Sunday, September 19, 2004

   Life's an evil, sorry, no good thing that.....oh, sorry.
Ahhh, hello, my friends who do not judge me, think I'm weird, or strand me in the middle of nowhere is a butt-ugly trailer.
I have been vacant, as you can see by my absence of posts. I was at a country music festival; in a very cramped, ugly trailer, seperated from civilization. WHAT FUN!!! >_<

School went ok on Friday, the usual boring day, cept for Ledster getting kicked in the nuts, but that is another story completely. lol

See, It was after lunch, and I got reward table, so did Ryu and Tanmei. We all were going outside when...poor bloke, Lester was kneeling on the ground, in a fetal position! I asked him what was wrong, and between moans of painful suffering, I heard, "My balls, kid-who-plays-the-bassoon." Ok, JK, he did call me Kayla. THAT'S RIGHT. I told you my name. But y'know what????? you don't know my last name or my social security number, so BLEH!!!

Ok, that was pretty much all that was interesting for the whole of my weekend.

Tomorrow I go to school 45 min. early for Band Council. FREE DONUTS! Yeah, I know, more important things, but do you know how long it's been since I've had a scrumptious Krispy Kreme??? A while.
Then, I go to the dentist to get my teeth filled with a sealant to prevent cavities. YaY. I've had it done befroe, and it tastes AWFUL!!! *bleh* So that is my agenda.

Y'know? My life is really sucky right now, so I'm just gonna vent for a min, ok? Here is some emails that describe my life thus far. You really don't have to read them, it really will take a while, so pull up a cookie and go to the john real quick before you start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The whole idea is to have alone time with the boys
that means not having you around


~~~~~~~~~~~

You will be meeting us at the park behind our house at 10 am on the 2nd of October.

Jane


~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane,
I will be picking the kids up at 10 on the 2nd of October.
Aaron


~~~~~~~~~~~

No Aaron-these are the choices you made-and as usual, you refuse to
accept responsibility for them. It's always everyone else's fault.
Never yours, and never Kim's. I was told by YOUR family that you had
told them they could not contact the boys, nor could they see the boys,
unless the boys were with you. I was also told about all the things
that had been said by you and Kim about the boys, and about me, to the
entire family. I know the whole story. You've also twisted everything
else around until all the boys care about is material things. They have
nothing more than the average kid. God knows, you've never given them
any more than the minimum amount that the state of Texas requires for
two children. Thank God they've always had me and my family to take
care of them!
This has never been about your rules in your house. You chose to send
that letter. You knew what the consequences would be. You chose not to
contact the boys-you did not invite them to call you, email you or write
you. You only acknowledged your son's birthday with a cheesy birthday
card that someone had sprayed with stinking perfume. That hurt him-not
even a phone call. You're so worried about your feelings. You're
right-it is a tough world-but guess what? You're the adult. You're
acting-and have been acting all along-like the biggest child of them
all. You don't even care how badly you've hurt your own children.
You can blame everyone else for all of this-but the fact of the matter
is-you chose to write that letter, signed that letter, and sent that
letter-not even caring how it would affect the boys. You have no idea
how it has-you never even bothered to find out. Now you've decided that
they've been punished enough, and you're ready to see them again. Let's
all shout for joy.

Jane

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane,
Once again some how things have found their way out of context
again. This is the original letter below.
February
12, 2004


Dear Jane,

I have been thinking about the situation over a long period of time and
have come to the conclusion it would be in the best interest of the boys
if I didn't see them for a while. It has come to be since November that
they are not interested in seeing or being with me. Both of them have
said, "I am either a bad father because I didn't discipline them when
they were younger or they would rather be with you because of material
things". I accept that. If you can buy their love and they think that
is acceptable I will just have to wait until they are ready for me to
show them my love. I don't want to make them do things they do not want
to do and spending time with me is causing a problem for them. This by
NO means says, "I do not love them" because I do with all my heart as
you know and they do too but, the crying and begging to go home to their
mom has gotten out of hand and has become a habit. A habit I no longer
want to feel I am making happen. So, I will temporarily discontinue my
right to pick them up on Saturdays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays until
they decide they WANT to see or be with me. This is not going to happen
overnight and I realize this. They have been convinced of a lot of
things.

