Friday, August 12, 2005

   i wish i had a laugh track
wooo
i gots a new story to share
and now it is time for
story....time?
woooo
Some guy called me up today and said we need to "Save the Dolphins." I told him "Alright, I'll do it." I'm heading out to the beach tomorrow with a net and a mallet. I'm hoping to catch a few and put them into my swimming pool, that way nobody can hurt them, and it will make for a fun time in the pool for everyone... I'm no dolphin saving expert, but I once caught a raccoon and kept it in the basement for three weeks. I named it "Raccoon-o." I find the best pet names are the name of the animal follow by "-o." Raccoon-o would hide under the sofa all day, but at night I could hear it come out to cry and scratch at the walls. I don't know whatever happened to him, but I bet wherever he is he misses me. I miss him too. The first dolphin I catch I'm going to name "Squeaky" because I think that would be a good name for a dolphin. The next one I catch I will name "Tony Danza," because he is the funniest actor of all time. If I should be lucky enough to catch a third, I was thinking about naming it "Tony Danza-o" or "Scott Baio."
for those of you youngins
those are actors of the finest quality
yes the finest quality
AKA 80's citcoms
woooooooooo
"o no,i gotta fart,but i dont know which way to lean..."-Peter Griffin
now gooday
Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, August 11, 2005

   moo
gonna change me site
going to go with the stewie look
you know
little family guy....guy
with the babyness
and the go to hell
and the finger
yea
him
hes great
and will be my sites main focus
at least teh look of it
wooooooooo
now gooday
Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

   Mulish:stubborn like a muel
woo
im bord
and
ive run dry on my akward yet funny stories
boohoo
ill think of something soon
or will i?
iono
bordom
o
i did draw something though
copied
as i usually do
swimsuit lady from PSM magazine
wooo
its pretty good i gotta admit
ill admit it later
wooooooooo
drew Gir too
WOO
now gooday
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, August 5, 2005

   a scrumtrelescent tale of bordom
scumtrelescent
havent used that one in a while
and now i have
and that is that
na na na na life goes on
and bleh
ill get to the point
here you go
I went to a circus last week. It was a pretty good show until somebody (me) decided to shine a laser pointer into the dancing bear's eye. Everyone tried to calm the bear down. First the tamers ran in and tried to catch him but the bear started biting one of them and the others ran away like sissies. Then the clowns tried to help out, I don't know what they were trying to do… maybe make the bear laugh or something, but that didn't work. They should have done that "too many clowns in the car" trick. That one gets me every time. Then somebody got the smart idea of letting the lion out to go fight the bear, but the lion just ran into the audience and starting attacking people. I told them to let the tiger out to go stop the lion. The smartest thing they could have done was thrown the bear a child or something so that way he wont kill everyone, he'll just chew on one kid. And there was so many kids there anyway, what's one less? I certainly wouldn't have noticed.
you know what?
ive got some problems
wooooooo
all in good fun
well not good fun per se'
meaningless yet cruel fun
you know?
the fun kind of fun
now gooday

Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, August 4, 2005

   woooo........nothingness
yeah
woo
indeed
not much to say
have a few more thingys though!
dont know what to call them
tales of bordom?
meh
here yeh go
I got some new neighbors yesterday. I think they are farmers because they have 2 cows in the backyard. This is the biggest thing to happen on my street since Go-Bo the Clown moved in last year. They also have a pig, but its not like the ones in the movies, this one doesn't talk or anything. I told my new neighbors to keep their pig off my yard or else I'm gonna keep it and race it at the county fairs. Every time I see them I say something along the lines of 'That pig looks like one hell of a racer… Its got racing blood in its veins." I also tell them that they should keep their cows on a leash because they are vicious. I don't trust cows. They once killed a dog of mine. My dog was just hanging out on the lawn, minding his own, then a bunch of local cows came over and attacked him... Tore him to bits. I chased those cows away and vowed to tip over each and every last one of them when they were sleeping. Cows are pack hunters, and I think they should be shot.
yeh
i need more hobbies
i mean this is good and all
it just doesnt fill in a day
woooooooo
now gooday


