Monday, January 30, 2006

   BORED
I am bored
that is all!!
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Sunday, January 29, 2006

   Aaaahhhhh!
Will has proven his physical love for me....

We got home late from a friends house.....midnight-ish.....and we were both tired so we went to bed....well I layed down and he started to make the moves on me and kept telling me how beautiful I was and how he will always love me no matter how big I get....and I could tell he meant it....so we did our thing and it was so loving and passionate....to me anyway....no clue if it was to him....but when we got done he told me that he loved me and that he would never stop loving me no matter how big I got.....I felt so pretty and loved....and I still do.....he fell asleep right after he said that but that's a good thing to me.....I don't want him going out to wash the car or anything.....lol.....but yeah I had a really good evening.....

AAaaaahhhhh....soooooooo.....relived
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Saturday, January 28, 2006

   Such a bad night!
I swear sadness follows me and waits to attack!!

Last night I was sitting with Will (my fiance) and he said that he was going to do somethings when we went to bed....you can kinda get the picture.....so when 11:30 rolled around we went to bed and all he did was throw his arm over me and squish me against the wall....and he snored....I was so hurt....I felt like he didn't find me attractive anymore....mainly b/c he hasn't made any moves on me since I started gaining weight for the baby! And when I told him that I felt this way....the first time it happened he just said that he was really tired and didn't feel like it....I don't really believe him because when we first got together he never turned away a chance to BE with me....now he does quite often....and he swears that it's just really bad timeing but I don't know to me he's changing and I can't stand it....I want the old Will back!!

Bye
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Thursday, January 26, 2006

   I KNEW IT!!!!
It always happens...I can't have a good day without having a really bad day follow closly....

I had such a bad day yesterday!! My grandmother seems to think that just because I am not throwing up and running a fever there's nothing wrong with me....the doctor told me not to strain my self and get as much rest as possible that's why he took me out of school!! But I was comming down the hall to the kitchen and she talking about me so I asked what I did and she said that their was nothing wrong with me and that I was a lazy little bitch....she was the one who was on my back about not doing anything and then she calls me lazy!!!

Well you can imagine that I didn't take that bullshit too lightly....I started yelling back at her....and then she just kept on even when I stopped and started helping with dinner she just had to start again....

And she's constantly saying that I'm going to lose my baby and that she won't be held responsible and all kinds of shit....but if I lose the baby it will be over stress and that is her fault!!

Just thinking about yesterday pisses me off!!!
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

   !!GOOD DAY!!
I had a really good day yesterday...my mom was being really nice...she brought me to two stores and let me get some clothes so that I would have some when all of my other clothes start getting way too tight....I got the greatest skirt in the world it looks so good on me....and flip-flops to match

Ok enough of my great day..

How was everyone elses days yesterday??
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Monday, January 23, 2006

   !!TIRED!!
I am very tired today I haven't really done much today except sleep but I am still very tired...

I really love mail order catalogs....I am going to order some adult anime...I tink....I am still debating as to whether I am or not...
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Monday, January 16, 2006

   Getting tired of company!!
I am getting so tired of all of the attention....I love Will with all of my heart but he is getting on my nerves he's always around and always pissing me off...and I don't think it's anything that he's doing...I have been getting pissed at everyone for everything lately and I don't mean too but it's just been happening and I know that everyone muct be getting tired of me and all of my whining and things like that but I haven't been sleeping very well lately and that has been making me cranky so I have been snapping at everyone....I feel bad about that....and I don't want him to think that it's his fault or anything but I can't say for sure it's not....sigh....I guess I will have to sleep on it....
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Friday, January 6, 2006

   Unloved...
I feel so unloved around here...

I have put up a new art piece and no one has even checked it out....

I really hate it when that happens...I feel like I do it all for nothing...

On a higher note Will came home the other day like the day after he left and I was so happy as was he...

I also found the drawings that I thought had burned in the house...all of my really good ones...I had left them at school and I was looking around the class for it today and I found it on a really high shelf covered in dust...I was ready to jump up and down for joy...but I contained myself...

I have a doctors appointment monday with the obgyn to see how far along I am...I will post here after I find out...

I am very excited...I just found out that I will be able to walk with my class...I mean I knew I would graduate with them but I didn't think I would be able to wakl but today I had to go to the guidence office to get a class change and I was toldthat I would be given the info and my name would be put on the graduation list....I know that I won't be able to afford to walk but I like the thought....

Well I'm going to shut up now...lol
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Thursday, January 5, 2006

   depressed
I am a little bit depressed today...

Will went to his mothers house for a couple of weeks to go to work for a logging company or somthing like that and he said that he would be back as soon as he got enough money to get me off probation....

He was crying when he was getting ready to leave and kept saying that he ws missing me and he wasn't even gone yet...I thought that was sweet....

When I was in the room with him while he was looking for his clothes he tackled me onto the bed and started kissing me and said that he didn't want to stop....after a few minutes I had to make him because he had to meet his cousin so he could get up to NC in time to start the job and get back to me....

He called me while I was on the way home and didn't want to hang up he said that he couldn't wait to get home to me and that he would call me every night....after work...

I cried all the way to meet his cousin and all the way home...is that pathetic of me??


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Tuesday, January 3, 2006

   Here's the scoop!
OK I took another test this morning and it was positive again I am going to the doctors this afternoon and I'm going to try and get her to give me a test though I don't know how well that will turn out since I'm not 18 yet! I may need a note from my mother and I don't want her to know yet! If I am she will find out when I find it's the right time!
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