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• oX GenjoSanzo Xo
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Birthday
• 1991-03-17
Gender
• Female
Location
• Iowa
Member Since
• 2006-01-08
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Amber

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Achievements
• Becoming an outcask in my school, the loner. Yeah not the best achievement in the world, but hell at least I have one?
Anime Fan Since
• A long time ago...
Favorite Anime
• Inu Yasha, Naruto, Happy Hustle High, Samurai Champloo, Model, Chobits, Legal Drug, Angel Sanctuary, Hot Gimmick, Saiyuki, wallflower, kill me kiss me, Princess Ai, a whole bunch more
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• To meet the shadow that has been haunting my room, I need to know why it has been keeping me up at night. Oh and to hang out with the voices in my head, they seem like cool freaks.
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• Reading, writing, and singing. Dying, thinking.
Talents
• Dying, Crying, writing, singing.




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myOtaku.com: StuPidGirl363


Thursday, October 19, 2006

   Mou Ikkai
Hey everyone. What's up? Nothing too much going on here. I don't know what to update about, since a lot has happened. I'm at school right now so we'll see if I can write a bit before I get into trouble. Lets see here.

Last night I went to see my therapist. She has been very bitchy lately ever since she got pregnant again. Sometimes I don't even want to tell her what I'm thinking just because she'll say something that might hurt my feelings. And she doesn't even realise she's doing it. She makes me feel bad and she doesn't even notice. Of course I do not tell her to stop nor do I show that it is effecting me. Instead I just sit there and put on a fake smile and pretend that it isn't bothering me. I do that with everything. I don't know what to do anymore. God someone kill me.

I want to go back to Kanesville. Everything was just fine until I decided to go back to Lewis Central. God I want to go back to an alternative school again. Everything was just fine, I did my work, I got to come home early and all that. They even have smaller classes and stuff like that. I just really can't stand Lewis Central or any school for that matter. I just don't want to be here and that would explain why I miss so many days. Of course there are other reasons as to why I don't want to go to school here but I can't exactly pinpoint them. I hate the teachers, I hate the students, and its not making anything better by staying here. All I want to do is either be home schooled or go to Kanesville. If I stay here any longer than I will seriously go off the deep end and probably kill myself.

So last night I started cutting again. It isn't much but it was still cutting. I accidently confessed it during Connections class and the thing goes if you harm yourself, harm others, or if someone is harming you and you tell the teacher can't keep in confidental. So now my mother knows and she's probably going to take me to the mental hospital again. Oh well, it just keeps me out of school. I just don't care anymore. I don't have any emotions, except anger. I'm so stressed out about everything that I don't know what to do. God I am pathetic. I just want to crawl into a little hole and die, wouldn't that just be nice for me? It would. I know it would. I can't help it that I am the way I am. I just need to get out of here. I need to get away before I actually do do something that I'm going to regret.

Anyway that's all with me. I might update later tonight if I feel like it. Only a this class period and one more to go until I'm out of this school for the day. I can't wait.
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