Tuesday, October 4, 2005

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im going to bed early again,
today jessica said this might be her last week at bryson middle school. and i quote from her * oh, this might be my last week here*
and i said "oh??? OH?????? you mean here, at SCHOOL?????" she said yup her mom was switching her to HMS or some other school.
i made this big deal about it and i could tell she was mad about her mom making her too and we made this sign sheet that said "everyone that hates school and wants jessi to stay, sign here:" and 15 or 20 people signed. so thats about it, sisters bugging me, i hope jessi's mom lets her stay. night everyone
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hey guys. its kinda creepy down here because i keep thinking about that guy whos on the lose and that creepy smile he has. im not scared much by horror movies but.. well anyway, i really really wish kevin were here.
im almost too scared to go and take a shower lol but i woke up early so i could study and i was tired so i went to bed at 8 last night. its almost 5am right now. --cool! i think i actually emailed kevin, finally it worked. well i gotta go take a shower, cya
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Friday, September 30, 2005

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allright i know its only been a few days but it feels like forever since ive been online. ive kinda been real busey with school and all. and tomorow theres something im too nervous to talk about, so ill tell you later. lol
but im kinda disapointed cuz i know kevin wont get on tonight and i really would like it if i could talk to him.. considering hes kinda my boyfriend and i kinda havent seen him in over a month. srry, im kinda agrivated at him for not emailing me when its been like three weeks since he said he would.
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

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im in the bo class tomorow!!!!!!!
im gonna be going from now on!!
i just found out it doesnt cost extra if your in the black belt club!!!!!!
ok now, nobody bring me down, you hear???? im in a really good mood, as in, a good time to ask me for an expensive christmas present lol
cya im going to bed soon ^^
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im in the bo class!!!!! oh yeah!! watch out all of you, in a few years or so, ill be in the advanced bo class! and you wanna know something else??? it aint over when i get my black belt, so dont think thats all im going for.
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

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im awake, no ones here so i got the house to myself. ugh.. >< i wanna do something! im calling jessi
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and i called her and shes going over to her grandmas. i wonder why she always goes there every weekend. she said she's going at 3 so i dont think she should be out that late cuz if she were, she'd be there like.. 4 or 5 hours. but then i guess she wouldnt come over cuz its a school night. *sigh*
lately ive been having dreams every night. i guess im thinking too much about stuff instead of leaving it alone. dreams with kevin in them, dreams with things im scared of, dreams about upstate karate or the teachers. and some of the feelings i get i cant describe that good. i think most of the time i just try to feel normal or listen to songs to get my mind off all this weird stuff. do other people look at things like i do? that guy that asked me out, i told him no and he said to write back if i wanted and i hate that little couple of words people put in a letter to let you know they're feeling bad, and i never wrote him back. he probably thinks i hate him and right now, i just really dont care and wish i could forget he ever talked to me because i dont appreciate a guy even thinking about cheating on me. i should have told him i had a bf.
maybe this stupid stuff is because of that time i was at heathers and all the sudden got depressed for the first time. ugh i hate that stupid house why did i have to go there that night. Nevermind this is stupid, i wouldnt know why it made me get that way. i think my sister understands me more. she said when someone really has depression problems, they always keep to themselves and dont let other people know. thats because this girl in her class always talks about how shes so depressed and she just wants people to feel sorry for her. she told me that in the car. anyway, im gonna find something to do im realllyyy bored and i just wanna listen to some rock music
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

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my sisters friend allie is over and were all playing these old games from dreamcast and we hooked up our old game and we played penpal, we were laughing so hard cuz allie was running into everything and one time up this snow hill she was trying to get up it and started saying "i think i can i think i can" and we busted out laughing and kaela had to help her get up the hill lol and one time going up this slanted ice thing she just wanted to go back down it and we look over at her side of the screen and shes going down it backwards lol now they're playing this game called toy commander and we turned off the lights by running the car into them and kaela started shooting allie's pole thing at her home and set it on fire lol (in the game)
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i just woke up its like 12am i was like "crap" when i saw the clock cuz i missed sparring class.
i know this is weird but i keep having this dream.. er.. nightmare. theres two girls in the woods in a car and it gets stopped up cuz of a flood and they get out and try to swim back and theres a giant squid in the water and the next thing i remember is something happens to one of the girls and the other is at her house and the giant squid followed and i dont know why but.. seems like everytime i have a nightmare all the gravity is pulling towards the thing im scared of. anyway i guess i have the giant squid dream because ever since i saw those horror movies about giant and collosal squids ive been scared of them. oh and i have dreams about snakes too, but im not so scared of them. i had this dream once i was in the house and i couldnt wake up my dad and the phone line was dead and there were snakes everywhere around the house and the roof, and this morning on the t.v. brandy and whiskers, this weird show was playing and they were racing and someone was announcing "and number 5 has dropped out!!" and the whole time in my dream this girl and boy were trying to get through the race together, but the boy got out and while the girl was trying to get through, all these people were calling out "and number 2 is down! number 5 is out!" except the race catch was.. there were snakes everywhere.
ok well enough of my crazey dreams. yesterday when i went to the black belt club meeting we learned about pressure points. and i wont say any in case you people use this stuff on other people, but there was one you only use in case of emergencys cuz it could kill the person. but i wont say what it is, he only told us because were counted on to be trusted and not use it in a bad way. he was talking about poking them with the thumb in the back of the leg to make it stronger, and he poked me in the side and i kinda jumped and he asked if i was ticklish and i said kinda.. well.. around my waist, thats all but no one is supposed to know that!! >< one of the girls you'd barley even touch the back of her leg and she'd let go. now i know her weakness lol ok well mr.peyton was talking about this story with mr.T i wont get detailed but..ahem.

