Wednesday, April 6, 2005

   There are times and places to be funny...

People are sick. Yes, it's that crazy... Sorry for not posting at Midnight this morning. My internet crashed and I waited until 2 to post. Didn't work. So it's 11 AM now. Anyway: I just want to let everyone know that it isn't a smart idea to try and mess with people on the internet. Don't play games like acting like your someone going to bomb a school or solicting sex! Come on! There are minors on this site! Get a clue, guys! It'll only get you kicked off or banned! Anyway, I had to get that out there and off my chest. People are so mean and hateful and really gross sometimes. I hope that person will realize the error of their ways. On a lighter note, Sakura-con is soon and J-con in Florida is not this weekend but next weekend. I want to go to that one, but don't have the money. I WILL go next year tho! So here is your question, folks: Which anime character do you think would best suit me from what you've know about me and the way I post. Also, what anime character do you think that you are most like? I have to start thinking about my costume now! I like to go as an angel or something. Cute? Yes? No? Thanks Akayo for your hugs and kisses! And thank you Panda for your help earlier! Love you guys!!

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Tuesday, April 5, 2005

   I've Heard So Much Church Music To Convert Some People! WAH!

Yo. Mexican Seiji! Well, I've had an interesting and fullfilling weekend. I can't really tell you everything that went on because of confidentiality in some of the readings that some of the women gave us. All I can say is that most of these stories were really heartbreaking. Yeah, I cried A LOT last weekened. I hate crying. I think that was the point of most of this retreat. But they took away my watch, my cell, all the clocks down. No one knew what time it was! It was so annoying! But we got to eat tons of candy and the food and entertainment was pretty good. I did learn a lot too. I did feel better when I was sharing what I thought about religion and God and all that jazz. I found that many of the others felt the same. They thought that it was good that I questioned a lot. I guess that it meant that if I had so many questions, then I was truly paying attention and cared about it. I do. I think the only thing I could have done without was the "surprise" confession. Yeah. Me and Padre on-one-on and me spilling MY guts... I think I went through about half the box of tissues. People tell me that I would feel better afterwards. Well, not as much as I wanted to hope. I felt ashamed for a while. I still do. But what made me cry the most out of the whole weekend was this manila envelope of letters. Different letters from people I didn't know, people that knew I was there... people that I didn't think knew I was there. Mom and Dad knew... My grandparents, aunts, BEST FRIEND had no idea. Those ones made me cry! The last one I read was from my best friend! Mom told me that she came out in one of the days when it was raining really hard and the rest of the weather was really bad to bring it to my mom. Mom got a call and I guess she told everyone to write me letter about how they think of me and how much they love me. Needless to say... I don't get told I love you that much from anyone and when I do it's nothing like what I read... I sometimes wonder if they just did it because someone asked them to and they didn't want me to be the only one not getting very personal ones... Dunno. I guess that it's the negative side talking... Boy is she a fat chick. Positive Pam (oh man am I LOSING it?!), is a LOT smaller... Oy vey. Where was I? Oh! On a much lighter note, I got $20 bucks from my 3rd cousin! ^ ^ That's two whole mangas, but that's beside the point! For Mishotarup! Pic exchanges are fun, ne? Well, this was a lot to write about. I'm still a little tired from it all. Um, lessee. I gotta leave something for you guys to comment on if you don't wanna talk about God cause you hate to or... whatever... Hum. OH! What's the best date spot you've ever been to?! First date? Favorite date? Your ENGAGEMENT date??? Tell me! I know some of you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend!! Me? Oh I feed off of this kinda thing. So lonely... Still waiting for Akayo Kanachi to get down here and sweep me off my feet! :P

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Saturday, April 2, 2005

   A Churching I Will Go... A Churching I Will Go! Hi, Ho, A Dary-o...
I got my Edit Profile page fixed. jblessing didn't seem very happy with me. He told me to be more careful with HTML from now on... whatever that means. I just do what I normally do! ::sighs:: Oh, well. I AM glad that he fixed it! Thank you, Justin! ^ ^

Prayin'.
I'll be on a church retreat for "women" (I guess I am one now. Wow. Sounds weird.) all day today and most of tomorrow. I have to wake up early on a Saturday and spend that day just... talking I guess. I sounds boring really... it wasn't my idea to go, but I'm going so people won't look at me and go "she's not serious about her faith". PSHH. I AM serious. I just don't like talking to others about me emotionally. I hate it when people ask me "And how does that make you feel on the inside?" "Let's put on our thinking caps!" It sounds like I'm being treated like a kid and I'm not! I don't like being babied. I don't like having to share my personal thought that I share with God. It's no one's business. If it was, He wold have made it so that everyone could tell what you were thinking! DUR.

