Sunday, April 4, 2010

we are not using these words anymore
we are having moar politically correct terms nao

edit: I'm sorry for using that word, I'm sorry if you were offended by my use of that word, I feel incredibly bad for using that word, I feel INCREDIBLY bad for using that word, I promise I'll try to educate myself before I throw around words I don't know, I promise never to use that word again
.
.
.
don't even ask.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, March 26, 2010

Alli
novels
poetry
theater
clothes
thrift stores
subculture
Lady Gaga
Napoleon
history
shipping
gay boys
love
laughing for three hours straight. Three. Fucking. Hours.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, March 25, 2010

there are too many words and none of the book definitions are right.
but ambigender fits. <3
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, March 18, 2010

metaphors
I've never been so sure of myself.
I've never been so unsure of others.

I'm trapped under the weight of humanity's filth.
If I stay here quietly, I'll suffocate.
If I call out, it'll cause a landslide and crush me.
Do I remain silent and die slowly or die quickly and let someone know I existed?

You're blinded. Tell me when the sun goes down so you can rejoin the world of the seeing.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I'm thinking about my portfolio. Or lack of. I was talking to the graphics teacher (not MY graphics teacher, because mine is dumbINEXPERIENCED and I know more photoshop than her) and he was talking about how my whole portfolio can't be the CG stuff that we're doing in class. And I was like DAMN because I sure as hell am not taking an art class in school. stupid variety class. Outside school summer courses cost moneys and embarrassment because it's like...one on one. So I'm trying to think of traditional media things I can do on my own? WELLWELLWELL I jumped on google and got heaps of inspiration. There are a bunch of realistic things I want to do now and PAINTING what is that even I HATE painting but I want to so bad and ART NOUVEAU my mommy said she'll model for me and I'm furiously studying the characteristics of that and art deco. 8))) If only I could find the time, I'm up to my butt in homework until next month.

Also... if I want to be a graphic designer in advertising apparently I need a fine arts degree... which my asian mother and starving artist father were none too pleased about. That was never my intention. I was thinking more on the advertising side than the art side. I don't know what to doooo.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Tavi Gevinson anybody?
My mommy told me to look her up because she was young, successful, and bizarre (and she's always giving me links to these child prodigies and freaks because she wants me to be one. More on the prodigy side though) So I look this girl up and my my my, what a cutie. I would die for her clothing ideas! She embodies the idea of indie fashion, from her beginnings to her fanbase. Oh SNAP. If I can't have her brain, can I draw her at least?

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/
http://www.weardrobe.com/tavi
Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I came across this LJ community ENTIRELY by accident and reading the stuff is making me feel good. Which is really surprising because usually when I read glbt fiction/articles I get kinda depressed. But this post almost sums up what I want to say. There are other things I want to rant about but I just feel so GOOD about this community and holy crap I'm not alone and I don't have to type it out this way. I don't know why that scares me so much.

"Hi, I'm new to this community, my name is Stephanie. I'm a 20 year old pre-med student. I guess I am bi-sexual.

I never really considered myself gender-queer or anything, but throughout the years I began to notice that the people who I looked up to and who attracted me most were usually androgynous and I decided I wanted to be like them. I see myself as stuck in a role. Not that I don't like gender-roles, I revel in them. I just resent having to stick with just one. I knew very young that, although I liked being a girl alot, I also wished sometimes that I could be a boy instead. I always wished I could change from one to the other at will. I love gender-roles. Whenever I see a gay couple, the first thing I wanna know is who is on top. I hate gender. I wish everyone on earth were the same gender and we got to define our roles instead of them defining us. I love androgynous looking bodies, I always wished I had one, but sadly while I'm not fat, my hips are too big for me to be mistaken as a guy, and I am short to top it off.

...that, and I wish I had a penis.

I don't quite have myself figured out, but maybe if I keep writing and reading about it, I will piece the puzzle together."
Comments (0) | Permalink

The thoughts come strongest when I'm laying in bed at night.
Even when I wake up early, I'm scared to type.
.
.
.
halp. it's not so serious, I just need to get it out.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, February 6, 2010

friends
Since myotaku was put out of commission I just stopped meeting people online. Not that I made that many closeclose friends, I just miss reading about people's lives. Made a livejournal account and it's great because I made some new friends and they're just dandy and it's super easy to find people with the same interests as you over there, as opposed to here where you just signed guestbooks until someone clicked with you.

butanyway I met this German girl and she's fourteen and draws reallycutethings but she thinks her art is spam and her posts are spam and she stops herself from writing what she really wants and it makes me SAD because talking was the only way Brittany got better, I'm glad I didn't lose her, I don't want to see anyone on the internet commit suicide. Since I'm an avid stalker I found this girls other blog with all her thoughts about life and what really goes on which made me feel even worse because there were a few entries that talked about how she was glad no one read the blog and how if anyone she knew read the stuff on there she would die, and I feel like I just opened up a can of worms, or her secret diary, or her whole fucking chest and ripped her heart out, and it's not my fault, how was I supposed to know, it's on the internet it's not private, but I just feel awful for it and now I know what she means when she says there are things she can't talk about and I want to help her but I can't let her know I know.

now I'm all stupid and depressed and thinking about things I try not to and yeah, I just said the way to make things better is to talk them out but talking about them doesn't belong here in this post about a girl with a real problem. Maybe I'll do a separate post yeah that sounds good.

Don't give up Miri.
Comments (0) | Permalink