Thursday, January 26, 2006

Screw X-Box I Play Old-School Nintendo
OMG... my new obsession... Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew... its so funny... (lyrics below)

dear diary,
mood: apathetic
my life is spiraling downward. i couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You,' and 'Rip Apart My Soul,' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab." and it doesn't help that i couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either, like that guy from that band could do, some days you know. . .

i'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
you'd be non-conforming to if u look just like me
i have paint on my nails and make-up on my face
i'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
'cause i feel real deep when i'm dressing in drag
i call it freedom of expression most just call me a fag
'cause their dudes look like chicks, their chicks look like dykes
'cause emo is one step below transvestite

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo

i'm dark and sensitive with low self-esteem
the way i dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
i have no real problems but i like to make believe
i stole my sister's mascara now i'm grounded for a week
sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
i can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
girls keep breaking up with me, it' never any fun
they say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo
dye in my hair and polish on my toes
i must be emo
i play guitar and write suicide notes
i must be emo

my life is just a black abyss, you know, it's so dark. and it's suffocating me. grabbing ahold of me and tightening it's grip, tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans . . . which look great on my by the way

when i get depressed i cut my wrists in every direction
hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
i write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
i told my friends i bleed black and cry during classes
i'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
you can read me "Catcher in the Rye," and watch me jack off
i wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
if i said i like girls i'd only be half right

i look like i'm dead and dress like a homo
i must be emo
screw XBOX i play old school Nintendo
i must be emo
i like to whine and hate my parentals
i must be emo
me and my friends all look like clones
i must be emo

my parents just don't get me you know. they think i'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy. well, a couple of guys. but i mean, it's the 2000s. can't 2, or 4 dudes make-out with each other without being gay. i mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways. i don't know diary, sometimes i think you're the only one that gets me, you're my best friend. . . . i feel like tacos
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

   Don't Waste Your Time On Me You're Already The Voice Inside My Head
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Nirvana- Rape Me
(They want to rape me?)

Will I have a happy life?
Smile Empty Soul- Eraser
(That totally makes sense... not)

What do my friends really think of me?
Lamb Of God- O.D.H.G.A.B.F.E.
(... confusing...)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Linkin Park- Faint
(That makes sense?)

How can I make myself happy?
Slipknot- Liberate
(...)

What should I do with my life?
AFI- The Leaving Song, PT 2
(I should leave?)

Why must life be so full of pain?
Drowning Pool- Bodies
(haha bodies are a pain... espeically when dragging their bodies to unknown places... Like the crawlspace.)

Will I ever have children?
My Chemical Romance- Hang 'Em High
(Like that totally makes sense...)

Will I die happy?
Slipknot- Pulse Of The Maggots
(... is that a no?)

What is some good advice for me?
Linkin Park- Breaking The Habit
(... to break the habit?)

What is happiness?
Smile Empty Soul- Every Sunday
(resting every sunday... got it..)

What's my favourite fetish?
Three Days Grace- I Hate Everything About You.
(My fetish is hating everyone?)

How will I be remembered?
Linkin Park- Don't Stay
(... So I'll be remembered for not staying.. awesome)

Half of these don't make sense... others are funny
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   I Want To Change The World
Ehh... sooo sick. God, I just want to die. My throat hurts worse and I sound like a frog when I speak. I'm at school but I know that I can't make it through the day so I had called my mother earlier before I left for school and she told me to call her during third period and if I'm still not feeling good she's going to come and get me. Argh, one more period until third... one more period until third. Then I'm going to call my mother and have her pick me up...

But until then while I am in my Computer Class I shall waste my time by watching InuYasha episode 6, Tetsusaiga The Phantom Sword... hell yes!
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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

   I'm A Popstar Threat And I'm Not Dead Yet
Sorry I wasn't at school today. I've had a sore throat since Saturday, or was it Sunday? Either one of those days and its just been getting worse. I woke up this morning with a horrible cough and my throat was hurting. I also couldn't breathe. So I called my mother and told her I couldn't breathe, so she let me stay home today. My stomach hurts badly and I have a splitting headache. Though my throat doesn't hurt anymore. Its because the mucus is covering my throat and making it feel better. But it still hurts to cough.

Yesterday was fun, me and Kelsey had an InuYasha day. We watched InuYasha the third movie and watched many episodes. And now we're writing an InuYasha fic. We've decided that every weekend we're going to have an anime day where we watch different anime episodes and try to watch them all. Next weekend I think we're going to watch Samurai Champloo. OMG I love Samurai Champloo... anyway that's all with me. Talk to you all later.
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Thursday, January 19, 2006

   Drinking By The Mausoleum Door
OMG... so god damn tired.... want to die... must to got sleep for the rest of my natural born life!
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

   Posioned Hearts Will Never Change
So I'm a bitch am I? What nerve that fuckard! Well That's all...

WALLFLOWER IS THE SHIT!
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Monday, January 16, 2006

I Don't Need Your Eyes To See, I Will Be What I Will Be
eh, my mother wants me to talk more about my secrets, to just tell them to my therapist because everything in there is confidental. But I won't tell her everything. I just feel that its not anyone's business except mine.

anyway, I did some quizzes, oh yeah I rock.
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Sunday, January 15, 2006

   And I Can't Wait Forever
Lies, it was always lies. That's what it'll always be lies. I can't stand them anymore. I can't help it, I just want to die. Why can't I die? I can't stand these lies anymore... god someone kill me.
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

   I Can See Inside Of You The Sickness Is Rising
Eh, my boredom has offically taken an all time high. Amanda had given me the If You Were gay music Video but it wasn't the one I wanted, there must me more than one... this fucking sucks... oh and it stops not even before I get halfway through the song... KELSEY HELP ME GET THE SONG!! Anyway, I have so many secrets I have to keep... I don't know how many more I can keep before I break, this is starting to make me go insane... I can't even say anything... I haven't even told my mother. God, I'm dying.
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Sunday, January 8, 2006

   "Say Goodbye To Hearts You Break"
Hm... I'm not going to say much on here for my first post because of two reasons. One, I am lazy. Two I'm about ready to get off the computer and get my hair redyed black. Now I guess I could go off any type about what I am and what I am not, but that would just take way too much time. And since this is also a blog/journal thing then I guess over the days and months of me ranting away the people who come back and read this over and over will eventually learn who I am and who I am not. Now I am going to go, my hair dye calls me.
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