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• oX GenjoSanzo Xo
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Birthday
• 1991-03-17
Gender
• Female
Location
• Iowa
Member Since
• 2006-01-08
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Amber

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Achievements
• Becoming an outcask in my school, the loner. Yeah not the best achievement in the world, but hell at least I have one?
Anime Fan Since
• A long time ago...
Favorite Anime
• Inu Yasha, Naruto, Happy Hustle High, Samurai Champloo, Model, Chobits, Legal Drug, Angel Sanctuary, Hot Gimmick, Saiyuki, wallflower, kill me kiss me, Princess Ai, a whole bunch more
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• To meet the shadow that has been haunting my room, I need to know why it has been keeping me up at night. Oh and to hang out with the voices in my head, they seem like cool freaks.
Hobbies
• Reading, writing, and singing. Dying, thinking.
Talents
• Dying, Crying, writing, singing.




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myOtaku.com: StuPidGirl363


Thursday, February 16, 2006

This Is The Virus Of Life, This Gets Inside Us, The Crisis, The Knife
Today I stayed home from school. I don't have school tomorrow or Monday. I haven't been feeling good since yesterday. My heart has been hurting me really badly. And I've had this knot in my throat and it was hard for me to breathe. My heart was pounding hard, like I just got done running a mile. Then there is the fact my sleeping hasn't been going well. I keep getting headaches, their getting back to what they use to be. When I'd have a very very bad headache almost everyday. My eyes hurt and I feel as if if I'd cry they might feel better. I'm getting worse and worse everyday. I'm getting back to the feelings of ending my miserable life. I've lived a lie, I've lived in hate, I've lived in pain for too long. My scars will never go away and I have to see them everyday. Covering them with armwarmers or a jacket doesn't do anything, it never does because I know they're there and I can still feel the pain of fresh bleeding cuts being covered by cotton, or being washed off with steaming hot water. I can still smell the blood, I can still taste the blood. It'll never go away, and I ask myself why stop? If it makes me feel better than why stop? To stop something that's addicting you have to want to stop... the thing is, I don't want to stop. I have nothing else except my razor, or my books. I want to be alone forever. I've finally have come to accepting the fact that I will always be ugly, I will always be stupid, I will always be alone. Even if my family is near me I can't help but feel so cold and alone. I just want to sleep all day and all night. I'm cold... My fingers feel like ice... my heart feels heavy. I just want to die... I want to stop feeling so hurt and pained all the time... and like my life I will die cold and alone and bleeding.
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