Thursday, October 13, 2005

   EEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIII!
*can still not get over Chelsers drawing*

lolololololololol, night peoples.

-Megumi
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

   OHEMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....
GOD! Chelsers, I know you'll see this, so HERE:

Woman, I love you so freakin' much! I cannot get over that picture! It's so awesomenessage! You are a great artist! And just like, WHOA, it's great like WHOA. *hands you cupcake I made today* ya deserve it, and so much more! Gah, I need to get my little mind cranking out those stories I promised you!

But yes! Chelsea has just made my week all that much better.

Just a little note, but yeah, yesterday was just like....I dunno, but it sucked/hurt all in one. I had a good cry though, got a lot of frustrations out, and then just threw myself into working on stuff for school. So yeah, i'm not 100%, but I'm around a 75%.

But yeah, it's just stress for competition, and then a HUGE audition the week afterwards, so yeah. I'll be ok, I'm pretty sure. 'slong as i gots me my buddies, like my luffer bestest-buddie Chelsers.

So much love I make Cupid cry in SHAME:

-Megumi~Sparx
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Thursday, October 6, 2005

   SQUEEEEEEEE!!! 0__o *ish SPANKED*
LOLZ, Chels~chan spank'd mees. Not literally, though I bet she would've if she could've. Dun worry lufferly, I'd never do anything to take myself away from you! And gah, you made me squee so much with your uber-ego-strokingful-ness comment thingy.

*koff* I 'unoo about rockin' BW's cock...though that pic was HaWt Chels...

ANYWAY!

There was a major riot at my school today! Gang fights. At least 100 people involved, 20-30 arrests, one kid was tazered for assulting an officer, and one security guard was hit by a rock or bottle and had to be taken to the hospital. Yeah, so we were on lock down for 3+ hours (12:15 to 3:30 or so).

Tomorrow's gonna be HELL at school 'cause of that manZZZZZZ. But y'know what i thought about that kid, who got tazered?

::Fuckin' PWNAGE man. In your ASSSSSSSSSSSS, ololololz.::

Seriously. I know him too, and a few of the kids who got arrested. 'Tis crazy shiznats.

But YESH, 'twas a crazy day. Fun though, in an odd way. 0___o

So much love i make Cupid cry in SHAME:

-Megumi~Sparx (Yesh, I knows, I change it a lots! XD)
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Wednesday, October 5, 2005

   Ph33r my 1337 memorIZation skahillZ....
I'm off-book for my scene! w00t! And I've probably read it...what, 5 times?

Man, I'm the shit. 8D

Related: me and that chick impressed the fuck out of our class with that baby. Well, those who were watching. The rest were at this bitchin' in-school concert (THAT I MISSED!!!! GAH, DOUBLEYEW TEE EFF MANS!!!) that was during the same period. I only saw one song of it...they played all cover songs, and the chick's Kelly Clarkson needs help, but over all they were good.

But yeah, +5 on the ego scale.

ANYWAYS...

Days 'till competition: 15 tomorrow. Can't wait!



Now, totally un-drama-class-related:

I 'unno. Just wanted to stroke my wittle ego.

So much love I make Cupid cry in SHAME: (<----Look! The CAPS are back!)

-Sparky~chan
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Friday, September 30, 2005

   Am I a bad person?
God, I'm so fucking angry with myself...

Today we had a few auditions in Advanced for this benefit show next week. Well, two of these ex-friends of mine were auditioing, and I was expecting them to suck pretty hard-XXX-core.

Well surprise FUCKING surprise. Everyone was blown away by them, including myself. i just couldn't believe it. So then i started beating myself up, because there's no way in Hell I'd ever think i was that awesome, then i got pissed at myself for wanting them to suck, and yeah...

Damn me and my no self-esteem. And then my mom was all talking to me about it, and inside my head i was just screaming at her to stop lying to me, and I was like, "Face it mom, there's no use of me being in Advanced, I don't even deserve it, and freakin' A, it doesn't matter if i had the best voice ever, there's no use in being an alto, there's never a lead or good part for altos." And yeah, i feel really fucked up right now.

I don't even want to go to competition anymore, because I swear, I'm utterly terrible at acting. like, I guess it's because of how my parents pushed me to be "perfect" when I was little, and just having people constantly throw and put me down, but I have no faith in myself with anything I do. Absolutely nothing, I just feel like quitting that class, because I shouldn't burden others by keeping my no-talent-ass around, right? I just can't see or hear what others do when I get compliments, and I just don't feel like I deserve them.

Does all that make me a bad person? Really, does it? 'Cause I feel pretty fucked up on the inside with everything I think about myself, and how I know it's not right, but it's all I can remember feeling about myself, so yeah. I'm a goddamn freakin' therapist's wet dream, with the way I'm fucked up in the head. Shit shit fucking shit, I really do hate myself at times.

