Saturday, April 30, 2005

   Why can't good friends live closer to me? : (

Oh man... bad day. Why me?! Yeah, remember when I said that my ex was having his surgery today? Well, technically I'm not supposed to talk about it b/c it's where I work, but I won't say his name or what he had done b/c I can get into REALLY big trouble. Anyway. He never saw me and I did see him as he came out. I just saw his face. He was still asleep, but still really stressed from the procedure. I dunno. I only saw him for a second, but I got SO many mixed feelings. I knew what room he was in and I kept hearing Dr. So and So to that room over and over on the pager. I my heart kept jumping into my throat. The doc was in there a lot more than usual. Anyway, I had all ready talked to his mom to go over his information at Pre-resgistery, so she knew me. I didn't ask her how he was, but I did a BIG no-no and asked the nurse if he was okay. He's fine which was great, but later she told me that I wasn't supposed to ask. Honestly I didn't know! I was just concerned about him. Anyway, the head nurse heard about it and I talked it over with her. She understood and I think I'm okay right now. I just can do it again. I felt so terrible because I let my emotions take over and acted unproffessionally. I understand why they were a little upset b/c for all they knew, I could have been a pyscho girlfriend. So, good thing was he never saw me. So there was no harm done. I just can't go up to him and ask him how he was feeling after his surgery, b/c that would indicate that I knew he was there and that I shouldn't even discuss it b/c of his patient rights. If HE brings it up, then it's okay. I can act surprised and go "OH! So that was you?!" and pretend that he was someone else. So lesson learned here: If you have to ask about doing something b/c you don't know if you're allowed, don't do it. Don't even ask. I'm just gonna HOPE that my boss doesn't find out. Okay, enough of that. I'm rambling now like she is! I did post some more fan art. 4 this time! I really need those new pencils. Better start saving. Oh, I'm trying to start writing letters to a friend here, but he hasn't given me his address. I found out today that my friend is moving away soon. So I need all the friendship I can get! Still waiting for him to mail me. I hope he doesn't avoid and forget doing it. I wouldn't want him to do that. (respond to me via PM if you change your mind. Spare me some grief at least). ::sighs:: I'm really sorry guys. It seems all that I do now if complain about the bad things in my life. I don't know if I'm just seeing the bad things over the good or if the good is barely there for me to even pick up on. I meet great friends and I have so much fun talking with them, but they live almost 3000 miles away from me so there's NO way to even hang out. My friends here are also leaving too. My best friend is probably leaving for New York City soon. Yeah, it's pretty cool for her. She'll be studying with Jaques Torres! You know! That chocolate French guy on the Food Network! How KICK ASS is that!? Down side: best friend. Only friend here really. I'm sorry! I'll stop griping now. I think that I'm low on sugar or endorphins. Hay! Monkey Orange! Ya recommend any meds? Okay. Well, please go see my art work. I think I worked really hard for the lack of good materials! Leave a comment, vote, FLAME it! I don't care! Just lemme know that ya saw it!

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