Anyway. Update.
Everyone's still kinda mopy about Maggie being gone. Mom finally went a day without crying. My sister and brother are "back to normal", and Dad, well I haven't been around him that much to see change. As for me, yeah I'm doin' better. I miss my dog, but I'm greatful that I have my cat still. I'd probably fall to pieces if he died too!
All of my sutures are out now. Doc pulled one, which kinda hurt. The other 3 I removed myself with a pair of sewing scissors, a mirror and about an hour into "Silence of the Lambs". Yeah, great movie to watch when you're doing suture removal with blood and yuckiness. :P But I can have soda again! YAAY! In honor, I drank 3 cans of orange soda, Dr. Pepper, and Mt Dew (all diet... still being careful!). Doc gave me this weird syringe with a curved end. It's fun to spray the cat with it when he's trying to chase me around the house.
I bought Super Mario Sunshine for GC the other day. It's HARD! @.o I didn't buy the guide cause they didn't have it new or used. Some of it makes my head hurt with all the cleaning and stupid obstacle courses! RAWR!
Well, it's late and I've got to get up early for my church retreat today.
Come back soon, Mouse! Hey! AK! If I marry you, can we travel first class to Tokyo? ^ ^ But I gotta buy a killer dress first!

Oyasumi!
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Friday, April 1, 2005

   I'M BACK! WHOO!

Hey guys, didja miss me?!
It's gonna be short and sweet folks. Answer me these questions three: "Do you like the new layout?"
"What's been going on around here? New site changes!?"
"Umm... Oh! If you could be any animal what whould you want to be?"
I would want to be a cat. Just sleep all day and have someone to scratch your tummy and ears... well, not that I do that as a human! Just sleep alot...
Speaking of sleepy time, it's way past mine! I'll fill you guys in with what's been happening in the past 2 weeks!!
Oyasumi!!
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Monday, March 21, 2005

   It's done.
Hey...I just got home from work and a little shopping to take my mind off of what happened today. In the last post, if you read it, we as a family had a hard decision to make... We opted to put our beloved dog to sleep. Mom says that it's for the best and that she can't take the risk of her attacking one of us again. I was lucky that she didn't hurt me, but what about next time. I was against it. I just don't think killing is something you immediately decided to do. I'm angry. Angry because no one bothered to explore any options before this. Therapy, training, SOMETHING other than killing her! ::sighs:: The last time I saw her I was on my way out the door to work. That was at 1:00 today. I said my goodbyes then when no one else was around... I don't like crying in front of others... My sister is upset. It's the first time she's cried in a long time. I'm not sure how Dad is taking it. I went into my brother's room before they came back from the vet and asked him if they'd gone... He acted like he didn't even care... My mom's a wreck though and it was her who decided it was time for the dog.

At 6:20 EST on this day, we said goodbye to Mary Margaret Jane ("Maggie") forever.
Thanks for all your support through this... I'll see you in a few weeks...
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Sunday, March 20, 2005

   Hard Luck Woman...
Hey.

