Wednesday, December 21, 2005

   best part of waking up,coffee in my cup
yay
bleh
my legs feel dead
all over
for wrestling we just did a lot of conditioning
did the cardio cage for 30 minutes
lifted weights for 30
ran sprints for 30
the end
and now my legs are bendy
woop
and now quoteys

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth.

The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mike, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."

I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.

and now gooday



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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

   what good is nose gold if you cant share it with the towns peope
boohooooooo
mike will draw something
because mike is bord
a yay
bleeeeeeeeeh
nothing to do
ive got to go to wrestling practice today
think thats all i have
bleeeeeeeh
booooooooooooooordom
think ill change how my site looks too
heres some quoteys

People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...

I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.

and now gooday


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Monday, December 19, 2005

   i like cereal
yays
first official day of winter break
and mike is bord
boohoo
well its not like its anything new
but yea
bordom
dun dun dun
wanna get a taco
mexican americans
always get into gang fights
and now quotey timey

My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

My house is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.

and now gooday
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

   mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........nuggets
bordoms
and mike is here
the mikester
big mike
mikey
michael
michelle
mixmastermike
watermelon
yea
yay
im bord
long time no see peeps
maybe ill post a few thingys
here you go
you sexy beasts you

I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refridgerator, blender....all you do is say what the s**t does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps s**t fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

now gooday
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Monday, December 5, 2005

   wow......weirdest weekend ever
yah
long time no see peeps
been bord
not much else to it
just really busyish
wrestling just started a bit ago
so yea
gotta get used to different schedule
wooo
well anywhoos
saturday i woke up at 6
went to a wrestling tournament
got 7th place
horrible
ended at 4
got a bite to eat
then went to friend Roxy's Sexy Birthday Bash
(her official term)
and we were bord
so one dude got dragged into dressing drag
and after about an hour every dude went drag
yea we were bord
we ran the halls of her apartment
twas fun
then we played some nut-ball
and some rock paper scissors slap
wont explain them at the moment
ill leave it to your imagination
no quoteys
too long already
now goodays
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

   wooooooo lazyiness
i spelled lazyness wrong
twice i think
meh
been a while my homeboys and gals
homegal
bleh
sad
been out doing stuff
yea
not much else to it
sorry to say i have no time for you people anymore
bleh
how rude
i do have time
just laaaaaaazy
you see?
ill be here every once in a while
so go do some stuff
check some pics or something
ill see you sexy beasts later
you sexy beasts you
heres some quotes

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

and now gooday
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Wednesday, November 9, 2005

   booooooordom
hello my friend
we meet again
oooo
fun
ive got a few new pics
peoples should go look at them
ill post them laterish
and i got football pics yesterday
should post one of those too
meh
meeeeh
up to you peoples
im lazy
so here are some mitch hedberg quotes
he was a cool guy
ill try to keep them clean
or censored

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load s*** into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

now gooday

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Saturday, November 5, 2005

   a hacky sack to the nuts hurts
bleh
went to the mall with friend kenny
twas fun
we got bored cause he brought his cousin with
and we had to wait for his ride to pick him up
so we sat down
and threw a hackysack at each other
at our crotches
while peoples walked through the doors
i got hit good twice
i suck at aiming though
misseded
bleh
was laughing for like 2 minutes after it though
fuuun
o well
heres some thoughtage

Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.

When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why you stupid, stupid bastard!" Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life.

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep.

think ive said a few of those before
meh
there just that good
and yes i have to publish these things
all in me notebook
now goodays
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Wednesday, November 2, 2005

   wow 716 visits
#1415 out of some 38,000 sites
yay for me
well 1414 people beat me
but o well
hmm
painted the front of my house today
it was boring
ooo theres something in my wall
literally
like a squirrel or something
but it scurrys around
freaks me out
bleh
so yea
ive got stuff to do
so here ya go

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

and now gooday
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Monday, October 31, 2005

   wow halloweeny
i trick or treated
it was a sad fun time
went with 3 friends
Roxy was a slutty schoolgirl
Ron was Michael
Thom said he smelled good
and i was a drunken clown
iono why i was drunken
but thats what she wrote on my forehead
so yea
and i got candy
but it feels weird
cause i should be out of trick or treating by now
didnt even go the last three years
but went with me friends this year
had fun
yays
so heres some thoughtage
which i am starting to run out of
so two of them for now

Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.

short but sweet
sort of
now gooday

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