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Friday, October 14, 2005
Must cheer up!
I need to cheer up I am so depressed and my fiance thinks it's his fault. it's not but you can't tell him that....he thinks it's his job to keep me happy and when I'm not he blames himself... *sigh*
I wish I wasn't like this I feel bad when he blames himself for shit like this....but nomatter how hard I try I can't change the way I am....
I can't wait to turn 18 and get married! Then I can get my own palce instead of living with my mother! I hate her rules. She won't let me sleep in the same room! She also said that if she finds out that we're having sex we have to get out of her house! Tha's some bullshit right there. I'm not aloud to smoke and I have to get a job, even though my fiance donesn't want me to have one.....I dn't know what to do...I want so bad to hae my own place but that doesn't seem possible right now....Will (my fiance) only gets to work 2 days a week and that is doing nothing for his pay check....he got a wopping 20$ last week....I told him not to spend it all in one place....he's trying to find another job but that's not going too well right now...I have an interview today but I don't think that I'll get the job...I have no fast food experience....and that tends to be a problem.
*scream*
what am I going to do!
*scream*
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005
OMMFG
My house burnt down!!
I can't believe it!!!!!
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
AAHHH!
I am getting MARRIED!!
OCT. 31, 2006
I can't wait....but it's not to Chris...my ex-bf....it's too Will...
I am so fucking happy!
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
The aftermath...
When all of the craziness from my last post was finninshed I had to tell my boyfriend. I felt so bad because the whole time I was with the other guy I never once thought of my boyfriend. When I called Chris, that's my boyfriend, I was crying so bad he thought I was hurt and asked me what happened. After a minute I calmed down enough to tell him and he sounded like he was going to cry. He said that he couldn't judge me because he had no clue what I was going through. And that he would not throw it up in my face later. He also said that we had to move on and that the past can't be changed.
I couldn't believe that he didn't break up with me. I also couldn't believe that he never once raised his voice or called me anything obscene. That made me feel even worse.
I am so not letting him go. If he can forgive me for something like that then he is a very good man to keep. And I say man because only a man could have delt with the situation like he did.
Tell me what you think and anything else that you might have to say.
Bi Bi for now
veornica
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Sunday, May 8, 2005
Oi! What Kind of Loner Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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::blink blink::
I have had the craziest time these last few months. WOW! Let me see where should I begin...I know somewhere around the begining.
18 and older! Read at own risk.
I can't believe what I did. One of my "friends" invited me over to her house after not calling me or anything for over a year! Well I didn't think much about it. So I went. And I had forgotten that she was seeing this guy that I had only seen like once or twice and I knew nothing about him. Well when I got over there I realized that he had a thing for me! And she said that she didn't care but when he started to get a little more friendly she got so pissed and then tried to play it off like she wasn't. Well I went over there again the next week and I couldn't believe what happened. One thing is I was just kidding around when I told him to go get some coolers but he done it! Well later that night we started playing a "game". Well he strips down and starts wlaking around like it was the most narual thing in the world to him. I was in shock! My mouth has never dopped that far in my whole life. And he had a nice ass to boot! lol. Well the next day which was Sunday I had to go home. And right before I left He kissed me and I jerked away from him and I looked at her thinking she was going to be pissed and she didn't seemed phased. So the next time I went over there they had bought some real liquor and we all got drunk and decied to go out on the roof. Not the smartest group of drunks let me tell ya. But after we got up there he kissed me again and I was too drunk to care so I was making out with him and he started get a little handsy. And sticks him hand up my shirt and starts doing other stuff I think you can figue out what he was doing. And then all of a sudden she says OK I am getting bored lets go inside. Which pretty much told me that she was not happy with what was going on. And then when we got back inside I got changed for bed and layed down and all that and he insisted that I lay next to him. I didn't think much about it but then he started in on me again and she didn't seem to care. I guess that since she could watch she was OK. But all she would let him do is dry fuck me and that was all! I was pissed. She said that I was the only person he couldn't really sleep with. I was very pissed and she wouldn't let him go down on me. And he was begging her to let him but she wouldn't. So in the end I kept my pants on and I had a pretty good time. But then they told me that they wanted me to move in with them. And I was all for it. lol. But my mom went off the deep end. Then she finally gave in and said that I could on my B-Day. Well a week before my B-Day I went to there house and she had to go to work so she said that I could hang out with him. And when we dropped her off we went back to there house to watch a movie. Or so I thought. I got maybe 10 or 20 min in to movie and he starts kissing on my neck and then he turned off the TV and decided that he didn't want to wait for her approval to go down on me. And about 2 and 1/2 hours later he got up and pee'd or somthing and when he got beck he asked if he could take off his clothes. I didn't care but he didn't ask me if he could fuck me he just done it. And I really didn't want him to go that far but I never said anything. I never even told him that I wasn't sure if we should do it. I just layed there in pain. I thought so many time stop we should be doing this but I never said a damn thing. Well the next day she called me up and asked if it was cool that they came and picked me up and it of course was and we all went caving. The next day she calls me up and she is in hysterics. Asking me what the hell I was think and how far did we go. And I was ready to kil him because he said he wouldn't say anything! And he must have because I didn't and she's not psychic! Well I got a ride over there and she kept telling me how she couldn't believe that I could betray her like this and all this shit and she never once blamed him. He started it and she should have been mad at him he's older than me he should have known better. By the way she's 20 and he's 33. Don't say a damn thing about his age! -glare- but anyway she finally said that she never wanted to hear from me again and that I had better not try and call him. Well I did call and she called back and told me that if I called again she would kill me so I haven't called since. I can't believe that she went off the deep end like that. He is a sex addict and she should have known not to leave me alone with him!
And I can't believe that she said that he said that he was just using me for sex and that he was disapointed! What the fuck did he expect it was my first time! I can't understand what the hellhe was thinking. And I can't understand why I miss him so much and why I can't hate him! I need some help if any of you have anyadvise please help me! I am a GD mess.
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Monday, December 27, 2004
Hey all
I am so happy...
I gots all kinds of good stuff for Christmas....movies, games...and other not so important to you stuff....
But I got the InuYasha Movie....Mwhahahaha....and Anastasia....
Teken 4
And Silent Hill 4: The Room (very scary)
I hope everyones holidaies went very well....
:3
-Veronica
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
Holla...
I am just here to say hey to all that still visit me and all that....
I know that I don't update very often, however I plan to add a new work art....ASAP....
I have some comp. problems right now so that makes things a bit diffcult....
I am currently taking request and will draw just about anything...just got to ask....PM me to tell me...
That's all for now....
-Veronica :D
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