Comments (6) | Permalink

Monday, August 1, 2005

   wooo 600 visits
you other people probably beat me already
but im proud of my 600 visits
and ive been writing a lot of nonsense lately
like in my freetime
i just pick a subject and go off from there
like today
new garbagemen
here you go
We got new garbage men. The garbage men in my neighborhood always quit. I hate them all anyway, they always complain about me. So I happen to throw out more rocks and boulders than most people. I remember when my dog Jerome died. I didn't feel like burying him because I'm lazy like that, so I threw him into the garbage can… Only Jerome was a big dog, so he didn't quite fit. The garbage man tried to dump him into the truck but he fell onto the road, so the garbage man was trying to pick him up by his legs and toss him into the back. He couldn't do it so he just left Jerome next to the empty cans. I tried to throw that dog out for three weeks straight. By the fourth week I got tired of trying so I put him in my neighbors garbage, let them worry about it. Last I saw Jerome he was at the house across the street with a pink bow on his head. Those people have some sick kids.
wow
fun
so yay for 600 visits
almost 100 GB visits
i need to visit more people
bleh
im lazy like that
goodays
Comments (5) | Permalink

Friday, July 29, 2005

o fine,lose your sense of humor people
jeebus
when i say throw rocks at koala bears is fun
i mean....throwing rocks at animals in general is fun
bleh
no sense of humor at all
luckily no animals were hurt in that post
ok?
ok
happy now people
i cry jeebus in your face
jeebus
i see ive gotten my randomness back
o look,here it is now
in paragraph form
yet again
wooooooo
nothing was hurt in this fictional piece by mixmastermike
so there
I found seven bees nests in my backyard today. I love those things. Whenever I see one I take it down and put it in somebody's mailbox. I close the mailbox door then shake the box up real good, that way when people check their mail they get a fun surprise, courtesy of mixmastermike. One time I collected twenty-three nests (bees, hornets, wasps) and I threw them all over the fence into my neighbors backyard while he was having a family BBQ. I didn't really have a good reason for doing it, so when he asked I said I did it because I wasn't invited, so I was angry. Now every time he has a BBQ he invites me and I have to think of an excuse not to go. Last time I told him I didn't want to go because I hate his children, but I'm running out of excuses.
yea
so dont go all koo koo on me
goodays people

Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, July 28, 2005

   bleh im bord
so here the post
in paragraph form
lucky you people
well its not paragraph form yet
but i will be
dont worry
o look its starting
I went to the zoo this weekend. They have this koala there that all people look at and say "Isn't it so cute?" I find the more people like something, the more it hurts them when they see bad things happen to it. I knocked it out of the tree with a rock. I don't mind koalas, but I just like to throw rocks at the animals in the zoo. They have signs all over that say "STAY AWAY FROM BARS" so I spend a lot of the day telling children to get a closer look and to see if they can fit their arms between the bars so they can pet the tigers. I say "That's a friendly one, I can tell. He looks like he wants to be pet" and the children want to pet the tiger so bad. I usually have to help them over the fence so they can get up to the bars. Last week me and Bruce hung out outside the Monkey Caverns and charged people admission to enter. He was the money collector, I was the enforcer. Anybody who didn't want to pay to enter the Monkey Caverns got all of their money taken away from them (that's the penalty we said the Zoo established.) I took 17 wallets and charged 38 people $14 dollars admission. Zoo trips are really profitable if you know what you're doing.
bordness
yah
you guys have fun with that
im never going to paragraph form again
maybe
i even did the little grammar thingys
i dunno what they are
but i did them
goodays people



Comments (5) | Permalink

Saturday, July 23, 2005

   smurfs need to be choked with dental floss
for that minty freshness
mmm mmm minty
hmm
i need to claim the space on the moon
i mean no one else has claimed it
at least not officially
and why not?
they are stoopid of course
so im going to do it
and call it stoopidville
its still a name in the making
so dont make fun of it
just because its different
jeebus
you people and your insecurities
dont know how insecurities fit in there
but they do
and you need to respect that
when you do
you will know it
o yes
you will
hail stoopidville
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, July 22, 2005

   imbecile
such a fun word
imbecile
i am just an imbecile
or something along the lines of an imbecile
i need more stuff to do
hmm
and ive said that a few times
meaning i need to say it more
because i need to
do i need better reason than that?
i think not
boohoo for you
and your imbecileness
cant even see a straight reason
jeebus
i believed in you
and you let me down
how
could
you
gooday to you
Comments (5) | Permalink