Note:

I can't seem to find the direct quote about choosing Kim and the girls
over the boys? I said in the letter above that I didn't want to make

the boys do anything they didn't want to do and they could see me
again when "they were ready". I have never forbidden my family to
see the boys, don't know where that came from. They all have your
phone number and e-mail addresses. As far as cards, b-days, phone
calls and such I have a phone and a mailbox too.
As far as the so called bitterness toward Kim...just how many
more apologies do you need to feel secure enough to quit bringing
it up in front of the boys. As far as sleeping on the floor,
Reed new exactly where his stuff was and his spot to sleep.
Ethan almost always had the bed and Kayla slept in the floor.
He also had the most control over her TV, computer and everything
else in her room.
So I don't need another word on sleeping arrangements or whose
room belongs to whom. The only grilling Ethan got around here
was mostly for the way he was acting. Not being respectful of others,
back mouthing, rolling his eyes back in his head and acting
like a total jackass. I have the authority in my house and you
in yours. He'll follow my rules here and yours there that's fair
we're the parents not him. As far as hurt goes they don't hurt
anymore than anyone else. It's a tough world and we all have to
deal with change at one time or another. It's past time to stop
the bickering and all get along for all the kids sake.
Aaron

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaron:

Thank you for your condolences on Scott's dad. We appreciate them.

This whole thing had nothing to do with your rules in your house. It
simply had to do with the fact that you chose Kim and her daughters over

your own two sons (that was a direct quote). You wrote OUR sons a
letter telling them that you did not want to see them anymore. You did
not call, come by.....had even forbidden your family to contact them.
The only communication they had from you for over 8 months was an Easter

card and a birthday card for Ethan. Suddenly you email, and you expect
them to want to see you after a 2 minute telephone conversation. You
hurt them deeply, Aaron. They feel like you only want to see them
because your family has given you such a hard time about all of this.
As far as your family goes-they now know that all they have to do is
either email or call, and they are welcome to see the boys-as they
always had been.

The boys feel a lot of bitterness towards Kim because of the things she
has done and said. She has called (and you forwarded the email) them
ugly names, made them sleep on the floor, refused to give them time
alone with you, called me names in front of them, told that "this is the

girls home, not yours" when they come to visit, made Ethan
uncomfortable by constantly grilling him and having your little "talks",

and the list goes on and on. Then she denies she's done it. I do
understand that it is not easy being a stepmother, but there was and is
not a reason in this world to blame the kids for something that is
between you and I. The boys should not have to feel uncomfortable
when they want to see you. They've been hurt enough, Aaron.

Jane

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane,
Sorry to hear the bad news about Scott's dad.
It will have to be the next Saturday because the girls won't
understand why they can't come. They haven't done anything wrong.
I don't understand why they don't want to see Kim either. All
we wanted is for them to follow a few simple house rules. This has
to be a one time deal meeting by my self. So we'll meet next
Saturday the 2nd of October. Even if its just the little park behind
your apartment at 10:00 for an hour or so I can discuss the boys

feelings with them.
Aaron
ps. Did the boys get their letters from the girls?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaron:

Do to the death of Scott's dad on Tuesday, we will be in Abilene for the

funeral this weekend. If you are still interested in a meeting with the

boys, please let us know. Maybe next Saturday? They have not changed
their minds re: it being only you. I asked them again this morning.
I'm sorry.

Jane

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane,
Just wondering how the kids are doing. Is Ethan still going to the same
school? Which one is Reed going to? Do they like their teachers?
Have they got any progress reports yet? Have either been sick?
Just wanted to know.
Aaron

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K, sorry guys, here is a lil' dictionary of that.

BOYS: My step brothers, Ethan is the oldest, at 13, Reed is the youngest, at 5.

AARON: My stepdad.

JANE: His ex wife.

KIM: My mom

KAYLA: Me

MEGAN: My mom

Any other questions, just ask.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah, I just spilled my guts all over the floor, I had to get that out, guys. Sorry, lol, my home life is so jacked up, I gotta enjoy school or I'd be suicidal. Yes, Ryu, that is why I like school.

Thanks for reading my BS. Talk to ya tomorrow, I gotta get to sleep.

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