I dunno, I'm just trying to sort everything out. *nods* So, yeah. Ramblings. *laughs*

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, January 29, 2007

   Kyaa!
I'm...so...TIRED.

SO TIRED. *dies*

Our first four shows were this weekend (yush, opening night and all!). I'm so sorry i wasn't here to update, but I've been going non-stop since Monday, pretty much. It sucks, so bad. I'm just happy I'm almost done with this show. *nods*

Like, it was a good experience, but SERIOUSLY, I'm so tired. No show has wiped me out like this before. I'm ready for a break.

OTHERWISE. GOD, I've missed you guys. *glomps* I hate not being around for a long time. *snuggles*

And...ch'yeah...still exhausted. I'll try being on MSN tonight, loves, but I might be sleeping. *laughs* Two school shows tomorrow; two on Wednesday. Then.............

I'M DONE! YAY! ^o^

*SUPERflyingtackleglomps* Love ya'll!

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, January 22, 2007

  

Love,
-Megumi

(PS- That candle was used on my Sweet 16 cake too. And...yeah...that's a "cupcake" made out of sprinkles...xDDDDDD)
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, January 19, 2007

   *snuffles*
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE BEING SICK. *koff*

Dx STUPID ALLERGIES!

*snorts more nasal spray*

xDDDDDDD Love ya'll though; just though I'd spread the non-love of a stuffy nose and sinus pressure. YAY. <3

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

   ...ugh...
Yeah. I'm not in a great mood. Doesn't help that it's 11:30PM, but I really don't want to sleep. I got into it with my mom earlier, and was in one of my...bad moods...for a while. *shudders* It still hasn't quite passed yet...god, I fucking HATE getting like this, when I go all crazy-depressive-shut-out-the-world. Dx IT SUCKS.

*cudles Lolly 'n Chiru* Gwah, it's SO hard waiting another 2 years. If only '09 could come FASTER.

...sorry, I know I bug about it a lot...but, really, sometimes I just can't keep from telling myself, "Only two more years!"...cuz by then, I could either visit you guys a lot, or move out there too, or YEAH. Get out of THIS place, at least. *nods*



On a happier note...I'm probably only 3 or so inches (waist and thighs, 3 each) from fitting into a size 9...seriously, do you KNOW how happy that'd make me? I really wanna lose those by next Saturday, though yeah, it's probably impossible. but I'll certainly try. *nods* I at least fit into an 11 again, and a 9 is just a size smaller. Plus, I can get INTO the size 9's I bought...moving and breathing are a different matter, xDDDDDDD. But...yeah...it makes me happy that at least I can do SOMETHING right.

...sorry guys...like I said, it's not quite over. Though, I do love you all, and I can't say how much I appreciate you all for helping me out, and actually giving a shit about me. ^o^

*glomps*

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

   AND HO SHIT!
CHIRU! *glomps* You're featured FIVE TIMES! OMGSKJFHJHGDSGHFSHGDJGHVFHTGD!!!

*spazzes*

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yay!

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (0) | Permalink

   La la, de dah...
*sighs* I'm feeling very...blah...again. I think it's just a combination of a lot of crazy shit. *shrugs* Like...okay, yeah...THE GUY...*heavy sigh* I still can't get over him. I thought I was, but every time I see him like, flirting or whatever, with someone else, it hurts. But it's a different kind of hurt now. And then it's hard to just watch him, cuz...okay, see, my mom is friends with his neighbors, who are pretty close to his family, and my mom's friend told us yesterday that THE GUY'S mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer just over break.

Yeah. .____.U And...he's been stressed out a lot lately, even though he doesn't show it: his dad is having public problems with his job (his dad is a cop, and it's been all over the newspaper, rumors about him being a "dirty cop", which are TOTALLY untrue), now his mom, plus his bro just got back from Korea to be with them (he's in the service). And...yeah. *shrugs*

And THEN, my mom's friend who told us all this, is ALSO going through shit, cuz SHE just found out that she has a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball. YEAH. And this is also the mom of my brother's good friend.

So...yeah. T____T Too much to try and attempt to handle.

*cuddles* I'm stressed, my period is affecting me, people are moody lately...*CLINGS to Chelsea and Lolly* Thank God for you two, I swear. You guys keep me sane.

*smiles* Love ya'll.

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (2) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

   RAWR! *attacks Chelsea*
Why would I forget about joo? *blinks* Guh, i want you so bad too! *giggles*

Today we went back to school. It was boring. *nods* Finals start on Friday. Yay. *dies* I hate finals. With a passion. Especially cuz I have SIX finals this year, instead of four. at least only three of them actually matter. The rest are for my Drama and Tech classes.

*cuddles Chiru and Lolly* I'm...bored, for lack of a better word. And kinda depressed too. Like, not in a bad way, just in a kind of "blah" way. *nods* Even though I should be in full panic mode, since 100 Cranes is in 3 weeks. And yeah. Guh. *flops* I need to work on my lines. I've pretty much got them down, but I get confused a lot, since a lot of them are kind of repetative. Plus, it helps when those who have to lead you in to a line actually know THEIR lines. *points to a few other actors* 0_____o

And guh. I have to get pictures as soon as i can! *grins* My teacher says our other kimonos (ones she bought in LA, the really fancy kind *squeals*) should be here tomorrow. Then it's just a matter of getting things together, and prepared. *nods* In fact, I need to go over my costume plot again.

And...yeah...

...I need Chelsea...and Lolly...*CLINGS*

...and to write...xDDDDDDDD

Love,
-Megumi
Comments (2) | Permalink