Damn it ma, you better get me a therapist soon, or I'm freaking just quitting school and leaving you to pick up the pieces of myself when I go all delinquient on your ass...

-Sparx
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

   Doin' better, and funny dreams!
Gramma's at home, all her tests came back normal...well, her red blood cells are up because of her smoking, but as for that, nothin'. The rest come back on Thursday, so we'll have to say. I just want to thank everyone and anyone -'specially j00 Chelsers- who kept this in their thoughts today and last night. I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate it! =D

Yeah, so, my funny dream...

Ho'kays. I was at my school, in the theatre (where I always am 0_o). For some reason, we were putting on "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". YEAH. From there, it just gets so cracked out. Some highlights? The lobby floor (where I was hanging out during most of this dream) looked like the stained glass colmn tops from Kingdom Hearts. Satan stopped by (DON'T ASK!!!) and he was some really fat old dude, and he locked the lobby doors and said "If you go out before the show's over, you'll be burning in Hell," and we were just like OHEMGEE 0___o, and these dudes went out, and we could see 'em all in pain, and my buddy BEEJAY (it's BJ, but yeah) was all, "HAHA, they're such crackheads!" and we were just like "......". Oh, and then the ZOMBIES. Zombies were stalking my ass, so I hid in this little room with LOTSA pillows, and some dude who was in the show as this dude Vlad (I've never seen Monty Python, so dunask), but he pushed me out of the room.

Oh, and we were having an after party at the Chuck E. Cheese-esque place. But it was way more ghetto. Like, with paper plates and Dixie Cups, and like, NO GAMES. And you had to win a cake at a vending machine.

:3 Dunask. I have really warped dreams at times. But that thing kept me happy all day, except I'd go all bipolar at times and just get depressed. But I'm ok for right now, I swears.

So much love I make Cupid cry in SHAME:

-Sparky~chan
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   I wanna hug...
Dude...

My grandma's sick. Tomorrow, she's going to the hospital for tests and stuff. But i know what everyone's thinking: that she might die.

I don't know what the hell would happen if my gramma died. I really don't. I, for one, don't think I could stand it very well. Hell, i'd probably ask to go live with some other family out-of-state for a while. Or I'd just...I dunno, I'd just need to get out of here and deal with it on my own. As for everyone else, i just don't know. I really don't.

Please, anyone who reads this, from the bottom of your hearts, PLEASE just, I dunno, keep this in your thoughts...in the name of all things good, pray to whatever diety or force you believe in, because the last thing my family needs this year is to lose my grandma. I really don't know what to do, I feel so helpless, and I just feel alone...

Please God, anyone listening to me, don't let her die. Don't do this to me and my family, not now. Please...

-Sparky
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   Lookie, issa Trojan!
Yep. New colors/icon. Going through my collection, wanted something a little cuter and funnier.

Chelsers, love ya girl. So much. Thanks for being there for me; know that I'm ALWAYS there for you too. *muah*

So much love that I make Cupid cry in SHAME:

-Sparx
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

   To all of my late brothers and sisters
Dude. Yesterday, I found out some guy I knew last year was stabbed to death Saturday night. I wasn't close to him, but I knew him by sight and name and stuff.

It's hard. I mean, this year ALONE my school has lost 7 ex-students, starting in February. Most of them were seniors LAST YEAR. It's just...so weird. And sad.

People are really torn up, again. I mean, last week we lost 3 girls in a car accident, and were hit hard. Now, it's JP. Everyone's just real down, crying even; we're all mourning him, even if we barely knew him.

For all you guys, who've passed on: John, Jess, Mark, 'Manda and your girls, and now JP; we'll always miss you, and will never forget you. Rest in peace homies.

-Sparx
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

   The uberly unable-to-be-describedness of...
HOMECOMING.

Yeah, game was yesterday (we lost, but it was still fun, 'cause my group was like, louder than WHOA), and dance just ended like, 30mins. ago.

Neh, it was OK. I actually enjoyed myself there for awhile, 'cause THE DUDE was there, but then my sister made a fool of herself/me (she was a little bit high, and is a freakin' idiot when she's on drugs) with him. Then he and his friends left 'cause they didn't like the music. (R&B, Reggaton, and some Rap)

But they weren't there for the TECHNORAVESHIZNATOMGWHOA. That was like, so awesome. I was all showing off my raver skillZ, being cool. I was all dressed for seduction too, but since THE DUDE left, I didn't get to use my power.

Meh, it was better than last year's at least.

But my feet hurt like a bitch now. T______________T

-Sparx
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