Um… How do I put this?
Something bad happened earlier yesterday (Saturday evening really). I have a dog. She’s a Jack Russell… On more than one occasion, she’s attacked one of us. Well, this time she turned on me. Don’t worry guys, I’m fine! Me, Mom, and Dad were just watching T.V. and the dog was lying down in between me and Mom. I shifted to get her to move over a little ‘cause her paw was digging into my leg (It’s a small couch). Well, she snapped and went right for my face. I was able to react quickly enough so she only got my hair and pulled on it. I all can really remember was Mom screaming at Dad not to kill the dog. I had covered my head with my arms and there was a pillow blocking her from getting to me. Dad got bit a few times and drew a good deal of blood. By the time I looked up, the dog went south and my brother and sister were in the room.
Our dog usually is okay. I think she gets jealous or startles easily. Anyway, it was one of those two things that I think made her turn. She’s attacked the cat about 4 times, my sister at least twice, Mom startled her by accident and got bit, and my brother unfortunately wasn’t quick enough and she ripped up his nose and face pretty badly. He’s okay now and that was a long time ago.
I know you’re all thinking: “Why haven’t you put her down?!”. Well, dammit it’s not an easy decision… but I think we have to.
I’m takin’ a short break from myO. I need some time to recover from my surgery still, school’s starting back up again on Monday, and this thing with the dog… I’m really stressed out right now. I feel like this is my fault and I know it’s not, but that’s how I feel.
My head hurts and I’ve been feeling sick all day. I think I’m coming down with something.

I’ll be back by April… I hope. Take care guys.
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Saturday, March 19, 2005

   Soda withdrawl's a bitch!
Yo.
Nothing much. Just watching my FAKE DVD. I'm bored.
I can yawn without it hurting now. One of my sutures came kinda loose. It's still tied on in there, but the ends are just hanging out and I keep chewing on them! Yes. It's gross, but it hurts! I attempted to snip the ends VERY carerfully. They still bother me a little, but at least it doesn't hurt when I chew. It was pulling and there was blood, blaaah. My Post-OP appointment is on Thursday. Hopefully I can have soda by then... I'm soooo... soddddddddaaaaaaaaaaa.
::WEEP::
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

   Top O' Th' Mornin' To Ya!
Okay. So it's not quite morning anymore in MY part of the world. But you get the drift.
Everyone having a nice St. Patrick's day? Corned beef and cabbage! Yum! Eh, if ya don't like that, drink some green colored beer. Beer's good. Well, not all beer, but some. Anyway, booze up, it's a holiday!
Update on my current condition. Still swelling, but only on one side really. I've discovered that I have a huge bruise on the lower part of my cheek. Some one at work pointed it out. If I poke it it hurts. So I'm not gonna do that anymore. :P

Ow! Hey! That hurts!
I just got home from work now. I had to work a full day today. A full day and I forgot to take my meds. OMG was my face swollen. I have a new nickname at work now: "Chippy" as in chipmunk. My dad shoots these things! T_T
Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful St. Patrick's Day. ::PINCH:: Ow! WTF?! Friggin' leprechauns... >_< I do hope you all are wearing green. Those buggers HURT!
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

   Ice ice baby!
My face feels and looks HUGE.

So glad that I'm not Kento-kun here. But I sure as hell feel exactly like he does!
I looked in the mirror earlier today. My face looks so fat! It's so swollen! I was able to brush my teeth this evening. I can't spit like a sailor yet. Not that I DO that! ::sweatdrop:: I have to rinse gently then. I saw that I was still bleeding a little bit. My jaw feels tight too. I have to put my whole face on ice. 20 minutes on 20 minutes off.
I just finished watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I'm watching now What Dreams May Come. It's a freaky ass movie about what happens when we die. ::shudders:: Oh well, there's nothing else on right now. I'd hate to have that happen to me. I don't like to think about it too much.
Okay. I'm stopping now 'cause I don't want to talk about this while I'm on meds. Daddy bought me cranberry juice. Y'know when you first drink it and you cheeks kinda hurt? That's what my face is feeling like, but times 10. It's like sensory overload. It still hurts to swallow too.
So glad that everyone left me so many nice comments and kinds words to help me get better. No one's called and my best friend even forgot to visit me yesterday. I got more attention here, than at home! Thanks guys.

^____________^
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

   Pills make you feel gooooooooood...
::scurry to bring yet MORE meds::

Can't open up and say "ahh". It hurts. Still.
Wakey wakey... Down to my last 2 big painkillers... Mom' making me mac 'n' cheese. ^ ^ Yay. Gonna stay home and play nintendo. Thanks guys.
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