Friday, August 19, 2005

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today i spent the whole day with jessica, at a party at school. we got our classes, even though none of the teachers were there, we hung out in the courtyard where the party was, got something to eat, had a buncha girls come up to us screaming and asking if we had any of the same classes. lol the guys probably looked all weird when we did that.. almost all the girls did. we got stuff to eat, and.. pretty much the whole time tried to find the pervertedness in everything. and Jessica did the kareoke (sp) , first of all, i woulda never had the courage to go up there so i gave her my courage bracelet we got at the front lol and the sang perfect, by simple plan. it was funny the guy that played the songs was saying "right-here! jump!" and he was jumping up and down like crazy and jessica just jumped and little that time and threw her hand up and started singing the rock part of the song. she kept jumping up everytime it started up with the chorus. i clapped as loud as i could when she got done i was like "clap, people!" to our friends. no one ever clapped after people up there were singing , not
for the people before us either. i might sing sometimes when im alone.. im the type that sings songs good if they arent really fast like rap, i can sing.. um.. songs like the beggining song from darkcloud2. thats a game. or that song by this black girl called "we belong together". stuff like that. but only when im alone.. anyway, yeah, im still mad at you-know-who. and kinda mad that now my hands bruised.. -oh - NO he didnt do that.. he'd never do anything like that. i sorta got mad and.. punched the.. *mumbles* cmp screen.. anyway, kevin, if your reading this, what happened was earlier.. i CARED about you. thats why i said what i said at first. but when i started fighting back.. i just got mad. i get mad too. but oh well, im paying for getting mad now, my hand hurts like hell if i punch anything lol

ask amber even.. kevin, theres one thing i never really talked to you about, up until lately when weve had talks about it maybe. lol.. in case you didnt know, i guess.. lately ive been trying so hard to prove to someone a girl can beat a guy and.. i feel likes its so unfair to judge all girls.. i wasnt naturally strong, and so you know.. i had to work twice as hard to beat some guys. even though some girls may not be naturally strong some girls may be a natural at sports. meaning.. they just like to work for things they love to do. i hope you can understand this.. i trained for like.. i dont know how long, a year, two years maybe to get to where i am.. i just hate it when guys dont have respect for stronger girls. girls can be strong too. how do you think we put up with kids? and we put up with.. well alot of stuff, you know.. we get scared sometimes even if we dont show it. or admit it. my point is.. well.. id never admit it otherwise, but when i got mad back there.. i dunno, maybe, *sigh* maybe a part of me.. sorta.. kinda got hurt by that comment. but i never cried! not once, not this time. i havent cried since you said that thing about its what girls do. because.. man, i just hate it when guys do that, thats why i try to be the way i am. maybe i wouldnt get pushed so much if it werent for some guys. when i get mad, i train. i try not to think about stuff. i just get rid of it that way. and so ill just ask again.. why do guys have to be that way..? its not fair to judge someone.. i know i said it before, i thought this time maybe.. just that maybe you'd listen.
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