myOtaku.com: stars go bye

You know, I find it really hard to trust people. It usually takes a long time before I can actually let people in...bringing them closer to my life, telling them what's on my mind, etc. I mean, I only tell my friends certain things. I don't tell them everything right away, although it may seem like that. I always see if they are trustworthy, like, this certain someone for example(don't worry, she doesn't have an otaku).
I just always have to be careful around her, I was so used to having her around, and when I all of a sudden needed her, she wasn't there. It's like, I'm not sure. I have never really found anyone that I could just tell everything to, and who'd follow to the end, except one, GOD. I mean, when my friends need me, I try to be there for them the best I can, but, when I needed them, through past experiences, they just feel awkward and don't know what to do, so, I sense the awkwardness and just usually end up changing the subject. It's not that I'm offending all my friends, it's just that, because of many past experiences, it's really hard for me to trust JUST anyone. It takes a long time, not just a couple of months but possibly years...who knows? Have you guys ever felt like this? I don't even know why I started talking about trust, it was just the first thing that popped into my head when I decided to make a post. ^^

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For me, it's sometimes like that, but not all the time, becuase I believe in giving chances, but then again, it's still not the very same...