(i just want this to be noticable so you'll read it) mr.T was with this japanese guy and he said to punch him and mr.T thought the guy was short so he'd not punch him hard, and when he went to punch him the guy caught his punch and said he was strong, so punch him hard. mr.T went to punch him as hard as he could and the guy caught it again and did something with his wrist, got him on the floor and had him in alot of pain with some way he was bending his wrist i think. and then mr.T was following him around after that to know how to do that, i pictured it and kinda laughed. cuz i know if i wanted someone to tell me something, i wouldnt leave them alone, that is if they didnt wanna tell me lol
ok well, thats all, im gonna play pinball or somethin', cya
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

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yo, just putting an update on here, nothings happened much in school, same old boring thing. except for everyday on the way to car holding down this hall, jessica keeps shouting "8th graders are pimps!" to everyone in sight, even other 8th graders. being in 8th grade is cool this year, nobody talks about you, if anything, you talk about them but who cares were too busey trying to enjoy the year before its back to people making fun of us when were freshmen next year. well at lunch me and kaitlyn and robyn always find something to do, one time while we were turned around the girls behind us.. are creative with their food and they put an apple and stuck a fork in it and put another apple of top, stuck some straws in it, put french fries on the straws, put it on my tray and sang me happy birthday.. then they went down the row telling everyone happy birthday.
the only problem with school so far is that this one guy asked me out, but i didnt like him at all, even though i just said i didnt like him that way, and he keeps looking at me in this freaky way i just wanna punch him or say "turn around!!" man.. hes annoying. hes always expecting a note from me back or something, but i mean, what does he expect??? you guys all know i like kevin, right?? oh wait, no you dont, unless this is amber. anyway, he'd better not follow me home one day or whatever.. i told him i took karate,( and i didnt say this part but )and im not afraid to use it, and there are rules about using it if your threatened ONLY. so i can still use it without breaking the creed. ok well, ive gotta go get ready for school so i can have alot of time to do nothing later. lol
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

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hey you guys sorry i havent posted in a while, gotta make this quick cuz im not supposed to be on but school started and also, just lately, ive kinda had a problem.. "katoshi" has liked me since atleast the beggining of summer, and now just yesterday, my friends friend that i dont even know -.- asked her to ask me if i had a boyfriend. i said i guess not, because i didnt want to make him sad, or have to explain the whole virginia thing. i heard him say "what did she say" and it was so funny cuz he was turned around when she asked and she motioned over to him and said "he wanted to know" lol the only thing is, i dont know him, but atleast its an offline relationship. amber ^^;; maybe your not reading this, but if you cant find the right things to say to "katoshi", ill talk about them. having an online relationship is frustrating when you cant see anything more than the persons handwriting and ive been dealing with that frustration for a while. i want someone who lives close to me, who i can feel if they hug me, or hear their voice. i know, i felt guilty when i thought about leaving "katoshi" for that.. but i talked to my friend and that made it a little better. i dunno , maybe it wasnt ment to be. but the only thing is, if i ever went with this new guy, he'd have to loosen up a bit over a few months, cuz he was turned around and all shy lol now i know he doesnt normally act that way, so he'd better act himself ^^ lol anyway, other news, robyn's having a party this friday a spend the night thing, and jessi cant come but i wish she could, but atleast jenny and robyn are there and some other girls too i guess. were gonna have lots of fun, it'll be so cool!! ^^ ill bring my phone to call jessi lol so she doesnt miss out. oh, and i finally learned a little of tiger form #1 and.... oh i love this song!!!!! >< *jumps up and down* "no matter what i do. all i think about is you. even when im with my boo. all i think about is you" its not the words so much the beat and tune to it that i like. its cool! ^^ lol ok anyway, i learned tiger form #1 kinda, i got the block, punch, punch again down and then the twist around and block and punch and arm bar and punch punch punch and turn lol its confusing. im gonna get it a little at a time, i only know the first two steps and i dont even have those down so good. atleast ive got a whole month, a little over that.. but anyway, night you guys, im gonna study for a test, try to finish the homework i said i got done so id be able to go to karate >< and go to bed to get some sleep tonight unlike last night, i stayed up all night rping and kevin got on and sighed back off, he annoys me sometimes -.- anyway, wish me luck with katoshi and mina. later.
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Thursday, September 1, 2005

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I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! im sorry.. had to ^^ >><< i love this song!!
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