Tuesday, January 24, 2006

last post
cia-chan is more or less breaking up with me and since this site was created as a way for me to talk with her it is no longer needed. the break up is my fault and represents the pinacle of male stupidity. i wrecked the only relationship i have ever known for nothing. i dont express my feelings well but for all those who read this know that i still love her....................... good bye
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Monday, January 23, 2006

   cia is kinda mad at me
before any of u specifically yasha decide to kill me let me explain, cia is kinda uncomfortable with people touching her(which is understandable everyone is uncomfortable). I like to cuddle which is why cia is mad at me I cuddled to much. Cia didn’t tell me so I didn’t get the hint that she was uncomfortable. The situation was entirely my fault now I pay the price for it which is fine because as the loving boyfriend which I am I take responsibility for her uncomfortableness. This is my public apology to cia she has already received my private one but she still needs time to slow down have to remember neither of us have ever really been in a relationship before. Please don’t be mad at me
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Sunday, January 22, 2006

what is a hero
this is an excerpt from one of my favorite books. it is called Measure of a hero by blane lee pardoe if your into mecha type literature i insist u pick this book up.

"what makes a hero? Circumstance, timing, the willingness to do something more than expected and anticapated; yes, all of these things factor in. But there is more. A true hero is not a once in a lifetime phenomenon. true heros perform herocially over and overagain, and do so with such a degree of style and personalit, police officers, fireman, members of the armed forces, and perhaps that person in the room with you now."

i write this post not just because i enjoy the story or its message. i want to know can any of you think of a real person in your life who matches the description above. i hope alot of u leave comments of who your heros are.

in about a week i will post who i think are the winners of who is a real hero
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Saturday, January 21, 2006

Confusidness
yes i said confusidness, this is a state i find myself in alot recently between my gf and anime(more the anime) i get confused really easily. i am not stupid or slow just cunfused so i refer to this as my constant state of confusidness. do u think that could be a real word because that would be more confusing then i am. who knows besides the strange people who make dictionarys which i got to say would be the lamest job ever

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Friday, January 20, 2006

The Meaning of life
For my english class i wrote an essay that i had entitled one is the loneliest number. this essay was all about why i specifically feel alone and how i got their. i wont repeat the entire essay but the main point i was trying to make was that all people need someone to care and love them. cia and i have talked about this essay and she was afraid that her self-destructiveness would end up hurting me. i told her it was too late for that because i know she cares for me that just ending the relation would cause more pain then any self explosions of hers might inflict on me. i have come to realize that everyone around her tries to protect her from percieved dangers including those found in a relationship. the problem with this is u cannot protect someone forever and the amount of protection she has now wether real or imagined could end up causing her more pain.

you may be wondering why anyone would want to be in a relationship like this but most of u know cia at least what she puts on her site. the time has come in my life when i need someone too. being alone is not just a state of being but an attitude too and causes more self pain than the loss of love ever could. i believe that cia and i need each not an a physical sense but in an emotional one. that is my meaning of life...
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Thursday, January 19, 2006

college
I am College bound senior like quite a few people at my school if not all
I applied to six schools i have heard back from 4 so far
My choices are
Embry-Riddle Aviation univeristy in prescott arizona
St. Cloud State Univerisity in minnesota somewhere near the twin cities i think
UW milwaukee in milwaukee
and UW Plattville and finally purdue in layfayette in indiana

UW lacrosse denied (not really by favorite school anyway


when talking about the programs offered my first choices are embry and st.cloud (besides st.cloud is closer)oh and so u know i chose these schools because i want to be either a pilot or a historian/history teacher
embry-just aviation but excellent program also is farthest and most expensive
st cloud has both aviation and history
purdue has both but i didnt make it into engineering college but i did the history one
uw platville has general engineering but not aviation and does have history
uw milwaukee just has history
I could use some advice to decide where to go please help

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I am not really a blogger at all this will be my first time setting this thing up, so please be patient with me.

for those of u who couldn't quess the site and the post where all written by cia
who is a wonderful girlfriend for setting this up for me. which is good because this was her idea in the first place.
right now i am wasting time before having to go to school to do my final exams for Conceptual physics (with Cia) and senior english both difficult classes but the tests shouldn't be too hard, i think
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

1st post
Hey everyone~! This is Cia-Chan, I am working on Spectre's site in order to have it have something to it...

um...take it easy on him 'k? He only joined to talk with me (which invades my privacy a bit ^^''') and he doesn't understand anime...at all...

Well, I'm sure both he and I will be talking to you later...ja!
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